Need Help with a decison

[jamez515]

Hello all, Any help would be much appreciated. This is going to be long. I'm 16 and she is 16 also. I really like this gurl and it's been a year since i seen her. We used to go to middle school together. And toward the end of the year i told her my feelings and said she like me also but neither of us acted on our actions. 1 year later i just happened to see her online and i begin to chat. She brings up my love life and im like ohhh its nothin without you in it. I wanna finish what should have been started a long time ago. So we start to chat. Now i've had numerous relationships with many women. The longest was like 3 or 4 months.

I feel that she is playing games with me and it's wrong to be played with.. Im so angry. The first day i meet her im like ohh let's me up saturday. And she responds i can't im busy. Then the next day im like ohh let's hang out or something, and she's like i can't. So im like can i call you...So i did and we had a mad good convo. I made her laugh she made me laugh and there was no ****ing silence. Then im in the middle of one of my rantings she's like ohh i gotta go. So im like ok. The next day im so tired of so much waiting that I ask her if we're in a relationship or are we just friends. Her response was "what do you think" and im like ohh i wanna be in one and i wanna treat you correct but this not seeing each other and chatting stuff has got to go. She's like ohhhh it's been a year since we seen each other we need to get closer. So i agree.

Later into the convo she starts talking about her old boyfriend and im so heated cuz this has got to stop she always does this and it gets me so angry (this is the second time).I never talk about my old gurl friends because i feel it is disrespectful She's like ohh i was in love. Im like w/e.

Now one of my friends told me that i should tell her how I feel. But that aint gonna work, in my opinion. Cuz if she still like this guy that she's always talking about will ever she ever want me? My other friend is like leave her becuase she doesn't know what she wants And im leaning toward breaking up. But i care, kinda, and don't wanna regret my mistakes. i think about her all the time. i've failed so many test this cuz i can't concentrate and the wierd thing is that i don't this sort of stuff when i'm with a gurl. An for her act to act this way is gettin me mad, but you probably realize this already.

Now if i tell her my feelings will she be more into me and realize that she need to forget about this guy or should i stop wasting time and quit. Or should i get closer...but one cannot get closer with just chatting and talk on the phone. Although i don't see how this is going to work. And i used to know people that used to worship women and those women would just walk all over them.

[vashti]

Hello all, Any help would be much appreciated. This is going to be long. I'm 16 and she is 16 also....Now i've had numerous relationships with many women. The longest was like 3 or 4 months.
.

I stopped reading after this.
You are cute.

[jamez515]

wait i need help...

[Fluffy]

if you play with others girls' feelings, do you think that a girl could not do this with you?

[jamez515]

playin wit there feelings..i've never intentionally done this

[vashti]

You know, I was going to respond because it looks like you genuinely want some help, so I started reading your post again, and this is what I saw:

games are mad gay
Cuz if she still like this gay ass nigga
This is so gay
i used to know niggaz

So I asked myself, is a boy who speaks like this the kind of boy I would wish on a young girl? And the answer, quite frankly, is no.

Sorry.

[jamez515]

yea i've been told this before, that i tend to curse alot....i'll re edit the post...sorry i really don't mean anything by it.

I never used to curse this much...but once i hit high scool all the other kids curse alot and it sort of rubs off on me.

I should have realized that other people were going to be reading my post not just friends and some would not want to hear my frequent use of swears.

[Tone]

You're young - that's how it goes.. if you think she's playin games then move on.

[Tone]

yea i've been told this before, that i tend to curse alot....i'll re edit the post...sorry i really don't mean anything by it.

I never used to curse this much...but once i hit high scool all the other kids curse alot and it sort of rubs off on me.

I should have realized that other people were going to be reading my post not just friends and some would not want to hear my frequent use of swears.

I hope you don't curse around her!

[jamez515]

not on the phone...but online sometimes

i mean she curses also..not as much as me though

Can cursing make much of a difference??

[vashti]

16 year old girls have not had enough experience in the world to know what they want from a relationship or how to behave in one, and indeed it sounds like she doesn't know what she is doing. I don't know how talking to her about her behavior will hurt anything, but ultimately I agree with Tone - if you don't care for the way she behaves, then let her go.

[Tone]

I don't think cursing is very gentlemanly, is all.

It probably has little to do with your current situation, I was just makin a general observation.

[vashti]

not on the phone...but online sometimes

i mean she curses also..not as much as me though

Can cursing make much of a difference??

Personally, I am less offended by the cursing than the use of the words "gay nigga", but I realize that people talk this way nowadays.

[jamez515]

yea im sorry...your 100% correct in your statements....the bf that she just broke up with was like her first bf and she was head over heels for him. But i kinda understand how she feels cuz i felt the same with me first girlfriend which lasted like a couple months.

My only conern is that this always happens i break up find another and then breakup again. I think im doing something wrong by not expressing my feelings.

My friends says that i need to go the extra mile with her in order to keep her. He also said that maybe she's trying to get me jealous in order to see my real feelings although i don't think this is case.

[whaywardj]

Couple of things, James:

If everyone is doing it, whatever it is, that's probably good enough reason for you not to. Why be like eveyone else? Lose the cussing. It's not even cool, much less hip.

If anybody, girl or guy, of any age, has a habit of doing one thing to try and make another thing happen, or advises you to, lose them too. Game-playing is an utter waste of everyone's time. "Trying to get you jealous" is a game. "Who calls who first" is game. "Playing hard to get" is a game. Don't engage in any of it or anything like it. If you can't be simply straight-forward and honest about who you are and what you want and don't want without people around you giving you static over it, you probably don't need those people around.

Chill. You're a kid, man. A lot of young girls are going get in and out of your boat before you happen on -- and are ready for -- for the one who stays in it. Just accept what they offer and don't ask them for more than can comfortably give. When it comes time for them to move on, let 'em go. It's gonna happen over and over again for a while. Get used to it.

FWIW