So I've been in this relationship for 11 months. We've had our ups and downs, but in general a very true and loving happy relationship.
It has always been uncomfortable talking about each other's ex's. but it has gotten better. From what I've known, her ex's were extremely upset and angry at her. I always just thought it was from a bad breakup. Not too inclined to ask.
Anyway, a few days ago a guy I knew she had seen in the past that I knew very little about scaresd her with an online posting about how he hates her etc. she asks me to do something about it. I started asking her about this relationship and she was very veg. And slowly I began discovering loop holes in her story about her relationship with this guy and her ex. And the more I pried the more I found out.
She had been lying to me about this past relationship. Apparently she cheated on her ex and played this guy and they both ended up finding out, which obviously ended everything. She has kept this from me the whole time, I guess for obvious reasons.
I am very hurt and uncomfortable to know my girlfriend has cheated in the past. I am also very frustrated she had made up lies about it. Do you guys think these lies were to protect me?
If she is lying about this, how many other lies has she told about us and her past? I always thought of her as this innocently sweet girl, but now I know what she has done. I actually can side with this guy and her ex and know what they mean when they call her scum, who would do something like this?
The funny thing is I know she loves me alot and I love her too. She has done nothing in terms of betrayal or lying in this relationship. (except the covering up of the past). I ask her for time away from her to think and she does not give it to me. Is she afraid I will discover more things?? Am I being unfair to her by distancing myself. I feel I have lost trust in her.
And to make things worse, she is about to go out of the country (where she originally cheated on her ex) for the next few weeks. Can someone give me an unbiased look? Am I just insecure myself and should accept her for who she was and realize she is a different person now? It's hard for me, I have always valued honesty and always told myself I would never be with a cheater.
Am I being unfair to her? Stupid? Am I wrong to ask for some time... is this even something thinking of breaking up over? Sorry for the long email. Thank you for any help.