Don't know what to think

[nebulachic]

My b/f's best friend (and the one I met first of the 2 of them) has been dating a woman for a long time. His friend has always felt suspicious of my b/f and her. The couple has been on the verge of breaking up for the past few months. My b/f was constantly being contacted by both of them a while back giving both of them advice.

One day I asked his best friend how things were going. During the conversation he inidicated his suspicions. I got concerned and told my b/f later. He told me his friend has always been this way about other guys too and is just extremely jealous. My b/f ended up calling his best friend on it and cut of communication with both he and his g/f and said he was tired of being in the middle and his jealousy was now poisoning our relationship.

Recently my b/f's friend made a comment to my b/f about how his g/f is probably going to be available soon. Later in a phone call to me he mentioned the same. This got me riled up again and I brought it up to my b/f again. He told me I have nothing to worry about she is just a really good friend and even if there was an interest he would never pursue it because of his friend. I asked him if he thinks she is interested in him "I don't think so" he said. My b/f talks to the woman on the phone quite often and she lives 5 minutes from him. He said he is trying to keep a low profile from his friend lately that he has any contact with her.

I met her once briefly. I found out her # and decided to call her a few weeks back. I told her who I was and that I had to ask her something awkward. She cut me off and said: "Please don't tell me you're going to ask if I'm having an affair with (my b/f). I'm doing everything in my power right now to get back together with (my b/f's best friend)." I asked her if she could please reassure me there is nothing to worry about. She kind of grasped for words but then kind of retracted it and replaced it with: "Even if there were an attraction we would never pursue anything because of our love for (my b/f's best friend)." I asked her to please keep our conversation between the 2 of us and she agreed.

I didn't tell my b/f I talked to her but one day asked him if his best friend and she did break up and his friend moved away would he go after her then. He said "I have no 'interested' in her." 'INTERESTED'.... that's the word he used by 'accident'. Somehow it bothers me that both my b/f and her overriding answer is they would never get involved out of their love for my b/f's best friend.

Well the shit hit the fan last night. My b/f called me last night and said he knows (through the woman) that I have been calling his best friend the past few weeks. (she told him there was a component to the whole thing he didn't know about). I didn't deny it "Yes. I didn't realize I had to report to you when I called him just like you told me you shouldn't have to tell me when you've stopped by and seen or called her." He asked why I just didn't trust what he said about her. "I don't know any of you all that well. I haven't known what to believe and was trying to get to the bottom of it!" I also told him I called her a few weeks ago too. I think this pissed him off a lot bcuz he got very curt after and said he might not want to get together this weekend.

Anyone have opinions/suggestions?

[StephMarie]

That is quite a situation. In my experience it seems as though what your gut is telling you is usually the truth.

Just follow your instincts and heart.

[King Zarathu]

Perhaps he is, perhaps he isn't. You have only given us reasons to make it seem like he is, so who here really knows the truth?

You obviously don't trust him, so leave. Period.

[clynn]

It seems like it may already be on its way out by now.
He seems pretty upset.

You don't trust him, and probably for a reason.

[XPixiedustX]

We really can't know wether or not your boyfriend is cheating, however I must say, it seems pretty obvious they are somwhat interested in each other...The most important issue here is that you don't trust him, and once the trust disappears it's pretty much all downhill for a relationship. If it's that difficult for you to trust him then either something is really up, or your just being paranoid.

[nebulachic]

My b/f wrote his friend a 4 page letter. He let me read it. He told his friend his accusations are absurd and he is really mad his friend made the comments to me that he did and that he is in love with me.. not his g/f. He expressed his anger about the situation but also said he wants to sit down and talk face-to-face with his friend after he digests the letter. They have been friends for 20+ years and he wants to clear the air and not lose the friendship.

[Gigabitch]

Glad he did that, because the whole thing is between them, not you, and not even the other girl.

However, he never did give you a satisfactory answer about her, did he?

What do you think about that?