She's So Confusing

[london1234]

Hi... My name's Carl, This is gona be one long post so i really appreciate you reading....

There's a girl i like called melissa
i recently joined university there and she's doing the same course as me.

In the beginning, she would approach to talk to me a lot, she was being friendly. And then one day she teased me so i dared to chat her up and she took the dare on.

So i basically started teasing her and i would say things like "you know you want me" and she'd never deny it, she'd jus smile and sometimes cover her face.

Then one day we had a deep talk and she said i was really similiar to her and that i was "so confident and sure about yourself". I asked her if that was meant to be a bad thing and she goes "na its good".
So then soon she started poking me and leaning her head on me and things like that. Everything was going fine.

Then one day, she suddenly changed and stopped talking to me properly. I didn't understand the sudden change in her behaviour towards me. I got a friend to find out and my friend told me that melissa was finding it uncomfortable around me because other people were teasing her too much about me, e.g theyd point to her belly and say "is it gonna be a lil melissa or a lil carl"

So i tried talking to her more but it just became so hard to talk to her now... she'd no longer poke or lean her head on me. Everything changed.

But i recently found out that she was getting teased about another mate and she stopped talking to him properly too because of the teasing.. but as soon as the teasin about him stopped, she was open with him again... So why isn't she open with me???

I've come to the conclusion that there must be a deeper reason to why shes stopped talking properly... because shed hav been open to me by now aswell since she was open to ma mate afta the teasin stopped
I've come to the conclusion that there can be only 2 other reasons: 1) she dislikes me ... 2) she likes me
i cant see any reason as to why shed dislike me because i havent said anything that would hurt a person's feelings etc... oh once i did say to her that "i didnt think id be talking to u as much as i am now"... what i meant was *you are a really nice girl* but she mis-interpreted it and thought it was real harsh.
So i said sorry about that the other day and said "i miss talking to u".. n she jus smiled and said "oh no i was joking about what u said was really harsh"

So i really dont understand her now.... she doesn't talk to me as much and every new day means i have to make an effort to say hi again and get a conversation rolling.. Its a new effort everyday
She doesnt usually start the conversations anymore (before she used to start them all with me)

She even talked to me indirectly the other day
We were all in a group and we were talking bout donoughts LOL... n i said to a mate "i dont like lemon donoughts..." and she goes "but i like lemon donoughts".. but instead of sayin that to me, she said it to someone else in the conversation... so you see, she talked to me but did it indirectly through someone else.

What do i do now.... ? from what i've said .. what do you think could be on her mind... shall i take the step forward n ask her out??
plz advice me
I jus wana know if u rekon she likz me or not etc....

Thnx very much for listening.. plzzz help me...

[F1fever]

Probably the easiest thing to say is if she's blowing so hot and cold now then theres probably nothing in it.

I`m guessing this is your first year at uni, which means you have been there a couple of months or so. If so I remember when I was at uni, the first year was a nightmare! It's just alot of people from alot of places away from home for the first time, and with everyone so desperate to fit in then conversations ebb and flow and so do peoples loyalties.

Let things settle, and see how things lie after the christmas break. When you can chat properly next, if you still want something to happen then talk about it. But make sure you start by finding out what went wrong. The thing with Uni is there are hundreds or thousands of new people to meet, have a drink with and expand your expiriences with, it's no good hanging yourself up on one girl so soon. Go with it and see how the land lies, but just enjoy it!

[london1234]

thnx... for the advice mate...

the thing is i think i like her...
and she's right in my group of people i hang with so the fact that shes stopped talking to me properly has unsettled me and i can't even talk to the other people in my group openly anymore because shes always around and so i get paranoid...

i just want to find out what's on her mind and why the sudden change ...
why the sudden hot and cold behaviour...

i said to her "ooh it feels as though i havent talked to you for so long" and she just dismissed it and said "naa i dont fink we've not talked for long"

but i do really like her.. i can't stop thinkin bout her n that's just depressing cuz i don't understand her behaviour with me

i just want thingz back to normal where i can talk to her openly and not get unsettled...

the thing is that im startin to feel uncomfortable round her cuz shes uncomfortable round me....

i like her so much though and want to solve this issue... but shes in my group and i dont want to sound desperate for her friendship...

[Ellynn]

She either likes you alot.....as in...more then just a friend..... and doesn't want word getting back to you about the teasin...so shes playin it cool.


OR...

She likes you as a friend....and the teasin is getting annoying because she doesn't want people getting the wrong idea....including you....

[mhussain]

do u like her as more than a gf?

