Is this true for most men?

[Draconis]

I just got told last night a few things my ex had a problem with with me. One was that no matter how shitty he treated me and how frustraited and pissed I got I would never once go off at him. He told a friend of ours that he has been waiting for the day I tell him to f*@# off and die. He was also treating me like crap to get me to break it off with him beings HE was the one who had to break up with me the last 2 times. Sorry but that is immature to me...and he was saying I was immature.

Anyways, so is that true with most men? Would you all rather have a girl that would scream and yell at you rather than sit back and talk things out and think about what to say rather than just saying it and risking hurt feelings?

Cuz I'm a laid back type, I avoid conflict as much as I can. I hate to fight, I have never blown up on anyone besides my mother. I grew up in a family that fought alot and yelling never did anything but upset the other person more and things were thrown and tempers just went through the roof. Therefore, even if Im around anyone yelling or b*tching about something I get stressed. So unless he were to hit me or cheat on me he isn't ever going to get the satisfaction of me cussing him out at all.

I just don't understand why on earth anyone would want thier significant other to be that angry at them and provoke it! Is he just that strange? I know he's stranger than most men out there but I couldn't believe some of the things my friend said he told her.

[vashti]

I think he would like to see if you have a backbone. People who avoid conflict at all costs are generally seen as weak pushovers rather than someone to be admired, and often they do not have clearly established boundaries. Everyone should have clearly defined boundaries.

[Draconis]

I have boundaries but with him it was always hard to talk to him about things. He never fought for our relationship and he never expressed his feelings either. I fought with him once on my 21st birthday and showed him my backbone. He just apparently wanted me to actually yell and tell him to f*@# off I don't cuss people out. My sister and mother was always a nutjob in relationships. My sister knocked out her boyfriends 4 front teeth once, threw a squash at the front door and broke the glass out.
It's the situations I've been around AND my personality that makes me a calm person around people. I have a temper and I don't show it. Because if I did go off on him about somthing I'd probably end up hurting myself physically over it to get the agression out. I've punched walls and pulled hair out and all but not in anyones presence. And to me if I showed my agression and anger that much infront of people, to me THAT is weak because I am not able to control myself and emotions. This is just for me though, everyone is different but for me it would be weak if I let it my anger out in ill form.
I can understand what your saying about why he might think that but I figured with a couple past experiences he wouldn't expect that I'd just go completely insane one day.

[Gigabitch]

I can understand his frustration with the Brick Wall Effect. I've found that guys kinda like it when I yell at them. It's not scary for most guys if their SO loses her temper (except for your sister's bf- yikes to that), because we're just not that physically threatening.

Isn't there some way you could express yourself without losing control? And I think you should try telling him to go **** himself. It's really gratifying.

[Draconis]

Hell I'm tempted to right now cuz I found out that he thought the only reason I went back out with him was because of sex. He should have known me better than that. We've known each other for over 6 years now...close to 7.
I really just want to completely forget all the crap between us and our failed attempts and just move on and eventually build back our friendship. hopefully I don't end up hearing anything else that pisses me off.
And i know that some people on here will say "just stop being friends and ex's cant be friends" and stuff like that. But see his family is pretty much my family and I can't let them go and they can't let me go and I won't so it's kinda hard not to stay friends.

[Gigabitch]

I don't think men and women can be friends.... except for exes. I'm friends with some of my exes. it can work.

[Draconis]

well, men and women in general can be friends. I'm friends with plenty of men and have been for 6 years or more and have no attraction to them. Some have been attracted to me but as long as it's clear I don't want anything more than a friendship eveything is cool and we've remained friends.
It all basically depends on each and every person. And yeah I've stayed friends with a couple ex's but one I got back with 2 times...the one mentioned in my post. And the other I broke up with and now 3 1/2 years later I have feelings for him again. Just seeing how everything works out at the moment....
Other ex's I could have remained friends with if I didn't hate them after the break up One I am actually kinda friends with him AND his girlfriend and I photograph her sometimes. She's cool as hell....so I agree it can work.

[King Zarathu]

Just the fact that you had to break up with him several times deems the relationship unworthy of your time. The fact that you got back together with him (how many times?) deems vashti unworthy of Gigabitch's time.

[vashti]

The fact that you got back together with him (how many times?) deems vashti unworthy of Gigabitch's time.

Huh? Do I have to go back and read all these posts to find out what you are talking about?

[King Zarathu]

Yes. While you're at it, go outside and tell me whether or not the weather is nice.

[Sinsemilla]

I don't think men and women can be friends.... except for exes. I'm friends with some of my exes. it can work.

That is just bullshit, one of my best friends is a women, it all depends on the personality...

Back on the subject

You say he doesn't treat you right?, then why are you still with him?
He doesn't deserve your attention

[vashti]

I don't think men and women can be friends....

I agree. Unless they are gay.

[King Zarathu]

I don't think men and women can be friends....

With you on that one. I find myself disgusted for talking to a female that I'm not attracted to, or disgusted with myself because I'm not dating a female I am attracted to. Oh well--there's something I have to do about this "vashti" chick.

[Gigabitch]

I agree. Unless they are gay.

I concur. Very true.

Is skaterboy high?

[vashti]

I concur. Very true.

Is skaterboy high?

I think he forgot to take his ADD medication today.