Sex problems don't even describe this...

[i.am.me]

i am a member of a gym where i could swim, i just don't because i get weird cramp pains in my foot when i do. thanks for all your help. i guess i'm just going to have to live with it really because other than exercise and bubble baths i don't think there is much i can do to increase my sex drive or my self esteem. it doesn;t really help that i have no-one i feel comfortable talkin to about it.

just one last thing, with my bf knowing how much i dislike yulia from tatu and the fact that i've already told him how it annoys me that he seems obssessed with her. would you think my reaction to him showing me this image - [url]http://jpg.softcore.pornparks.com/cs003/tatu/tatu20.jpg[/url] - is justified? my reaction being getting pissed off at him an not speaking to him since he went offline at about 4 hours ago. i also plan not to text him in at all tomorrow unless he texted me first. bearing in mind i am meant to be picking him up and bringing him home. and btw he hasn't said sorry.

[Converse]

He sounds like he's trying to get a reaction from you with the whole Yulia thing and if that's the case he's really immature and you know deep down he's not going to get with her, try not to take it to heart.

I don't know what to say about yout insecurities hun, apart from I know how you feel, try to do some stuff that makes you feel good, like hanging out with your friends or something.

Don't pick him up make him get a lift of his own.

Take care.

[i.am.me]

to rosebud well ive bin with my bf for 2.5 years now so it has only been with him that i've felt like this, but i think thats because of him, for example saying stuff about other girls infront of me makes me insecure about the way i am.
to alice i am studying psychology and i have studied relationship funnily enough but it hasn't really helped, and the problem with going to get professional help is that it costs money and i don't really have the money to be doing that. and the problem with the sex drive thing is that is it quite a big problem, according to my bf anyway, before all of this happened with the abortion we used to argue about it for hours and never get anywhere with it, we have argued so much about it in the past that it is a problem to me because he thinks i don;t love him and don't want to have sex with him when its not that at all.at the moment hes not bringing it up because he knows that we can;t and why i don't want to.

[i.am.me]

Don't pick him up make him get a lift of his own.

Take care.

that would be funny considering he lives an hour away and would have to get the train.

[Converse]

You can get help on the NHS.

Sounds like he's playing mind games.

[i.am.me]

so if when i go to my gp i explain to him my problems he may refer me to a shrink on the NHS? is that how it works or not? I don't really know.

I hate to admit it but he alwasy seems to be playing mind games, through the whole relationship, but i do love him

[Converse]

Yeah your GP will refer you to some one, it shouldn't take too long. Explain your problems to him and don't let him just hand you anti-depressants, say you'd like to talk to some one.

If he keeps playing mind games dump him.

[i.am.me]

there is no chance i would go on anti-depressants, like prozac, they can do more harm then good sometimes.

i did go spk to him about 2 months ago actaully and told him then that i was feeling depressed alot of the time and that i didnt know why. he told me to take a pregancy test and it turned out as you already know i was pregnant. i know that increased hormones during pregnancy can make people more moody, and i wil tell you now i was very snappy and short tempered, but do u think that could still be effecting me now?

[Rosebud]

to rosebud well ive bin with my bf for 2.5 years now so it has only been with him that i've felt like this, but i think thats because of him, for example saying stuff about other girls infront of me makes me insecure about the way i am.
and the problem with the sex drive thing is that is it quite a big problem, according to my bf anyway, before all of this happened with the abortion we used to argue about it for hours and never get anywhere with it, we have argued so much about it in the past that it is a problem to me because he thinks i don;t love him and don't want to have sex with him when its not that at all.at the moment hes not bringing it up because he knows that we can;t and why i don't want to.

Ok I can't see the image you posted but that's not the point.

I know you ahve been with him over 2 years, but what you just said about all this stuff starting with him is what's going on. This is your problem! He is making you feel insecure because he's trying to manipulate you. He's telling you, that you don't love him becasue you won't sleep with him. He's looking at other girls in front of you, and he blantantly doesn't care that this other chick bothers you (whether it's justified or not) and that right there says he's only looking out for him.

I know you care about this guy but the only way your going to get your security and self esteem back is if you get rid of this guy. Now again I just gave you a few examples before but there are many things you can do for yourself. What things do you like? Maybe you can go out more with your friends and when you do, dress up and make yourself feel good about how you look and what you wear. Or dress up and just sit at home, as long as it makes you feel good!Do you get where I'm going? I'm not going to say all thet hings you can do but find things that YOU like and stop worrying so much about what he thinks! He's the one that is causing this!

[Converse]

Yeah it's possible your hormones haven't gone back to normal, so that could be it.

[Rosebud]

there is no chance i would go on anti-depressants, like prozac, they can do more harm then good sometimes.

i did go spk to him about 2 months ago actaully and told him then that i was feeling depressed alot of the time and that i didnt know why. he told me to take a pregancy test and it turned out as you already know i was pregnant. i know that increased hormones during pregnancy can make people more moody, and i wil tell you now i was very snappy and short tempered, but do u think that could still be effecting me now?

Yes!!! very much so your hormones are still trying to get back to normal!

[i.am.me]

rosebud your going to kill me now, considering i do like going out with my friends but i feel bad that i'm going out and he's not. and it seems to me like when i do go out with my friends to have a good time its sortof ruined by him because he thinks im going to cheat on him and so we sometimes end up having an argument because he thinks im lying to him about what i have done. And i'm not going to lie, males do come up to me sometimes and try to dance with me and i always turn them down basically i just want to have a good time with my mates, but he thinks that im lying about whether im danced with anyone or not

[i.am.me]

Yes!!! very much so your hormones are still trying to get back to normal!

well that would fit in nicely with that fact that i seem to want to cry over the most silly things, like a sad ending in a film, i don;t usualy do that.

[Rosebud]

That's the number one sign that he is cheating on you! If they accuse you of doing all this stuff it's mostly becasue that's what they are doing and they think your doig the same thing.

So, go out with your friends...like I said dont' worry about him, if he can't trust you, he's not worth all this time your giving him. You NEED to do things for you. Think of this way.. if you don't start doing something about this (him making you feel this way) it will continue until the only resolution you will have is to see ashrink because you will be so low you won't ever be able to pick yourself up!

Not to mention, you shouldn't be not havign fun just becasue he thinks your going to cheat which isn't even the case.

[i.am.me]

i don't think he has cheated on me though. he closest thing that happened was that he was talking to some girl on the internet and he said we had broken up and from what he tells me there wasn't really much there but it may have turned into something. I don't think he would cheat on me, but as you know i am so insecure about it so it doesn't really help matters.
He went on holiday with lots of his mates last july and i found a condom in his wallet when he came back (we didnt use that brand or condoms for that matter) but i asked him about it and he said that his friend had givne it to him, and my bf argues that at least he had it just in case but it never came to that. I don't know whether hes telling the truth or whether he had more then 1 but if he has cheated on me he is hiding it well. I have checked on him on certain occasions such as checking his messages and emails, i very like im sneaking behind his back though and i know i probably shouldn't be doing these things but i jist would never know if he had cheated on me or not.