Hussain

p.s. simple yes or no will suffice

[Rosebud]

It could be so many things... I would just come out and ask what you want to know? The worst thing that could happen is she could tell you she isn't interested in you in that way. And if that's the case when you are around her and all your other friends just talk as though your still friends, it will be uncomfortble for a little while but at least you will know how she feels.

[london1234]

thnx for all the advice ppl... n to mhussain

yes i do like her quite a lot... id like to go out with her but i dont know whats on her mind due to her hot and cold behaviour...

so im hesitant to ask her yet...
ive only known her for like 2months

before she was like "ooh we're so similiar" and "ur so confident n sure bout urself" etc... but afta ppl started teasin she jus suddenly one day completely changed... no more pokin, leanin her head on ma shoulders etc.....

all so sudden ...

my friends rekon she could be trying to play hard on me....
but even theyre unsure...

i once called her mate melissa by mistake lol.... n her mate rekonz she likz me.. im pretty sure her mate would hav told her bout me callin her mate melissa...

do u fink she culd be dilebrately avoidin me to avoid a relation...


btw... one day ma mate told her that i like sum other girl as a joke and she got all happy and said to me "ooooo do u really like her" and i went "no i like u" ... LOL!.... jus said it straight ... she jus went quiet lol... i dont kno how seriously she took it cuz the atmosphere was a joky one

and she even told me that she likd sum guy for 5 years but he neva liked her back .. n he called her the other day n told her that hes got a gf lol!.. n she jus goes "whateva i dont want all that mess anyway now"....
im suspectin shes jus usin that other guy as a cover up??? how likely do u fink that is


n when i started talkin to sum other girl last week quite a lot... she noticed n jokingly said "ah hes tryn it on u".... so she does notice when i talk to other girlz


she did once call me a flirt so i dont know if shes put off cuz she finkz im gona leave her or anythin.... but i know i really like her and wont do anythin liek that...

[lilwing89]

is your name carl london and do you live in durango drive in toledo ohio...if so i think i know you mwahahahahhaa(hint: jones)

[london1234]

lol na sorry.. im carl mcadam n i liv in the UK sorry lol... but what do u fink of my situation...
what do u fink might be on her mind

[london1234]

btw people...
if she was interested then dont you think she would text me or anything (because thats private so no one would know about it)....

but she doesn't even do that...

what do you think about that

[mini696]

Maybe she doesn't know if you like her as "more than just friends". When people tease her about being pregnant, she gets embarrased because it is obvious to them she likes you -so she thinks it should be obvious to you too-. In the back of her mind shes thinking "What if he doesnt really like me? He should know I do because everyone else can see it. He mustn't like me then because he hasn't made a move"

Your sarcastic, hurtful, and joking nature towards her will come off as confusing. Stop beating around the bush and protecting yourself through -what you think are- "jokes".

Mick

[mini696]

btw people...
if she was interested then dont you think she would text me or anything

No.........

[mhussain]

my friend,

ask her if you feel that the friendship you are putting at risk is worth the love you feel for her.

Hussain

[london1234]

No.........

how comes you rekon she wouldnt text??
mabye cuz she thinks id tell other people...

hmm thats true




and mini696.... i havent told her i like her in that way but ive given hints such as "aww i miss talking to you" and "i always want to see you smiling" etc etc

and the other day.... there was a seat next to her in the lecture so i was gona sit with her there but instead she told people to move up seats ... so basically everyone moved a seat so i ended at the end of the row....
what the hell was that all bout... is she tryna ignore me do you think....
trying to run away or keep her distance...?

i just know for definite that she told my mate that she doesnt talk to me properly cuz of the teasin.. but that cant be the only reason because shes talking openly to ma mate who she got teased bout for a few days too... so she either dislikez or likez me... but i JUST CANT GET IT... lol

oh btw... do you think shes jus tryna move away from me cuz we're all new at uni (first years) so shes just testing out new ppl.... but then again shes part of my group and talks to everyone else so freely but with me shes hot n cold.... sumtimez actz nice n sumtimez quiet!!!

but also... mhussain.... if i ask her if the friendship that is at risk is worth the love.... what if she gives a totally random reply such as "what made u think i even liked you in the first place"....

she could say that to avoid telling me what she truly feelz...

[london1234]

Maybe she doesn't know if you like her as "more than just friends".
Your sarcastic, hurtful, and joking nature towards her will come off as confusing. Stop beating around the bush and protecting yourself through -what you think are- "jokes".

Mick

do you know what actually... the time when i called her friend melissa by mistake... her friend goes to me "ooh u so blatently like her"..... n i was just kind of lost for words lol.. i jus said "err excuse me whatd u say?" lol

so her friend would hav told her about that and so melissa prob knowz i like her.... so wherz the confusion ??? she probably knowz its quite likely i like her so why is she still avoiding...