Sex problems don't even describe this...

[alice]

well, i couldn't relax if i were afraid i might get pregnant. why didn't the pill work? it's always been the only thing i felt safe with.

[i.am.me]

the thing with that is, it was actually my fault i got pregnant becos i ran outof pills an forgot to get sum, my bf did no but we still didnt use nethin. I know its completely my fault an i accept that. an to tell u the truth i wud have kept the baby, if it were the rite time, but ive got exmas in june, it wud be expected about july an im going to uni in september.

[vashti]

You are too young for a baby, and I think your boyfriend is just as much at fault as you are since he knew you were out of pills.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like either of you are responsible enough to handle the whole sex thing. No wonder you have no sex drive.

[Rosebud]

Okay back everything up now! Ok so your telling me you ran out of pills awhile back and you both decided to have sex anyways without any protection and then you found out you were pregnant and then went through the abortion process and your wondering why you don't have a sex drive?????

Ok first off, your hormones get all inbalanced when you don't take the pill regularly (which I imagine has been going for ahwile) and second an abortion alone can cause you to go through all kinds of emotions and inbalances. So that's explains most of it.

I agree with Vashti I thinks it's very irresponsible and I wouldn't even be worrying about yours ex drive right now!

By the way, did your BF know you got the abortion? And if he did he shouldn't be pushing you for sex...oh yea that's right... again, irresponsibility!

[Converse]

Could be down to the pill that can de-crease your sex drive, do you find it makes you feel down/depressed? If that's the case go to your GP and change pills.

[i.am.me]

yes he did know about the abortion but he's not wanting sex right now because 1. i've been told we can't for 2 weeks, and 2. he knows that i don't really want to at the moment and if when we are allowed to have sex and i don't want to i'm sure he will understand.

an the abortion really has nothing to do with why i don't want to have sex, because i haven't wanted to have sex for a few months now. the abortion was only last week so how can that explain why i didn't want to have sex before that.

I did say that i knew it was my fault that i got pregnant and yes i agree that it is irresponsible, but people make mistakes, i have learnt from mine and i won't be making the same one again. the fact is its happened and i can't change that.

I'm not exactly worrying about my sex drive right now, but i was before i found out i was pregnant, but seen as i only joined this forum today and that was one of the things that has been bothering me recently i thought i would ask for some help. and thank you for those who have helped but it really has gone off track now. It's not about the abortion at all.

its about generally before that for the last few months i havent wanted to have sex, now i don;t know why this is, it could be the pill, it could be stress it could be anything.

[i.am.me]

Could be down to the pill that can de-crease your sex drive, do you find it makes you feel down/depressed? If that's the case go to your GP and change pills.

the only thing about the pill is ive been on it for 2 years. so i don't understand why in the last few months that would have had an effect on me. i do feel depressed sometimes but mainly over superficial things and paranoid sort of things

[Rosebud]

I'm not trying to insult you in anyway, I'm trying to help you. You didn't give this information before and maybe it was because you thought it was irrelevant but it's not. I never said the abortion caused you to lose your sex drive. And don't take offense to being called irresponsible. It's not an insult it's just saying you need to make sure it doesn't happen again. I know you know this but you would be surprised as to how many people think they know something and when in reality they really don't realize the severity. So again, don't take offense to that comment. And we haven't gone off track as we are trying to take what little info your giving us to try and help you figure out where this is stemming from.

So if your willing to try and figure it out, which is why you came here, then I'm sure we can try and help you as much as we can. Otherwise, I hope you figure out what the casue is.

[alice]

this really seems not to be the time you should be worrying about your sex drive. as you said, it could be anything. and even though this might not be about the abortion at all, as you said, it's still something that's affecting your emotions right now, even if you refuse to admit it.

[i.am.me]

but the thing is, it really has got nothing to do with the abortion. i have felt like this for months now an i understand why at the moment i dont want to have sex but i dont understand why in the past, before i knew i was pregnant, before my exams before christmas, i didnt' want to have sex.
I will tell you now that i am very very insecure and jealous. I think quite alot of the time that my bf could be cheating on my while he is at university about an hour away. I think he doesn't like the way i look when he says he does, i just don't feel it. I think he wants me to be like yulia from the group T.at.u (btw i hate her an my bf is the reason why, he really likes her and i am extremely jealous and annoyed by that which i know is stupid and immature but i can;t help it). I get annoyed when he looks at porn or if we are watching a film and a woman gets her boobs out him saying 'ooh', this again is silly but i am insecure and i know it. I constantly feel like i need to check up on him because he might be cheating.
Now i bet this is why i don;t want to have sex but what can i do about my insecurities and jealousy without going to a "shrink"

[Rosebud]

See this is what I meant hun. You knew this was the problem all along, why didn't you mention this?

Basically if you don't go to a shrink, you ahve to do things to boost your own self esteem. Do things for you, you know take a bubble bath and realx. Things that make you feel good about yourself. That's on area to start. Another is to accept yourself for who you are not judge yourself or compare yourself to others.

[i.am.me]

i wouldn't have thought that would be such a big deal until someone said about insecurities. a lot of the things that get me down are superficial and there are ways i can change them, like i want longer hair but my short hair is annoying me, but it's going to take ages to grow, i want less spots an i can do things for that but all the things i want to change about myself will take time and i don;t have the patience, im unhappy now and i want to make myself happy but i can;t

[Converse]

This might sound really stupid but try some exercise like swimming, I have similar insecurites like you, espcially when I was with my ex. I started swimming and it really did help, takes your mind off stuff.

[Rosebud]

i wouldn't have thought that would be such a big deal until someone said about insecurities. a lot of the things that get me down are superficial and there are ways i can change them, like i want longer hair but my short hair is annoying me, but it's going to take ages to grow, i want less spots an i can do things for that but all the things i want to change about myself will take time and i don;t have the patience, im unhappy now and i want to make myself happy but i can;t

Yes your right, the things your talking about are superficial and that stuff isn't as important as the major insecurities and self esteem issues you have. Have you been like this for awhile or just recently as in with this BF?

[alice]

hmmm, didn't you say you're studying psychology in your introduction? if you feel you need to do something about your insecurities, you'll have to ask a professional to help you, unless you think you're able to sort this out by yourself.
seeing your bf watch porn or hearing his remarks on other women's boobs is annoying, at least it would annoy me, and i wouldn't call myself stupid and immature because of that.
your sex drive doesn't seem to be your biggest problem and i don't think it makes sense to worry about it now.