Really confused

[Mystikal]

Okay heres the sitch

I have been talking to this girl for about ohhhhhh 5 months. We have come along way and we hang out alot now a days (usually about 4+ days a week) Okay so on monday night I was browsing around the net and I stumble across her "live journal" site and well I start reading the first post that their was....granted it was dated for around the same time we started really talking and shortly after I did the dumbest thing ever and asked her out sorta speak...but anyways basically it stated that she was frustrated because one of her "good friends" asked her to be his girlfriend and she saw me getting attached because I was coming around alot...almost every day and I am just not her type of man etc etc.

Okay...so obviously this bit of news gets me all pissed off and all that good stuff so I decide to take off with out letting her know. In fact I dont speak to her for 3 days because according to her she was getting frustrated because I was always calling and always around and I was getting attached and she didnt want that because she knew it would hurt me. So I gave her what I thought she wanted and I dont contact her for 3 days. So anyways wednesday afternoon I get a phone call and much to my surprise I look at my caller ID and its her. Well she starts off by wanting to know how my x-mas went and everything and then she invites me over to go out with her later that night. Hmmmmm interesting but okay, I tell her I would be happy to go out with her.

So anyways we go out and have a good time wednesday night and well she starts inviting me to do stuff with her on thursday and friday and invites me over for her new years eve party. Anyways when I stopped and really thought about it...lately she has been the one inviting me over, calling me seeing what I was doing, etc etc. On top of that when I do get back into town I check my email and myspace and well she had left me a comment on myspace (which she normally doesnt do) stating that she hadent heard or seen me in 3 days and she just wanted to see how things were going and it almost seemed as if she was trying to say that she missed me or something to that extent.

Now this journal was dated for early september and here it is december. Obviously she doesnt feel the same way as she did back in september or she wouldnt be inviting me over and or calling me. However what really has me confused is her statement in the journal of "I wish he wouldnt get attached and keep coming over as if thats gonna make me change my mind about him...cause I am not" Well what I am confused about is....HAS SHE CHANGED HER MIND?

What do you guys think? Comments on this are much appreciated!!

[funsounds]

hard to say...but she may have come around...but it really is hard to say.

5 months? and she's the one seeking you out these days? son...i think it's time to find out for sure...ask her out, make a move, DO something. be a man of action...it's high past time...

[vashti]

Ugh. Kids can be dumb. Why post something on a live journal that you wouldn't necessarily want someone else to read?

Anyway, it sounds like she likes you now, but I would continue to keep a little distance just to make her suffer for being so unkind in a public venue.

[Lloyd95]

Maybe you could post her MySpace address so we could all see if she's hot or not. This will greatly help our responses to your situation.

[funsounds]

Maybe you could post her MySpace address so we could all see if she's hot or not. This will greatly help our responses to your situation.

i wanna retract my previous post...and endorse this course of action first

[Lloyd95]

i wanna retract my previous post...and endorse this course of action first

______________________

[indigosoul]

So, lets see. You are basing your actions on an online journal that she doesn't know you've read. Am I getting this? Is her journal anonymous (i.e. does she use your actual names)?

To my mind, this is similar to snooping in someones written diary, the old-fashioned version of an online journal. In other words, unless she TOLD you her alias (or its not anonymous), she probably never meant for you to read it. People use diaries to get out thoughts that aren't fully formed, or that they are simply testing out, or both (or neither). So, assuming you are correct and its about you, your choices are

1. Ignore it. Allow her right to her personal expression forms. Focus on what you know firsthand, not remotely.
2. Discuss it. But give her a chance to explain and don't be defensive about it. Be aware she'll likely be embarrassed you found it. As you say, even if she meant it, its possible her feelings have changed or weren't, as I already said, fully formed.
3. Just because someone writes it, doesn't make it true. Remember there's a reason she didn't say those things in person.

Relax and good luck.

[whaywardj]

Then there's always the distinct possibility she wasn't referring to you.

I'd ignore it and let the present speak for itself.

[Mystikal]

Hmmm indigosoul, you make a really good point. I guess my only argument would be that online journals are for much the same reason this forum is around for, to get your thoughts and feelings out and have people comment on them etc. Though you could be right in what you say because yes it is somewhat anonymous and no she never used any real names in the entire post and she doesnt have her name anywhere on the site. However she does have a link to the her journal on her myspace which I do have her myspace url and she knows I have that...so in my opinion it was only a matter of time before I stumbled upon it and I would think she would have known that....but I could be wrong.