That first kiss...

[google3000]

Hello forum,

Before I go on I am 30 years old and the lady I am seeing is 32, so jumping her like a teenager is not really an option! lol.

Anyway, I have been on one date with her and she wants to see me again and there was a kiss on the cheek good bye at the end of our first date and she made me promise to call her, which I did, so I can safely assume she is interested.

Our first date ended with me dropping her off at school so she could collect her children.....not a problem.... but obviously not the right time for anything more than a kiss on the cheek there!

Also romantic nights out are a bit tricky because she cant get babysitters....none of this bothers me by the way and I can understand that she probably does not want to introduce me to her children just yet....so going round to her house is out of the question at the moment too.

So basically, for now anyway, our dates will be sort of afternoons together and lunch and that sort of thing.

No doubt some of the younger readers are wondering if its worth the effort, but when you get to 30ish women tend to have children.

So...exactly how can I get past all this to actually kiss her for the first time....I am sure the second date is acceptable to try for that first proper kiss right?....but in the daytime after going for lunch in town or something just seems a bit of a tricky time to do it.

I might sound a bit silly here but I was married for ten years and only just started dated again after that ended....I have not dated anybody since I was 18 when the rules were a bit different....so its all pretty new to me at the moment....but I do really like this girl and I dont want to mess it up by being too forward or simply too slow!

Thanks :-)

x

[sweet_thing23]

I just recently started dating after ending a 7 year marriage myself so I know ALL about your situation. I have kids also. I am dating someone now and when we were first getting to know each other, I would invite him over to watch a movie or whatever after the kids had gone to bed. Not sure if that is an option for you at all? Or perhaps go for a walk around a park or lake (or ocean depending on where you live) it can tend to be more private and romantic, you can hold hands etc, maybe have a picnic lunch? Then go in for the kiss! Hope this helps some! And good for you for dating a women with kids, single moms need love too!

[google3000]

Thank you.

You have definitely given me some good ideas there!

I live in Central London so finding a quiet spot can be difficult...but I know some nice parks our of town to walk around that have some quiet spots ;-)

I'm not sure if she would feel comfortable inviting me back to her flat yet.

I would love her to come to my place but she doesn't like coming into Central London and finding child minders is difficult for her as she has no family living locally.....so I don't think thats going to happen!

Thank you for the advice though, you have given me a good idea for our second date :-)

xxx

[Larna81]

Good luck google3000!

Feel free to let us know how you go

[blackiesharley]

I have a bit of a similar situation with my G/F. I think it really just takes being patient. Mine is breaking me in VERY slowly to her kids (which I agree is right) so when we're around the kids we act like Brother and Sister. When we do have that rare moment alone, well, let's just say we're very much 'together - together.'

You know what though? I'd rather be with someone who I can't be with all the time but I love and I feel loves me (like this girl) and a possible future than someone who I don't care about who's foot loose and fancy free with no responsibilites.

It's frustrating, I know. I know very well but some things are worth waiting for. Sounds like she's really into you. Good luck.

[Gigabitch]

Yup. What he said. Women with kids sometimes take it reeeeeally slow.

If she's really into you, though, she'll line up a babysitter sometime soon for you two to go on a real date.

[google3000]

Gigabitch

Strange you should say that...the email I got off her tonight read....after some small talk before this bit....

"Unless there is something very exciting in the evening you'd like me to do with u,
then I would arrange a sleep over for xxxx (her daughters name).

Anyway speak to u soon,

xxxx (her name)"

Hopefully she is really into me then...with a bit of luck anyway!

[blackiesharley]

Yup. What he said. Women with kids sometimes take it reeeeeally slow.

The responsible ones do, you're right.

And if they didn't they wouldn't be the type of woman I'd want to be involved with in the long run. The kids must come first, I've accepted that and have in fact told her pretty much in those exact words.

Her words:

'You and I can go 100mph but around the kids, it's the sloooow lane.' Makes sense.

Google, looking at it as an outsider it's obvious from what you've said that she's into you. Just remember that dating a single Mother is a whole different dynamic than dating someone with no obligations.

I'm 50 YO. Two marriages, countless relationships and yet I've never been seriously involved with a single Mom before. It's uncharted waters for me and I mentioned to my GF something to the effect of 'You're at the wheel of that area of our relationship, you're the coach, I'll follow along.'

So far, she say's I'm doing a 12 on a 1 -10 scale.

[google3000]

Thank you Blackiesharley.

And be rest assured I am not entering into this (potential) relationship with rose tinted spectacles :-)

[google3000]

Now I am even more confused!...or rather I am feeling like an idiot.

I am beginning to think I understand girls even less than I thought.

Anyway, we went out on our night out for dinner and a few drinks.

We seemed to get along quite well and I thought we had a nice night.

Then the end of the evening came...and again nothing more than a kiss on the cheek.

That moment for a proper kiss just didn't seem right, if you know what I mean?!?!

Well, she lives on the very edge of London and I had actually missed my underground train (because I didn't want to suddenly cut the night short) so I had to get a taxi home.

When we left each others company I asked her if she would like to see me again and she said "maybe....or maybe not"

Being typically English I took this as the maybe not and thought "OK, I can take a hint"....the next morning (not expecting to hear anything from her ever again) I got a text message saying "Good morning my angel, I hope you got home OK?"

I replied "Yes i got home fine, but I missed the last train so had to get a cab, but the night with you was worth it"

Then she sent me one back saying "you should have phoned me you could have stayed at my place"

Arrggghhhhh!....Perhaps I am really bad at reading the signals....I knew I was out of practice but I didn't think I was that bad at it!

She is from the Czech Republic and she is not British so maybe I think humour (and perhaps attraction as British girls are maybe more forward?!?!) is being lost in translation sometimes....now I just feel like a plonker for not spotting that she did want me to kiss her and go back to her place after all.

Bugger......with a bit of luck I have not blown it completely.