Please help. Im so confused

[Doopy]

We've had no contact for about a month now and have been broken up/rough terms for 2 months.

We dated for close to 4 years until she got into college (yes we are young, im 2 years older an out of college)

She said she was confused meeting all these new people ect

Same old crap she hurt me twice within 2 weeks so I had to cut it off again

Well now after nearly a month she calls me up saying she saw me at the mall, she wants me as a friend...I said I didnt want a friend who could destroy someones heart like that...she said "we might not have to be friends". before we got off the phone she said she still thinks/cares/loves me a lot.

now ive been dating other girls/talking to many others and yes, my ex can't seem to get off my mind. I loved her so much


what do i do?

i know i shouldnt call or text but im just so confused as why she would call me and tell me this when SHES the one who didnt want a relationship anymore

[sick-deano]

Maybe shes's thiniking about getting back with you or she wants you around as "someome to possibily go out with".She's the one calling you now because she had time to realise life without you etc? Im not sure, with my situation im no good to really give advice but it seems you should stay as you are i.e, let her contact you,keeping living as you are.
I would think if shes contacting you now and saying "we might not have to be friends", she could want another try at dating or just keeping you on strings for herself. Its sounds to me that you shouldn't stress yourself, IF you feel the same way about her or a have moved on , then you should know what you want from her.

[FrenchMaid]

We've had no contact for about a month now and have been broken up/rough terms for 2 months.

We dated for close to 4 years until she got into college (yes we are young, im 2 years older an out of college)

She said she was confused meeting all these new people ect

Same old crap she hurt me twice within 2 weeks so I had to cut it off again

Well now after nearly a month she calls me up saying she saw me at the mall, she wants me as a friend...I said I didnt want a friend who could destroy someones heart like that...she said "we might not have to be friends". before we got off the phone she said she still thinks/cares/loves me a lot.

now ive been dating other girls/talking to many others and yes, my ex can't seem to get off my mind. I loved her so much


what do i do?

i know i shouldnt call or text but im just so confused as why she would call me and tell me this when SHES the one who didnt want a relationship anymore

Hi!
How are you?
I think that maybe she realise that she lost someone that was very special to her, something people take for granted and when the other half is gone they realise that they was a lots of feeling there...have you ever heard people saying " you don't know what you got t'll its gone" well that true and because you guy's been 4 yrs together you got some background.
You guy's should sit down and talk, no commitment just talk just to see how you guy's feel about eachother, go for a nice supper so there is not pressure and then at the end of the evening you might have a different opinion of whats going on! Let your heart and your feeling decide for you don't hold back the way you feel! You take care!

[RescueDiver]

We've had no contact for about a month now and have been broken up/rough terms for 2 months.

We dated for close to 4 years until she got into college (yes we are young, im 2 years older an out of college)

She said she was confused meeting all these new people ect

Same old crap she hurt me twice within 2 weeks so I had to cut it off again

Well now after nearly a month she calls me up saying she saw me at the mall, she wants me as a friend...I said I didnt want a friend who could destroy someones heart like that...she said "we might not have to be friends". before we got off the phone she said she still thinks/cares/loves me a lot.

now ive been dating other girls/talking to many others and yes, my ex can't seem to get off my mind. I loved her so much


what do i do?

i know i shouldnt call or text but im just so confused as why she would call me and tell me this when SHES the one who didnt want a relationship anymore

I have seen very few (okay, none) relationships make it through entering college. For the express reason you described. Fresmen get bombarded with meeting new people and want to have the freedom to hang out and get to know people of both sexes. There's also the fact that you're meeting so many people from so many different places you feel like you've been missing something.
Now, if you're dating people already... consider giving them a chance. The temptation to go back to something familiar is almost overpowering when the opportunity is there. From my experience when you go back to a failed relationship it's never the same again and very few of them seem to succeed. If the person or people you are dating now make you happy (or made you happy prior to when your ex started sniffing around) I would stick with them.

[Lloyd95]

She was into all the attention she was getting in college; now she wants you as a "back-up" guy in case she can't date someone she really likes. Move on and don't look back.

[Doopy]

I knwo you guys wont like this but we are doing dinner and a movie, that's it

I plan to act like myself and tell her I am dating new people

[Doopy]

Ok so it's 2 days later now

We had a long talk at dinner, not about us but more so just about stuff like normal.

The whole night felt normal and when we got back the hug we gave each other felt like gold to me...she almost started crying

Well we are back together now after 2 months an it feels stronger than ever (I don't have anymore trust issues). It's so crazy how things happen

I know you guys say to never get back with your EX but right now it feels better than ever again...we both didn't hook up with anyone else during our time apart and now she has her life pretty straightened out.

Life and love are 2 crazy things

[Doopy]

still going great after a couple more days

she has been telling her friends all about us and how much she loves me ect...

[Junsui]

Good luck!

[missguided.rose]

Doopy.. I love that name, it's so cute!

If this doesn't work and she goes back to being all confused maybe you need the 60 day rule.. don't see/text/talk to each other at all for 60 days.. apparently this gives you clarity, a good sense of self and what you want out of life.