I've been dating a separated guy for 8 mos. He's been separated for 3 years but lives 5 minutes from the wife and been in close contact with her all along because of a 16 yr old son (particularly since he got out of rehab-the son). He's dated a few other women before me but says our connection is much more.
One day about 5 mos into it I asked him if he ever considers me as his next life partner (not necessarily marriage). He said "Of course I do! It's only natural to think of the person you're with! But I can't make any promises right now." I was kind of shocked because he had been telling me how in love he was with me since the 2nd month. He said "I'm not saying I'm going to run out and screw every woman I see {I had expressed concern about that}. But I am going to be picky and ask a lot of questions. That's why I've been asking you a lot of questions. I don't want to make another mistake." About a week later we talked about it again. He said "I/we don't know how we're going to feel about this relationship after I have all my freedom back. I can't give you any guarantees."
"Well what is the worst case scenario?" I asked. "That we'd realize we are going down different paths and mutually decide to end it" he said.
OK.. that was 3 months ago. He has been telling me since he didn't mean anything negative by his comments. He even agreed to see my shrink about (after I had already told him she was more on his side though after hearing about the situation). I haven't felt trusting toward him since he said it though and our connection has been lacking because of it but he did start divorce proceedings earlier this month and is hoping it will be done in 4 months. After the first meeting he asked how I was feeling about it.
Is there really any way I could have taken his statements in a positive light like he keeps insisting????