Question for the ladys

[funsounds]

Holy crap, we're a little touchy aren't we? 'Generalizations' are exactly that.....something that doesn't necessarily apply to everyone. ::rolls eyes::

FYI.....most girls I know are ready to go out in 30 mins. Maybe you're hanging around the same kind of girls that want guys with six packs.

Oh, and also.....building yourself up and wearing muscle shirts to the beach doesn't tell a girl you're a decent catch. It tells them you're either insanely insecure or insanely egotistical. Where do guys get this shit from, really?

generalizations have exclusions by definition...but in the soclal practice of every day lives, we use it to affect the entirety of a group. that's how it sounded in your post. look at your post...it leaves no room for exceptions. i suspect that's how you view the group of well-built guys...without exclusion.

i'm sayin that's poop...

as for girls being ready to go out in 30 minutes? in my experience, that's neither the norm or average. seems like 30 minutes happens only if they've already showered. or only if they don't care about how they look that night because of the activity or the company. but if a typical girl has not showered...and has not thought about her outfit before hand...and is doing something where they'll be image conscious? seems like a 1 hour minimum in most cases...

so i don't see how a guy spending 3 hours a week is being obsessive about themselves. for the most part, we don't take long to get ready...we don't have 4 different purses, we have one wallet...we dont' have 10 pairs of footwear, we have 2...we don't paint our faces with makeup...we don't have enough clothes to supply a small nation...we don't count calories...we don't ask if our butt looks big...etc etc etc. if anything, i'd say it's women who obsess about themselves...not guys that like to stay in shape to look good, feel good, and stay fit and healthy!

for most guys, the average guy...night out at the bar, your own wedding, graduation, masquerade ball, guest lecturer, clubbin...all 30 minutes. and that's 30 minutes from have done nothing and no preplanning to being out the door.

insanely insecure or egotistical? why would you assume that? does that mean a girl that gets a nice bikini is insecure or egotistical? if a girl wears something that she thinks makes her look attractive when she goes out...does that make her insecure or egotistical? of course not! all it means is that you have confidence in yourself...that you're embracing your body image (and that's regardless of your body type). there's nothing wrong with dressing in a way to make yourself feel nice and attractive every once in a while. i go to the beach less than once a year...but i enjoy it...i feel confident.

there's nothing wrong in doing things to build confidence. doing things that build confidence does not indicate "insane insecurities". i like trying to look good, it builds confidence and keeps you healthy...i loved school because i was very succesful, it built my confidence and i enriched my mind...i loved playing the violin with my peers, it also built confidence and friendships and allowed me to appreciate and love classical music...i liked playing sports, it built confidence and comraderie.

there's nothing wrong with displaying and using your assets. going above and beyond the call of duty for your undergraduate research project and getting published does not indicate insane insecurity or egotism...playing the paganini caprices for your violinist peers does not indicate insane insecurity or egotism...setting the school record for the 100m and 400m doesn't point to insane insecurity or egotism. same with working out and going to the beach or wearing a tight shirt once in a blue moon.

lemme ask you something...lets say you had the perfect body (whatever it is that you consider to be perfect physical beauty for yourself). wouldn't you wear something that made you feel attractive when you went to the beach? i'm guessing yes...and there would be absolutely nothing wrong with that. i'm not saying you suddenly go the beach every weekend...dress in super tight clothes every day...or anyting like that...cuz then, yes, you might just be trying to flaunt a bit to much for whatever reason. your frequency of going to the beach might not change...but i'm guessing if you had your perfect body, you go swimsuit shopping for the times you do go to the beach.

btw...i have no illusions about equating looks with being a good catch, regardless of whether i'm viewing myself or others. but there's nothing wrong with wanting to look good (whatever 'good' may be to each person). and there's nothing wrong with wearing things that make you feel good every once in a while.

this whole thing just hit a nerve with me...because a couple times i've been assumed to be unintelligent or a meathead just because of my looks. i'll tell you what though...it teaches you to not judge a book by it's cover. i felt like defending the beer gut guys you berated as well...

[indigosoul]

..because a couple times i've been assumed to be unintelligent or a meathead just because of my looks. i'll tell you what though...it teaches you to not judge a book by it's cover. i felt like defending the beer gut guys you berated as well...

