Well, I think I jacked that one up!

[PureCrazyness05]

Allright, I need some advice here.... Not sure where to start. Ill give you a short version of it all and see if you can get the just of it.

I am really into this girl... More than any other random girl I have had in my day.
She was really into me. We got back into contact awhile back and hit it off. At the time I was a long way from her.

I went home and saw her/dated her. This is where I messed things up I believe. After a couple of weeks she told me we needed to slow down. I think I may have entered the friends zone... Sex was great... she is everything I am looking for. It would have to be a distance relationship though (a few hour drive).. and she said she could not stay fateful - hince the need to slow down part.

At the time I was highly stressed and probally produced a bad image ect ect.

After she said that, there was not so much as a kiss. well pecks, but nothing like before.

She says that she is still very intrested in me and whatnot, but I dont know what to do from here. I think the real reason she is backing off is that I was too nice to her. I am not usually this way with GFs but thought she may be different.. the whole flower bit and dinners - helped her move even (thats a bad bad bad thing I know) fixed her computer - I know what you are saying WTF man? dont do that - yup yup I know so my question - is there a way to recover from this situation?
I really could see myself with this girl for the rest of my days... but - I dont know if I can handle staying out of the scene if she has thrown me into the friends pile? I dont want to use the standard game on her either... now that she has seen my soft side... hmmmm what do you think? give up? keep going? I know women rarley date those who they have labled friends that is why I am sketched out.

[Tone]

yup yup I know so my question - is there a way to recover from this situation?

Sure, just slow down.

[PureCrazyness05]

Well - I suppose that is the way to go because that’s what she wants... but son of a *****! I suppose I should talk to her more about it and see if I am just hallucinating all of these things - maybe a slow down wouldn’t be too bad I just don’t want to loose this one. Any recommendations on staying out of that friend zone? Does that mean I should just pick up and start dating the girls around here? Perhaps I have had the wrong idea all along and she is just playing me for a sucka? I can usually tell on that kind of thing though…. At this point I don’t know what to think.

[PureCrazyness05]

ahhh I see said the blind man --- after reading several other articles I've come to a conclusion: I need to slow the F down! (thanks tone) I thought about a few more conversations I've had with the girl... and holy hell I recall saying the L word way too many times along with other unfavorable things (speaking about the big M and s**t). No wonder! Damn I'm glad there is a site like this out here. Way to go ace... allright then... what do you recommend to remedy all of this? I’ve never really gone that far to say that kind of crap before... should I reduce frequency of contact? I don’t exactly just want to dump the girl off - I really do like her but I think she is pretty damn sketched at the moment. Now that I think about it if some random chick I knew from back in the day pulled what I did I would probably flip too. what would you recommend ladies? I mean she still accepts me after all that there has to be some positive solution to this no?

[Rosebud]

To be honest, i think the damage may already be done. right now all you can is give her time that she asked for. Still keep in contact with her but don't call her like 4 times a day or anything like that, let her call you. Don't say anymore of those things. And just go with the flow on all this. All you can do here is respect her wishes and hope you ahven't pushed her completely out the door already!

[PureCrazyness05]

hmmmm... I dont know about that method. I wont contact her 4 times a day or anything but ill keep in touch.. I think I'll just play it cool for now. If she gives up - well so be it. Im not just going to give up like that - I think she is as jarred by it all as I am right now... Just have to give it all some time and see what happens. Thanks for the help, and props to those who created this site!

[Rosebud]

If you don't give her the space she asks for you'll push her away farther.. Just a heads up!

[PureCrazyness05]

Well... I don't think the definition of space you are talking about is not the same as what I am thinking. She has given several indications that I should continue, I even asked her about the whole maybe we should slow down thing and she said we should just stay as we are... I am thinking just no more of this big L talk until down the line quite a bit. We need to spend much more time together to get that far I am thinking... but that time will come later as we are both heavily involved with studies at the moment. It could be up to 3 years before I can spend every day with her so I guess we'll just have to see how it flows until then. Ahh time, what a pain in the ass. But if all goes well I think it will be very much worth it. Wish me luck... and thank you for the responses!

[PureCrazyness05]

LOL - allright - forget everything I just said. I just found out I was being played HARD ... heh serves me right for falling for this one.... back to the scene it is. Ahhh relief - and torture all at once. What a pain in my ass. At least I finally got a straight answer from this girl.