my odd ex

[Fitzavig]

I'm new here so I'm not entirely sure if this is the best board for this topic. Sorry if it isn't. Anyways.

My ex broke up with me over a month ago for her ex. We ended up fighting pretty badly over stuff and didn't talk to each other for a month. We more or less made amends on a forum, but she still had me blocked. A week or so after that, when her bf left (they're still together tho), she unblocked me. I'm talking the second day or so afterwards.

So I don't say anything because I'm unsure if she just wants to rant at me or what. She talks the second or third day after unblocking me and we become friends again.

It's a bit rocky at times and we've had some drama too recently, but it's just odd. I mean, she pretty much became my friend almost instantly. She didn't even ease herself into it much. We're almost as good as friends as before we went out.

One thing has really made me wonder though. Maybe it's nothing special but there was one night where she made some comments that don't really go together (they were unprovoked too). I'll copy & paste what she said for you guys since it's easier:

You bug me.
Just thought you should know that.
[I ask why I bug her]
Because you do
[Ask what I did to upset her]
You didn't.
You just bug me.
[goes into a big thing about how she hates these trivial things about me. Like how I dress for instance and how I "prod information" out of her. How she's disgusted by what relationship we've had and that she ever liked me.]
But I still keep you on my MSN list....
because I like to talk to you sometimes.
And you do amuse me sometimes.
[irrelevant chatter for a bit]
I also hate how I keep you on my MSN list even thought you bug me.
*sigh*
I don't get myself.


So I'm wondering, why is it such a pain for her to not delete me from msn and just ignore me? She says she hates me so much so it should be easy for her. If you guys need anymore info, feel free to ask. I could write a small book about all that's happened...

[Crunor]

I'd tell her to fvck off, why are you taking all that shit from her?

[vashti]

I agree. She sounds like a b*tch who is toying with you, and you keep going back for more. Without saying "because I love her", tell me why you do this to yourself...

[Fitzavig]

see, that's the thing. She said that, but then went on with a normal convo. It's not like she was trying to piss me off, but vent moreso. She even offered me a chance to say what bugs me about her. I'm not saying she's a great person by any means, but this could be considered somewhat out of context I think (this stuff is just the tip of the iceberg of our past, friends or otherwise).

she's ok with being my friend, even though I've done stuff that should've made her just block me again, but she hasn't. Why she tolerates me is what I'm wondering. She's even invited me along to do things with her friends and has helped me out on things without my asking (like job hunting). We're almost getting along as well as before we were dating (and we were really good friends)

And also, I take offense at someone accusing me of loving her. Say what you will, but I'm not desperate enough to want her back. And if she wants to be a bitch, I just attack right back. We're not afraid of fighting, that's for sure.

My one friend who is pretty knowledgeable about this stuff has some wild theory, but I'm not bent on believing it like he is. Altho he was right about some things which caught me off guard.

[vashti]

We can only give advice based on the info you post, and based on the info you posted, she sounds like she is mean. Of course, you might tolerate her being mean because it makes you feel nicer, and then this would be the price you are willing to pay to make yourself feel like a good guy.

All relationships (romantic or otherwise) exist because each person gets something from the other, and I don't mean physical or monetary "things". You need to figure out what it is you are gaining from this relationship and let her worry about what she is gaining from it. She is obviously getting something, and so are you - even if it is unhealthy.

[Fitzavig]

That is very true about relationships. And I've learned the hard way that being a nice person is overrated so no worries about that...

As for what we're gaining from each other, it sounds like it may be the same. The way she described it, it sounds almost exactly the same as what bothers me. We both find reasons to hate each other (no matter how valid they are) to fuel our hatred of the other one, but can't just ignore the other for some unknown reason.

And I *hate* it because I would like nothing better than to be rid of her. So I'm wondering if I figure out her reason, maybe it'll give me some insight as to mine.

