Hi everyone!

[Mentallytied_up]

Hi everyone!

I am excited to begin posting here and look foreward to talking to everybody in the future.

I am a 21 year old male and in a serious, nearly 3 year, relationship with a girl (age-22) that I met in college. For the sake of clarity we will call her JANE. I am graduating from college in the spring this year and I live in a small off-campus apartment with JANE. First thing, I have NO idea what I am going to do after college, Job-wise OR relationship-wise.

My relationship with JANE has been pretty complicated from the beginning. It started with me being in a long term relationship with a girl that I met in my hometown, far far away from my college. We had been friends throughout school and finally started dating durring senior year of highschool. Lets call her BETTY.

When I met my JANE she was dating a girl who we will call ANNE. So, in other words, we were both not quite single. Her with her ANNE, and me with BETTY.

But we hit it off. Not right away, but soon after. I decided that my long distance relationship with BETTY was not going to work out because she expected me to call her too much as well as the distance itself. It just wasn't meant to be.

VERY SOON after that I went over to JANE's dorm room to hang out with her, just the two of us. Soon she was kissing on me, we got really into it on her bed and then she proceded to give me oral sex. Later we took a shower together and then went over to see her girlfriend ANNE who was hanging out with friends at a computer lab. Things didn't really get that serious because I had just gotten out of a serious relationship and was having fun with my freedom. Also, JANE was telling me that ANNE could not take a break up.

Later on after some time as a single free man, I really started to fall in love with JANE. She felt the same way. JANE and I started seeing eachother OFTEN behind ANNE's back. It was pretty hard to be in the same room as JANE and ANNE because JANE would be affectionate with ANNE right in front of me.

Eventually JANE confronted ANNE and though ANNE was upset for a short time, everyone desided that it wasnt meant to be. Me and JANE started to date legitimately. JANE, ANNE and I are all good friends and hang out often.

We eventually moved in together and have had a great relationship for almost 3 years now. This is where the trouble starts. Things have gotten dull, we don't have sex as much as we used to, its not nearly as amazing as it used to be. We both have new crushes. I am fascinated with this girl we will call GLORIA, and her with a guy we will call MIKE.

JANE seems to be very short with me lately, and just frustrated in general most of the time. She is really stressed about her job (we both work at). She seems to only get pleasure from food while everything else in her life just makes her mad.

I have been going through the opposite change, I am finding my self really excited about my life and GLORIA is in the same place in her life as well. OH! almost forgot, GLORIA works at the same place too.

So, yeah. Thats my delema, I really was in love with JANE, but things seem to be sliping away. And while I am not sure GLORIA really wants to be with me, or that it would be a good idea, shes helping me to realize that maybe I would be better off with someone else.

Any advice or oppinions are extremely appriciated.
Thanks everyone!

[Changnian Lu]

Hi:
Glad to meet you. I am from China. I am a 23 year old male. From your text, I can feel you are very happy with your JANE. Best wishes to you!
Changnian Lu

[Mentallytied_up]

Hi:
Glad to meet you. I am from China. I am a 23 year old male. From your text, I can feel you are very happy with your JANE. Best wishes to you!
Changnian Lu

Thank you for your thoughts.
I would have agreed with you a few weeks ago, but now things seem to be hitting a wall between us. I just don't know what to do because I am about to finish college and I don't know where in the world I am going to live, so I can't very easily just say, "hey, I think we should live in different houses for the last few months of college". But as much as I love her, I think I need to experiance life on my own for a bit. She is only my second girlfriend! I feel like I need some more time as a single person.

[Mentallytied_up]

Hi:
Glad to meet you. I am from China. I am a 23 year old male. From your text, I can feel you are very happy with your JANE. Best wishes to you!
Changnian Lu

Thank you for your thoughts, Changnian Lu.
I would have agreed with you a few weeks ago, but now things seem to be hitting a wall between us. I just don't know what to do because I am about to finish college and I don't know where in the world I am going to live, so I can't very easily just say, "hey, I think we should live in different houses for the last few months of college". But as much as I love her, I think I need to experiance life on my own for a bit. She is only my second girlfriend! I feel like I need some more time as a single person.

