What should I do about him?

[yelenaa]

I have an issue with this one guy. Him and I have been sort of friends for a year and a half now. I worked with his best friend, he would always come to visit him. So last year I had a hugest crush on him but didn't really persue it because he is a bit shorter then me( i found out in one convo with him this year that doesnt bother him at all) and lot of guys tend to have an issue with that. So the summer ended and I came back to school and saw him again after 3 months.

This semester I ended up not working with his best friend but he would come to my workplace at several occasions. Soon we exchanged numbers and AIM usernames. I was the one that would make the first move and call him up (of course I had something important to ask or whatever, work related). Halloween came up and we ended up hanging out the whole night and dancing together the whole night. He left then but i txted him that few of us are in a diner and he came over immediatly. He wanted to take pictures the whole night(he keeps my photos in his cell phone), he was very close but never crossed that line of something more. Which was ok with me, since I like him in a friend way as well.After the halloween he was hard to track down but he showed up at my work the usual day and hour and barely spoke to me. I made few jokes and ragged on him for dissing me like that. He said he didnt get my msgs and that he likes when I msg him so I shouldnt worry about it. That sometimes he is not by his computer or whatever. I just accepted the story for the moment, it didnt really matter much.

Soon we got a chance to hang out more, he would treat me every time, while I was at work he would ask me if i want to eat anything and he would bring it to me.When we went out he would let me play with his hair, while we are hanging out with his best friend (who is also a good friend of mine) and few other kids. And I am very carefull about being close to him at this point, I didnt want to be creepy, so when I asked he was like, no man, don't even ask, do whatever you want. Like very comfortable around me. Also he told me at one occasion that he is a virgin (coz he said it as a joke once and my friend told me that no straight guy will lie about him being a virgin, so i had to seriously ask) (he is 23, not ugly, stylish, educated, from a respected family etc...) .

Take in mind that with this kid there was never talk of any other girls, crushes or anything. And my ears were listening for this type of info for like a year now.He told me he made out with 11 girls in this year (I asked), so I know he probably isnt gay. So slowly i felt he was getting more comfortable with me. he seems to be very insecure about himself and his image, he always asks me how his hair looks and if he looks ok, and at the same time he admits to being insecure. He said in few occasions he likes me (in some conversations nothing like direct). Also I def made it clear that I like him. But it always seems like I am the one doing the first move everything. His best friend said that it was the same way between the two of them, his Best F. was always the one calling until a certain time he I guess picked up on that. Coz he likes attention and i guess needs affirmation. And I noticed that lately he has been IMing/txt me more on his own.I tried to ignore (didnt do much) I tried to be nice and it seems to work better. I just don't know how to go about this. At this point I am looking at it from friendship aspect. Im just trying to become closer to him. His bday is soon and i am planning something sweet and i hope he will free his schedule. Its just so confusing to know if this guy likes me at all or not.He leaves me cute msgs like I heart you and that i am the coolest...


Also there is this other chick that came into the picture few weeks ago. Nobody likes her in our college for some reason (i dont know her well, but people dont seem to like her) but she is really pretty. So he has been responding to her but his friend told me that he said he will never be with her. He saw that i got a bit jalouse when i saw him with her giving her attention, and he tried to get my attention when she left but i just blew it off, didnt relly want to be bothered. But then like a day after he left me a msg on myspace about one of my photos. I didnt respond for a week. In the end i msged him coz he didnt show up on his regular day, so i found out he had to go to the dentist or whatever. so now we are on good terms and he msgs me on his own a bit more, and we will see bout the bday.

Still....it bugs me, what to do about this. I really like him as a friend first and then more.

[clynn]

can you break your post up into paragraphs?

It will make it easier to read!

Thanks!

[Prodigal]

I'd say to get to know him better, spend more time with him. Drop some hints... maybe some stronger hints than you were before. Many guys are really bad at telling when girls have a thing for them (believe me, I'm one of them). It may seem really obvious that you like him, but he may or may not know that or even have a feeling about it.

Think about what you want. If you really, really want to be more, then maybe you should bring the topic up in conversation sometime. Maybe then you can get some of the answers you've been looking for.

[Junsui]

You said he was insecure, so he's probably not going to be one to take charge. If you like him as more than a friend, then ask him out on a date. Get some more one on one time so you can get to know him better. And him being a virgin at 23 isn't weird/bad, he may have just been waiting for the right person.

[yelenaa]

true. but its nyc and this city tends to be whoris by nature...so...yea...it is weird

[Debunkt]

He sounds like a stand-guy to me, so I say pursue this thing, and just do what you can to open him up more. Don't worry about other girls, because it seems he's into you plenty. Try taking some formal steps, i.e. dates and the like, and get some more personal and alone time with him. He sounds like a good guy though... especially that virgin part.

[clynn]

come right out and tell him you'd like to be more than just friend with him.....ask if he wants the same....

...I bet he does!

[mini696]

I agree with Clynn

[yelenaa]

i left him a msg and i told him that i liked him more then a friend.we will see now when he gets it how he responds to it

[mini696]

So last year I had a hugest crush on him but didn't really persue it because he is a bit shorter then me...

Thats is the worst excuse ever.

[clynn]

i left him a msg and i told him that i liked him more then a friend.we will see now when he gets it how he responds to it

Way to go!

can't wait to hear!!!

[yelenaa]

Thats is the worst excuse ever.

well only coz usually guys have issues with that.



but yea, i told him , and no response. Only thing that changed is that on his myspace in his TOP 8, i went from a place 4 to 3 . lol....

so i dunno. but yea, no response. whatever.

[clynn]

Aaaackkkk!!!

That's scary!

Well, .... no matter what .... you did it..... and that is very gutsy....good for you!!!