Being friends now - tough

[cohdd]

If you can, try to find other activities in your life that don't involve focusing on your dream girl. Keep busy by going out with friends, maybe trying something new like volunteering, taking up karate, joining a gym, anything that gets your mind on something other than her. I would think your goal is to keep yourself happy and positive and realize that there is life outside of your dream girl. And its better for you if she sees you in as a man who is confident and spiritually content, rather than depressed and dragging. You never know, it might just change things around.

If it is too difficult being around her, then don't. Because it may just cloud your mind with thoughts about her, constantly being hurt by comments such as "there will be lots of pretty girls there". Maybe you can resume your friendship down the road. But for now, do everything you can to take care of yourself, even if it means distancing yourself from her. You have many gifts to give, so you want to make sure you are with a woman who appreciates them.

[Journey]

Thank you cohdd - that really helps. I have distanced myself from her, and I think she must realize that too by now. At the time of break-up, I handled myself well. I cannot at this time, however, be around her as a friend. It will take quite a while I think.
But yes, I am regaining my confidence day by day. In every other relationship prior to this one - I met them through the circumstances - work, yoga, tai chi class etc..
This is the first relationship I have been in where I felt something instantaneous - like in the air between us. The only other time was when I was 15 years old, on vacation with my family, on a tour boat down the Mississippi. I still think about that girl on the boat. That time I never said a word. With this girl I was not going to make that mistake again. You see why this break-up hurts..

[Journey]

My ex's friend called me for the second time tonight. She left a message asking for me to meet her for coffee sometime this week.

I called her back saying thank you, but that I realized when we all went for lunch, that I still had feelings for my ex, and that I would feel uncomfortable around her friends because I would be reminded of her. I said I just needed some time.
She said for me to call her again when I wanted to, and I said yes, maybe one day we can meet. I feel good about it. The message will go back to my ex hopefully - that being friends is too hard for me - and that time is what I need.

[misombra]

good for you journ. be good to yourself.

[Mish]

Having intimate (With lots of flirting) one on one moments with your ex's friends would probably drive your ex insane with jelousy

One thing I can tell you, the more of these break ups you have in life, the stronger you get. All other break ups get easier and easier to handle. It's kinda like learning how to ride a bike really

[Journey]

[QUOTE=Mishanya]Having intimate (With lots of flirting) one on one moments with your ex's friends would probably drive your ex insane with jelousy
QUOTE]

So is this advisable?

Also I have been thinking. My ex's friend asked to meet - just as friends. Does my denial to see her for coffee show an immaturity? After all, I just met her once and it wasn't for very long. I'm not sure if it would actually remind me that much of my ex. She is her own person.
My ex could now be thinking - geez, he can't even see my friend for coffee? ie. Grow up.
Maybe I did the wrong thing..