Anybody else every experiance anything like this? I really need some advice

[alice]

you'll just have to make up your own mind, i'm afraid.
judging by your post, i'd say, you and jane should not stay together. tell jane everything you've told us and find out what she thinks. whether gloria wants to be with you or not should not make a difference for you at this point.

[whaywardj]

That at least one among your circle isn't yet clear even on which gender she's interested in, much less which individual, is clear indication to me you all should put your hearts back in your pockets and your genitals back in your pants and go solo for awhile.

[Changnian Lu]

Hello! Mentallytied up.
Thank you for you response. I am very happy to meet you. I have some difficulties to express myself in English. But I can understand what you say. One year ago, I met my first girlfriend. And we are very happy at that moment. But now we have parted. I think I can feel your mood now. In a word, we must confront the future with optimism. Best wishes to you!

[Rosebud]

I agree you all need to take time to be alone. Your interested in Gloria because things aren't working with Jane. They started off by her cheating on her girlfriend and relationships that start out like that ususally end up like that as well. You need to sit down with Jane and tell her all these feelings since you guys seem to be able to talk to one another pretty openly if you knwo who she is interested in as well.

So on that note talk to her and figure out what you both want, most likely you two will split unless you decide to fix the flaws, and then you should stay single and not pursue Gloria no matter how much you like her.. You didn't get single time in between this relationship and the last and that's what you need!

[Changnian Lu]

Mentallytied up:
I still do not know what your name it is. From "Mentallytied up", I can feel you are worried now. But I think the future will be bright. Don't too worry. Tomorrow, I will go home. Because only a few days later, there will be Spring Festival. Happy Spring Festival to you, to everyone here!!

[whaywardj]

Changnian Lu: Your English is far better than my Mandarin (?) I wouldn't go around apologising for myself too much, if I were you.

[RSK]

(Let's call YOU, Bob).

Bob - You

Betty - Your ex

Jane - Your second, semi-lesbian girlfriend

Anne - Jane's ex

Gloria - Your new fling

Mike - Jane's new fling



Bob dates Betty.
Long distance relationship doesn't work.
So Bob leaves Betty.
Bob meets Jane.
Jane is a Lesbian.
Jane dates Anne.
Bob likes Jane.
Jane likes Bob.
Jane and Bob have sex.
Jane confronts Anne.
Anne breaks up with Jane.
Bob, Jane, and Anne are still friends.
Bob and Jane loose 'sizzle' in relationship.
Jane likes Mike.
Bob likes Gloria.



I see a musical in the making

[alice]

I see a musical in the making

that's right, definitely bernstein-material!

[Mentallytied_up]

WOW

You guys are awesome!

I can't believe how many people responded so openly! Thanks everyone.

Thanks to RSK for putting it so clearly. I wholeheartedly agree with what Alice and Rosebud said about not persueing GLORIA, I now realize that the only reason I am so imfatuated with her is because the JANE ship feels like it is sinking. Jumping in feet first to something new right after a break up is not good for anyone involved. Thanks you two.

As for what to do about JANE, I let her know how I was feeling last night and things seem to be going well. We are talking through some issues and I feel like this could go in any direction at this point. for now, I will just put my genitals away ( whaywardj), and really look deep into my heart for guidance.

Again, thank you so much everyone! I am really happy that I posted here and that so many of you really know what you are talking about. I will keep everyone posted with what happens.

[Rosebud]

lol, well good for you! It's rare that people actually listen to our advice when it's something they want to do or believe they should. So i'm glad you took the advice.

If you guys do plan to work things out and work on these issues it will be a long road and you ahve to be dedicated to all that comes up but it is possibly if it's what you want! So good Luck!

[Changnian Lu]

hello:
I'm back yesterday. Happy Spring Festival to you!