Caught my GF in bed with someone else.

[alice]

Alice, I'm not gonna retaliate. I think it's better to have a quiet dignity & just end all communication. It show's I've self respect & absolutely reject her.

yeah, you're absolutely right there – this is what i did the first time he dumped me. and it's what i've been doing this time as well, but he just won't accept that. he goes on calling me whenever he's drunk and feeling lonely (his new girlfriend having a "night off") or trying to speak to me and groping my arm/trying to hug me on chance encounters (i'm living in a very small town, unfortunately) when i only TELL him off, so i felt i had to DO something about it. – especially since he's started calling my friends as well, in order to sneak back into my life that way.

but, since "normal" people don't behave that way, what you've chosen to do really is the best thing to be done. (or does your ex do things like calling you at 4 am, just to tell you how she still loves you and how her new man is so good for her, and even her ex [the one before you] thinks so, but she misses your way of making love so much etc.? – if so, she's as mad as my ex and you can shove your dignity and rejection up your a**)

all i'm trying to say by all this is, that i'm not a mischievous, bitter, old hag that lightheartedly takes revenge on anyone that played her a bit of a trick – it's only extreme situations that take extreme measures (or how did that saying go? – my english is not what it used to be, i'm afraid)

[Musicman]

Hi Alice, I understand. We've slightly different circumstances, I certainly don't get the impression you'd be vengeful just for the sake of it!

My ex hasn't made any attempt to communicate with me & feed me a line of BS about making a mistake or anything like that. To be honest it wouldn't surprise me in the least if she did!

You see, I think she shot herself in the foot here. She sees me as a reliable provider, always there, helping her out, with a large circle of friends she can socialise with (she has none of her own.) I truly believe she was planning to keep this little affair quiet & continue it secretley because she was in absolute shock when I caught her.

I think someone hit the nail on the head, earlier in this forum when they said "It's unlikely this guy she's with wants a relationship" - Especially now after the drama of me calling over to her when he was in bed with her. He's probably more worried about watching his own back at the moment than anything else!

But I digress....to be honest, if she came back to me at ANY stage & started trying to worm her way back into my affections & giving me lines about making mistakes etc. I'd have to do *something* preferably without spitting in her face first. There would have to be some action because that would just be adding insult to injury!!!

[alice]

good guy – sound attitude!

[Only-virgins]

Alice, I'm not gonna retaliate. I think it's better to have a quiet dignity & just end all communication. It show's I've self respect & absolutely reject her.

Dignity is important to keep but she sort of stole yours there. Go after her dignity by using some thinking. I agree with the ending all communications ...earlier...but after standing infront of a door and pleading with my own GF for her to open the door while there is some other guy having sex in there with her....sorry guy....take Alice up on her offer of revange.

[Tone]

if you need inspiration for your own revenge, i can tell you what i did to him via email – it's too long a story and would bore the others, i'm afraid.

Now I'm interested...

[Musicman]

Now I'm interested...

Right guys... Brain storming session!

Any suggestions how to get this ***** back?

I was thinking of sending an email into her work (she works in customer support & handles email queries all day) I was going to put into the email everything that happened & everyone in her office would be able to see it ; it would be degrading & embarassing for her.

Only problem is I don't know the legal reprucussions that might have. I don't want to end up in front of a judge for slander or defamation of character or end up being sued to Kingdom Come!.....

Any other ideas/suggestions??

[Tone]

No way dude. FORGET ABOUT HER... like I said earlier:

Who cares? You shouldn't.

You caught her in bed with another man, that should be enough to want to put her far, far behind you without looking back.

Be the bigger person here, don't waste anymore of your time or energy on her. It's really not worth it.

I was just interested to what alice did... I thought she was such a nice, sweet girl at first...

[Rosebud]

I agree with Tone, don't waste your time on stooping to her level.

[alice]

no, man, you had already decided against it! stick to your rejection plan.
don't go to extremes, if there's no call for them.

rosebud is right there, it's really a matter of stooping to her level – don't if you don't have to!

[Musicman]

Ok, ok. No revenge, definitely not.

I realised, yesterday that I left a $50 power cable for my external HD in her place so I asked my friend to send her an SMS asking her to leave it in her garden so I could pick it up, today.

And she replied to him.....

" ok. i'll put. it's bad that things turned this way. It was good time drinking together. <musicman> made me crazy. I don't want to be with him anymore btw I never cheated on him if he believes that I did maybe it is better for him...but I was together with this guy since the 1st of jan...after he kicked me out of John's <my friend> house. full of anger."

So in other words - she instigated an argument with me on New Years Eve so she could go straight from my friends house to meet this guy & sleep with him! Excuses, excuses, excuses..... oh and she never cheated on me? Last time I checked, sleeping with someone else counts as cheating. It's all BS, thank God I'm out of it!!!!

[alice]

It's all BS, thank God I'm out of it!!!!

good riddance!

by the way, musicman –*are you into music? because you'll find it a lot easier to forget the whole s**t that's happened, if you begin to enjoy yourself, talk about things other than her.

c u at the fun forum?

[Musicman]

good riddance!

by the way, musicman –*are you into music? because you'll find it a lot easier to forget the whole s**t that's happened, if you begin to enjoy yourself, talk about things other than her.

c u at the fun forum?

I know, Alice - time to move on.... yeah I'm a big music fan, love mainly metal.... Korn, Metallica, System of a down etc.