friends, lovers...still friends?

[crazyhorse]

i met a woman at the office 2 years ago and we became very good friends and found we had a lot in common, more so than our married partners. it stayed very innocent but one thing led to another and we became lovers too.
we split up or cooled things down many times due to the guilt and reality checks but always felt a void and therelationship seemed self perpetuating, she said i had away with words and was very persuasive but it takes two! we kept in touch by texts and phone calls but finally the pressure was all too much and things have it seems finished for good this time although we agree the friendship is still important but just that. i do miss her in many ways and she seems to be more in control of the situation, she wants space so thats cool but i dont know if that basically means i will always be a reminder if we do pursue a friendship like we had before we crossed the line. she no longer has a mobile phone so contact is minimal but i hope a friendship will stay in some way...............

[shh!]

I think you ought to avoid the friendship. I think you know you should, too.

[crazyhorse]

i know, it may only be just kind words on her behalf just not tohurt my feelings....i dunno,, id like to think its genuine....the whole affair initially was not based on lust...there was a lot of meaning if u know what i mean

[misombra]

do you still see her at work?

[crazyhorse]

yes but only in passing or the odd email just 2 say hi.........the dust is settling, so to speak

[misombra]

ew. quite a pickle you've gotten yourself into there. i say let it go and hope nobody ever finds out.

[Hugo Pickle]

Get back with God. Do you know what a marriage is? It is a commitment before God. It is a promise that you will love and honor your wife. It is an exchange of vows. Now I have never been married. But part of the reason why is because I will simply not take these vows with just anyone.

You obviously do not take religion seriously. You should never have gotten married. If you really want to attempt reconciliation then you will go to church and beg for forgiveness. You will be honest with yourself and, yes, you will be honest with your wife. You will most certainly be honest with God.

Let me ask you, why should God let you into heaven if you trash your own wedding vows to him? If you do not take seriously the sanctity of marriage why should you be allowed into heaven? Have you ever thought about that? Let me tell you something, when the bible speaks of only a few gaining entrance into heaven it is because of things like what you have done.

May god have mercy on you and on us all. May you repent, be honest, and change the way you live and take seriously your pact of marriage and vows before God.

[alice]

quite a pickle you've gotten yourself into there.

… how on earth did you know, sombra?

LOL!

[shh!]

Do you know what a marriage is? It is a commitment before God.

Not if it was a civil wedding.

[misombra]

what if you commit before elvis or neil diamond?

[crazyhorse]

by the way itwas a civil wedding...i fear the subject has diverted but i spose what will be will be

[Hugo Pickle]

Did you have vows? Was there a minister? Was there a bible? Damn man, now you’re making excuses to say that your vows we're not that serious. Wow. So tell me, why did you get married to this woman if you were not serious about her?

[crazyhorse]

hugo...are you married?.......and by the way? are you perfect?

[crazyhorse]

the issue here is whether she wants to be friends and do i even though on the surface we say we do.....the infidelity is in the past, we started off as friends and i just feel there is something worth keeping. i have heard all the cliches about no friendship after being lovers but that is usually after a lust filled relationship with not much else...with us the lust was never the focal point.

[Hugo Pickle]

No, I am anything but perfect. This is why I am harsh with many people. But I am no harsher with you than I am on myself or anyone else.

Let me explain my view on life. I ride a motorcycle as my only means of transportation. I own a truck, but I turned in the tag. I've ridden a motorcycle as my only transportation for going on 4 years now. Why? Because I like it. I like the feeling of freedom. I like the peace and quiet of the road with a helmet on.

But ridding a motorcycle you monthly get a close call with death. Every now and then some jack a$$ almost runs you over with their car. This makes me think about death and religion a lot more than the average person. This makes me want to live my life to the fullest and not compromise about things more than the average person. I am very passionate about my life and what I want. I do the best to say what is exactly on my mind and not to lie or be dishonest. Because I know that I could realistically die tomorrow, I live today as if it were my last more than others do. I wish that I lived it even more this way, but I don't.

But knowing you could die any day of the week just going to work makes you evaluate where you stand in religion daily. This is why I say things to people here so matter of factly. I do not intend to belittle you to make myself feel better by putting you down. I just do not pull any punches. I said what I said because I feel it is the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It is amazing to me how so many people don’t know what the whole truth is.

It doesn't matter if you screw up. What matters is if you try to fix it. You screwed up. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to fix it like you might die tomorrow and want to get straight with God? I hope so, that is what I would try to do, but most people do not do this. And because I actually care about others is why I am harsh with them. If I did not feel that you were jeopardizing your relationship with God then I would not have said anything at all about your post. If I didn't give a damn, I would have said something sappy that only hinted at what I really believed. Instead, I gave the whole truth as I see it in all its ugliness in the hope that you would change things.

They say that if you do nothing but lie and are deceitful all the time, then everyone will hate you, but if you always tell nothing but the truth, then people will hate you even more. They killed Christ because he told the truth. If I call myself a Christian then how can I not try to tell the whole truth as much as possible.