Should I be upset about this or not?

[blackiesharley]

I was gonna ask if Xmas girl had stopped living iwth her ex. Apparently, yes - but is moving back in with him. Yah, fair enough - doesn't sound like she is exactly available.

I'm happy to hear you and new orleans girl have a fun weekend planned. Yes, treasure is definitely a build up to love.

I think she is wise to not rush. Rushing can add unnecessary pressure and artificial situations that make things complicated.

Yeah, again Xmas girl is history and in a way I'm sorry about that. To this day though I will say she's basically a good person that means well, but she can't let go of the ex. I have no interest what-so-ever at this point. She's a very confused lady.

N/O Gal ? - She hasn't canceled yet. (at least at this moment) Couple of nice 'lite' funny emails from her this morning. I'm still not holding my breath though for the weekend. She's the queen of last minute cancelations.

Ever like somebody a whole lot and dislike them at the same time?

[clynn]

I think that is love.?????

[blackiesharley]

I think that is love.?????

Sadly, you're probably right.

[clynn]

Ahhh, your visit will happen.

Her cancellations have all seemed pretty legitimate.

Have fun! Whoo hoo!

[clynn]

Ahhh, your visit will happen.

Her cancellations have all seemed pretty legitimate.

Have fun! Whoo hoo!

[blackiesharley]

Ahhh, your visit will happen.

Her cancellations have all seemed pretty legitimate.

Have fun! Whoo hoo!

Nope, she's a whack job. Last few communications went like this (her quotes):

'I'm bringing the girls bicycles, the girls will enjoy riding, it's such a great neighborhood for kids''

'I've bought little flash lights so the girls can find tree frogs in the backyard'

Be sure to pick up enough wine for the beach, and (some ingrediants) and I'll make that cheese dip that you like. Don't forget the chips.'

'I know you bought fireworks, but maybe it's a good idea to check with the Police to see if it's legal in the backyard. (I already had and it is) I don't want to ruin our week by spending it in jail. LOL'

All lite chatting, laughter, excitement. That was Tuesday afternoon. Since then...

RADIO SILENCE. She won't pick up the phone in the office (caller ID?) Can't get through on the cell, it answers on the first ring and goes to voice mail. (call blocking?) Left two messages and two emails, nothing.

During the last conversation there were NO unkind words, NO conflict or anything like that. Just two people planning and looking forward to a joyous weekend together.

If she would just call and give me one of her usual chicken-shit excuses that would be better than disapearing off the face of the Earth. Rude, immature, disrespectfull and un-warranted. Short of death or major illness there's no excuse.

Did she meet someone else? Possibly of course, but within 24 hours? An ex? Nah, highly unlikely. Sick kid? She would call me. Simply dumping me? Possible but she sure changed her mind quick, remember, this was all her idea. I'm almost thinking that she has a sadistic streak where she enjoys hurting people. Or maybe my suspicions were right...She's on a coke binge. Who knows?

Something is terribably wrong with this picture. Like a friend said 'Yeah, she's IN it.'

Roller-coasters were never one of my favorite rides. This has gone far enough. BEYOND far enough in fact. Her loss.

[vashti]

Blackie, I think you may be overreacting. She is the mother of a couple of kids, and she has a life. It has only been one day without contact. Sheesh.

You guys ought to set a schedule of phone call days/times.

[blackiesharley]

Blackie, I think you may be overreacting. She is the mother of a couple of kids, and she has a life. It has only been one day without contact. Sheesh.

You guys ought to set a schedule of phone call days/times.

No, it's been three days. The longest we've gone since we met seven months ago. Something's fishy...

[vashti]

Ahh, I misunderstood since you suggested she may have met someone within 24 hours.

[blackiesharley]

Ahh, I misunderstood since you suggested she may have met someone within 24 hours.

I see your point, sorry I kinda mis-spoke on that. It would be 72 hours. Still kinda fast.

[lollerskater]

no .

[blackiesharley]

Ahhh, your visit will happen.

Her cancellations have all seemed pretty legitimate.

Have fun! Whoo hoo!

I'll admit it... You're right, I'm wrong. She drove over last night.

Going to the beach with the twins in a few hours, then barbequing tonight, fireworks tommorrow night. Should be a blast and baring any unforseen problems, very healthy for our relationship.

As much as I love them, it's a little akward around the girls though as we've agreed not to display any affection towards each other in front of them. I fully understand that they need to be 'broken in slowly' for lack of a better term. That's cool.

And she explained the 'radio silence.' I accepted her explantion as she drove 3.5 hours to get here and IMHO actions speak louder than words.

Happy and safe 4th everybody!

[BrianK]

Hey blackiesharley,

Hows it going? any better than before? I hope all is better I've been very lucky myself

take care dude

[Gigabitch]

Hey, Blackie- you should write down every definitive statement you make about her and save them up for a month. The person you're describing is at least two different women. I'm trying to decide which of you is more like a lightswitch- on again, off again- because I think you both do these dramatic swings from ecstasy to misery.

Are all of your relationships like this?

[blackiesharley]

Hey, Blackie- you should write down every definitive statement you make about her and save them up for a month. The person you're describing is at least two different women. I'm trying to decide which of you is more like a lightswitch- on again, off again- because I think you both do these dramatic swings from ecstasy to misery.

This is without a doubt the strangest relationship I've EVER been in. I'm very confused and need advice. Thank God for this site.

First let me state that I DO indeed love her, I realize that now. I could see us 'together-together' for a long time. As I'm typeing this, she's in the bedroom with the twins snoring away. I'm in the guest room/office and that's fine, we do not show affection when the kids are around and certianly don't sleep together unless it's just the two of us. That's fine with me, I'm into this for the long run.

We had a story-book day. A minor (seemed major at the time) spat last night (away from the girls) and went to bed mad at each other. It was over nothing. We kissed and made up the very first thing tearfully as the sun came up this morning and apoligized to each other while we were holding each other in my garage (for privacy) away from the kids with our robes and morning breath.

She then made a wonderful breakfast for everybody, my elderly Mother who I care for included. They get along so great, she treats her SO well. And I've bonded SO well with the twins they almost smother me and I love it. Never had that before.

Her words: 'Blackie, (not my real name of course) they need attention like this,'

Kids words: 'Mr. Blackie, can I go to the store with you?' 'Of course.'

A beautiful day at the beach. Again storybook, surfing, sunning, goofing around with the kids in the sand. Came home to my place, she made and served dinner for everybody, refused my help. Then after dark I put on an outdoor fireworks display in the backyard to everyone's enjoyment, except my Mom who thought I'd burn the neighborhood down. 'Blackie, your Mom is really nervous, I'll sit with her and calm her down, she'll enjoy the fireworks.'

The perfect woman right? Not really.

She kept going to the bathroom every hour during our fireworks. I thought she was sick. I finally decided to barge in on her and my worst fear was true. She was in there sniffing coke. 'Blackie, I've brought a present for you, help yourself...' And ***I*** ****ED UP BIG TIME! I accepted thinking what a great day, one of the best in my life what can one line or two hurt?' Haven't done that in thirteen years.

I love this woman. I love what we have had for six months. She says she needs to take things slowly, yet we're obviously totally devoted to each other.

What the hell do I do? I don't want anybody else but yet I can't see me sitting around forever waiting for her to 'come a little bit closer.' Like Gigabitch said it's misery or extasy.

A woman with a heart of pure gold like nothing I've ever seen before, a drug problem, who I knows loves me, she hasn't said it in so many words but yet every time she looks at me.

What do I do????? Dump her? I don't think I can.