A weird journey this weekend..

[Journey]

OK I'm a 30 yr-old guy and my good female friend had a party this weekend, which she invited me to a week ago. She wanted me to meet her friend who she goes to school with. So I went to the party and I really liked her.
After the party we ended up going back to her place and one thing led to another and we did it. This is the first time I have ever met someone and did it on the first night, but it was really great. I left early on Saturday morning, and we exchanged numbers and I set up a date to meet her for dinner on Sunday night.
On Saturday evening I called her to reschedule dinner for Monday night because I forgot about my dance class on Sunday. She never returned my call, but on Sunday I got a text message from her saying that her ex-boyfriend returned. I text messaged her back saying that if ever she was single again I would really like to see her.
She called later and explained to me that her ex-boyfriend came to see her on Saturday - crying and telling her how much he loved her bla bla bla .. she could'nt say no to him. Anyways she wants to be friends with me, and invited me out to lunch next week with the girl that invited me to the party. I told her that I didn't want to be friends because I am looking for a girlfriend.
I am kind of confused about what happened. I wish I could see her and be with her. My girlfriend who had the party I have known for so long, and would never set me up with someone who would just be out for sex. Anyways I have never slept with girls on the first night before but maybe thats where I went wrong. If I had not slept with her maybe I would have had a chance.
On the other hand I can't help feeling like I may have been played too - because she really wanted to have sex with me (ie. going to the bathroom and coming out wearing basically nothing). Anyways, help me out here. I don't get it.

[PTC03]

You may have jumped the gun having sex right away, but I don't think that was what made things turn out as they did. She was probably just not ready to move on from her ex. Sometimes it's hard to let go of an old relationship. It sounds like it wasn't your fault at all. Don't blame yourself.

[BlueRaven]

I don't know man. I've got one suggestion though, just listen to some Journey music. That should make you feel better. Always works for me.

[Journey]

I don't know man. I've got one suggestion though, just listen to some Journey music. That should make you feel better. Always works for me.

It always works for your too.. very glad to hear that. "Be good to yourself".

Journey

[XPixiedustX]

yeah I think you got used, maybe your girlfriend just didn't know how horny this other girl was...unless how was the sex? were you any good? cuz if you sucked...lol just a thought.....Then again it's also possible she just hadn't had sex in a while, and women do hit their sexual peak in their thirties...

[BlueRaven]

It always works for your too.. very glad to hear that. "Be good to yourself".

Yep, Journey songs never get old. Ever.

[Journey]

Anyways, I forgot to mention something. When we talked on the phone, she said to me that she wished she had met me earlier because she thinks I am better than her boyfriend (former ex), that I am so handsome etc.. but that the reason she could’nt say no to her boyfriend is because she was with him for a while and has feelings for him.
I also heard from my friend that set us up, that she thinks I am wonderful, amazing etc.. that I’m a ‘dream boy’ and that all she said was ‘oh my god…wow’. We had an AWESOME time, and I have been in a few long term relationships before and this sex was gooood. That’s what I felt and that's what I heard from the friend who set us up - my good friend would not lie to me.
Anyways when she invited me to lunch next weekend with the friend that introduced us, she told me she wanted to be friends. I said that I needed to think about it. I called her later that night and asked her why she did’nt want to go to lunch next weekend with her boyfriend. She said that she wanted to go with me. I said that I am looking for a girlfriend and I did’nt accept her lunch invitation.

I then thought about it, and I called her back and left a message later that night. I said that I was sorry for what I said earlier. I also said, “Even though I felt a strong connection to you we just met and I don’t really know you that well at all, so I can’t say that I would like to be your boyfriend and I’m sure that you can’t say that you would like to be my girlfriend. I think it’s a good idea to be friends and hang out.”
Anyways I wonder what impact that message has, because let’s face it her ex-boyfriend is back. Does it show that I am not confident by accepting to be friends? I don't think so, because we just met and we were only together for one night. I think it was OK to leave that message, because we can get to know each other and she knows what we had together in the sack. I just can't beleive that she'd want to put me in the friends category after that..
Anyways being friends with her is OK right? .. As long as I let her know that I’m not waiting around for her - that I’m on the market and that I’m still actively looking for a girlfriend?

[clynn]

Sure, being friends with her is alright. It was just a one night stand, a 'fling', so to speak.

You clearly aren't cut out for such casual activities. It is a good thing to learn that about yourself, so you can be sure to steer clear of it in the future.

I don't think you did anything wrong, and neither did she. But she clearly isn't over her boyfriend.

[Journey]

Sure, being friends with her is alright. It was just a one night stand, a 'fling', so to speak.

You clearly aren't cut out for such casual activities. It is a good thing to learn that about yourself, so you can be sure to steer clear of it in the future.

I don't think you did anything wrong, and neither did she. But she clearly isn't over her boyfriend.

Wow Clynn, I think you nailed it on the head. Anyways we spoke again on the phone today after I had an revelation while working out in the gym..lol. I said that I am totally OK with what happened - that I understand completely and that I am not upset - that I would like to be friends and hang out. She then totally opened up and explained it to me.
Its true though - somehow I felt today, after a good night's sleep, that damn everything's cool, and that I am collected enough to accept the situation. I feel so much better now and I think that she thinks better of me too - that I have the confidence to move on so quickly after what hapenned and once again look for that special someone. Dooont stop beleeeeeeeeiiiiiivin.. hold on to that feeeeeeeelin!
Journey

[TAVS]

Keep at it Journey and if this girl leads to any type of suffering on your end; leave her in the dust. IF you can be friends and it doesn't bother you then great; I bet you end up together real soon; but if it hurts, watch out for yourself.