can't tell him that i like him...so much

[pinkpuca84]

okay..i know i already posted some threads about this...but seriously, this has been bothering me for quite sometimes now...i like this guy very much, actually...he's my first love, and even tho i had boyfriends in the past, i still like him no matter what. now that i'm currently single, i wanna tell him that i like him, but i just dont have the courage. cos he's very shy, and rite now, i am just so lucky that he regards me as his best friend. I'm afraid that if i tell him what i really feel, he would hate me, and avoid me.

cos the timing is just not right, at the moment. we currently live in different country, his mum is sick, and he's just started a new job that requires alot of work. i really really wanna tell him...but i cant bear the possibility that he might avoid me later on, if he doesnt feel the way that i do...(okay...how do i sound now? pathetic?) i can tell u, he's not the type of guy who can easily assume that a girl likes him just by being nice to him. especially because he knows that i'm nice to everybody. and that i am his best friend. so it's really possible that he only think that everything that i do or say to him, is only because i care about him as my bestfriend. i just dont know what else to do....i dont have the courage to tell him. i'm just sooo damn scared. i never felt this way before....i dont know whats wrong with me. in the past, i told a guy that i liked him. but now, why cant i do it again??? why is it so hard???

what should i do? i dont wanna lose him as my friend when he knows that i like him more than that....what should i do??

[dono]

First of all, just chill out, and take a breather. 10 deep breaths. In my mind you have the following two options. 1) You tell him how you feel, and then listen to what he has to say about it. And 2) you don't say anything, and move on. I wanted to present those two choices so you could make one and proceed. The long you wait, the harder everything is going to get. You mentioned that you two were in seperate countries. What countries might I ask? That may be the deciding factor, long distance relationships are very hard to keep up in most cases. Oh, and how old are you?

[Tone]

Grr STOP making multiple threads about the EXACT same situation... just update your other thread(s)...

[JohnMalkovich]

Don't be afraid, if he is really your best friend this shouldn't ruin you friendship.
I don't think this is the right time, though - quite the opposite. Wait until you live closer to him if that's anytime soon, and for his mom to get better. Be a good friend meanwhile.
Another thing on your mind is how to tell him. There are many ways you can go about this. Two of which are:
1. You tell him early on. If he doesn't feel the same way you cut your losses early.
2. You wait until you get even closer to him and perhaps his feelings develop for you to the point where he has to tell you/show you how he feels and becomes transparent. At the same time, if he doesn't develop those feelings for you, you're at a greater loss.
Now you have to decide - how much are you willing to sacrifice?

[Off2College]

jeez. ur a girl. ur 10x better off than guys in the same situation. and the guys suck it up eventually and go ahead with their feelings.

[xwfuro]

if you have this much feelings (obviously you do bc of how many damn posts youve made) tell him but then add in the part of how you dont want it to effect your friendship values, sounds like hes going thorugh a stresful time right now so dont expect some amazing answer from him and him to swoop your off your feet, but plain and simple you have to say something otherwise its gonna ruin your life.

if he is your best friend he wont take it in a negitive way, he will smile upon it.

DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!

[Off2College]

besides, heres something that i'll keep in mind when i find out my university decisions in 17days..

There IS a life after rejection!

look, you'll get rejected, but just remember i'll probably get rejected from half the schools i apply too...

[daisy]

Don't be afraid, if he is really your best friend this shouldn't ruin you friendship.

I'm not sure. If the guy knows that the girl loves him, he wouldn't discuss many of his problems anymore. Just they both would feel themselves not as before. I think their friendship may finish because of it.

[JohnMalkovich]

If by "his problems" you mean, him telling her how hot that girl was that he saw last night, than yes, he might stop telling her about those "problems." But does she really want to hear that anyway. There will be some change, but it shouldn't ruin the relationship. It all depends on how strong the friendship is, and how much history they have; that was my point.

And it's not always the person who didn't return the feelings that ruins the relationship. I had a very good friend of mine - we weren't best friends, but we were getting pretty close. She thought of me as more than a friend - I didn't see it coming. She told me and I was shocked - I had no idea she had those feelings. I told her that I wanted her as a friend....she got upset. Then she started avoiding me. I tried to talk to her. We saw each other, but she said it was hard for her to see me - because it hurts - she gets attached. I didn't know what to say and didn't understand it. I still tried to get our friendship back, but it didn't work; her feelings got in the way. I can't believe she did that. It's so immature! I lost a good friend because of this.