I only tell you from my own experience that you can learn to take a lot of pleasure out of this type of thing. Busting ppls assumptions. I recently had a local electrician (who was messing around w/our home's exterior wires) tell me to go home and bake some muffins when I confronted him (he wasn't supposed to be there, and I happened to arrive home early that day). He assumed I was some pretty, emptyheaded Stepford Wife. He was rather flustered when a neighbour (rather uncomfortably) came up and told him who I was. Normally, I would have been more forgiving, but this fellow was rather abusive (in the presence of my young son), so I had a really good laugh at his expense. He never came back.

[Tone]

You get him Nina!

[whaywardj]

...Oh, and also.....building yourself up and wearing muscle shirts to the beach doesn't tell a girl you're a decent catch. It tells them you're either insanely insecure or insanely egotistical....

Or tres gay.

[indigosoul]

Or tres gay.

...not that there's anything wrong with that


How was your holiday/B-day Hayward?

[whaywardj]

Pretty tame. Only lit the advent wreath for Christmas, the one day I had off work. Son forgot my birthday. As usual. (He'll remember in a day or two.)

All in all, just another Wednesday. Except for your Happy Nameday wish. That never happened before. Oh, also: Today is the first time in over 30 years I've worked on my birthday. Heretofore, it's always been my personal holiday. Regardless. That disturbs me. Makes me wonder if, in my older age, I'm in danger of conforming and -- God forbid! -- becoming conventional.

[bluesummer]

this whole thing just hit a nerve with me...because a couple times i've been assumed to be unintelligent or a meathead just because of my looks. i'll tell you what though...it teaches you to not judge a book by it's cover. i felt like defending the beer gut guys you berated as well...

Honestly, calm down. I've had people assume lots of things about me based on appearance, but I don't get all uptight about it. I was just saying that based on physical appearance, these happened to be the first impression I got from people of certain physique displaying it in a certain manner. It doesn't mean I think all people that are ripped are jerks, or that all overweight people are lazy. I have been on both ends of the spectrum myself.

I do tend to be a little biased against well-built guys because I know a lot of them (especially personal trainers), and most of them ARE egotistical or think they're God's gift to women because of their physique. So at least my bias has a basis in something.

My main point in all this is, people need to realize that being good looking does not make you more 'attractive' on the whole.

[misombra]

fun sounds... blue wasn't generalizing she said, "I SEE THEM AS..." or something to that effect, taking full responsibility for her thinking. generalizing would be saying, "all guys with hot, sexy abs are dumb as a kite."

[indigosoul]

Pretty tame. Only lit the advent wreath for Christmas, the one day I had off work. Son forgot my birthday. As usual. (He'll remember in a day or two.)

All in all, just another Wednesday. Except for your Happy Nameday wish. That never happened before. Oh, also: Today is the first time in over 30 years I've worked on my birthday. Heretofore, it's always been my personal holiday. Regardless. That disturbs me. Makes me wonder if, in my older age, I'm in danger of conforming and -- God forbid! -- becoming conventional.

A lot of ppl remembered your birthday Hayward, and sent you much positive energy, Oh Fortunate One. There's a whole thread dedicated to it, in fact. Working or otherwsie, so long as you enjoyed it, that's what matters.

BTW, being me, I must point out the flip side: you have conventionally taken off your B-day for the past 30 years... by working this year, you WERE being unconventional. So worry not-- just enjoy and get on with it

[FrenchMaid]

Holy crap I haven't been here for a while... wow..

[misombra]

i wasn't busting beer bellies by the way. i really do like them.

but i like guys with abs too.

a flamenco teacher once said, "don't dependent on your good looks to get you far in flamenco or anywhere else in this life"...

[indigosoul]

i wasn't busting beer bellies by the way. i really do like them.

but i like guys with abs too.

a flamenco teacher once said, "don't dependent on your good looks to get you far in flamenco or anywhere else in this life"...

Si, senora, si.

Now... what the bleep is your new avatar, Miso? Looks like Frank Sinatra about to puke and giving someone the finger, besides...