Is love a commitment??

[my_540i]

My girlfriend and I had a pretty serious talk the other day. We both love each other very much and want to keep it that way. But she told me that she had sex with her ex boyfriend. Her excuse was that her and I werent "commited" at the time. I personally think its a crock of shit. But Ive been wrong before. Any input would be really useful. Thanks

[Innova]

True love is a commitment, its forever...its unconditional.

But even still, when you date somebody and you make an agreement like that, to go off an have sex with another..there is no excuse for...she cheated on you, and there is no excuse for cheating (Well there are rare examples, but thats anotehr subject not concerning this one).

I'd say if she is willing to leave the past behind her, and she reall does care for you, and you care for her...then by all means you make the decision. So next time you see her, stare into her eyes...and you will find your answer.

[sfalexi]

Need more info. Sex with him while you two were dating? How long were you dating when this happened? Was she in love with you when she had sex? Were you guys exclusive when this happened? Cause in my book, "girlfriend/boyfriend" terms mean exclusivity in all things.

[Illusional]

umm.. your sn, are you referring to your car? raverboy

[Pretender]

I think you should let her go. If she was really in love with you she wouldn't of had sex with another guy. It shows a big lack of respect for you to that she would sleep with another person while dating you.

Ex's can be a really big problems in relationships because they just never go away. They're always going to be "friends" and I myself have decided to never date someone who is still really close friends with their ex's because I believe you are just playing with fire and someone will get burnt.

You have to have respect for yourself and dump her. Find someone else that will treat you the way you deserve. Never settle for less.

[sfalexi]

Ex's can be a really big problems in relationships because they just never go away. They're always going to be "friends" and I myself have decided to never date someone who is still really close friends with their ex's because I believe you are just playing with fire and someone will get burnt.

There's a lot of truth in this statement. Yes there's a chance that the ex is and will always remain an ex and just a true friend, but Pretender is choosing to play it safer and just avoid the possible heartbreak. A smart move. Not one YOU have to do necessarily, but it looks like in YOUR specific case, this philosophy would have been a good one to follow.

Alexi

[my_540i]

Thanks for the replys. Yes She did tell me she loved me when she decided to sleep with her ex. Another thing is that she has a baby with her ex so she kind of has to keep in touch with him. And yes, my sn is referring to my car.

[sfalexi]

Is this the type of girl that you want then? If you can't trust her when she loves you, when can you? Especially since you know she'll be forced to keep contact with him and could easily be put in that position again (meaning one day he visits to see the kid and you're not there . . .)

Maybe this is too much baggage and not what you need right now.

[jane]

I agree with Sfalexi...

love is completely unconditional... doesnt sound like she is the right one for you.. Her X will always be there... but thats no excuse to have sex with him.

[Ironliftr3]

I agree with the previous posts, sounds like she has an attachment to her ex, an once a cheater, always a cheater.

However, I do disagree with the statememt about NOT being friends with an ex. I am still very close friends with more than one girl I have previously dated. Friends, and ONLY friends. Wouldn't go there again. Point being, once you reach a certain level of emotional maturity, and begin to know EXACTLY what you want in a person, it's much easier to end a relationship simply because the other person doesn't poses these qualities. Thus, you end the relationship on good terms, or at least with enough grace to be able to remain friends afterwards. Of course there is usually a period of 'down time' between dating and friendship, but the older I get, and the more I realize how to recognize that the person I'm involved in is just not right for me, the more I find I can remain friends with women I've dated.

[jane]

being friend with an x and having a kid are two differnet things tho..

You can be friends because sometimes there is no other connection.. the feelings are gone.. but watching a kid grow up and niether one married well... inexperienced I am yes, naive no .. if your still harboring feelings it is easy to succomb to them...