[vashti]

It is not hard to get rid of someone. You just say something like "this friendship is no longer giving me what I need to maintain my interest, and I'm sick of putting up with your abuse. Stop calling me, and I'll do likewise".

But I don't think you really want to do that. or else you would have by now.

[bugmenot]

id tell her to piss of! she's just messing you about and being a bitch to boot!

[mini696]

She's confused... After breaking up with her BF she goes back to you because you are easy. She can talk to you without actually having to worry about anything going furthur (she can pull out the "we arent together anymore" line).

You bug me.
Just thought you should know that.
[I ask why I bug her]
Because you do
[Ask what I did to upset her]
You didn't.
You just bug me.
[goes into a big thing about how she hates these trivial things about me. Like how I dress for instance and how I "prod information" out of her. How she's disgusted by what relationship we've had and that she ever liked me.]
But I still keep you on my MSN list....
because I like to talk to you sometimes.
And you do amuse me sometimes.
[irrelevant chatter for a bit]
I also hate how I keep you on my MSN list even thought you bug me.
*sigh*
I don't get myself.

She says this because you DO bug her... She must be thinking about you cos she likes you, but also know how you made her feel when you were going out together... No wonder she is confused, only just breaking up with you, and then her lasest ex, and now you are allowing her to explore her feelings for you again.

Unless you want her back, maybe just leave her alone.

[jasonv7]

you should move on, its very hard to let go of a person if you still have communication with her... your situation is confusing, its like your relationship is stuck in the middle... probably thats why both of you doesnt understand your feelings.

[Fitzavig]

Eh, the two of us are getting along fairly well. Nothing special from what I can tell, just a typical friendship. Although online last night, she brought up that guys keep hitting on her. It was like she was subtly bragging or something. It got annoying.

We also have this joke about me being a robot (almost a year old joke) and she seemed fond of bringing that up a lot as well. That I didn't mind so much since it's admittedly funny. lol

Not sure what my third paragraph was going to be about, but I need one anyways so here.

[Fitzavig]

How's this for irony? I just talk about how well we got along last night and now she's pissed at me for some unknown reason.

Here's the laydown of what happened:

We have fun chatting last night, joking about various things. Typical friend stuff, nothing weird there. Then today rolls around. We get online like we usually do, but I don't talk to her for at least an hour (nothing abnormal there). I was busy and don't usually bug her like that. I go bicycle for a couple miles, come back and decide to message her. Nothing special, just a "moo" (it pretty much means "hi"). Then she types in caps to "GET THE F### AWAY FROM ME," and immediately blocks me (again).

So yea, I'm curious why the sudden change of heart? I mean, we're just friends, I didn't do anything to upset her (that I know of) and then she just snaps at me like that? It makes about as much sense to me as a mariachi band comprised of lemurs. Any thoughts?

[Fitzavig]

You seem to miss the part where I don't want to be with her. I don't care about her anymore than a friend (in fact, less than some), and I'm guessing moving on means you don't feel pain about it anymore and don't want them back. In that case, I'm completely over her. But I have a terrible amount of curiosity about how people act so I wanted to see what you guys think since I'm not so smart on this stuff.

Call it a fascination with how odd she's acting. The weirder a person acts, the more it makes me wonder. And this is about as weird as it gets for me. There is no "love" or "caring" for her at this point in time. I don't get why her being my friend was such a hassle, but she needs to grow up.

So don't worry people, I'm not gonna bother her and all that crap. I just want to see why she's acting so randomly. My only guess is PMS, XD

[Fitzavig]

I can tell how that'd end without talking to her. She'll say she hates me or something and just brush me off in a bitchy way. We've gone through it before. At least last time she had a reason (us arguing), but this time she doesn't have one at all.

Any other ideas? She's deleted me from msn so I'm betting she doesn't wanna talk.

[Fitzavig]

Yea, it's about time I stop wasting effort on her friendship. She needs to seek immediate psychiatric help too. If not for her own sake, then for the sake of those in her life.