how can i get her to love me

[evilsocks]

this is long, but please just read the whole thing.
I am an athiest.
This spring, i went on vacation to spain with my school and met a girl named Heather. I spent a week with her traveling spain and i fell in love. i never buy anybody anything, but i decided to buy Heather a glass rose because it was her favorite flower. at the end of the trip, the group i was traveling with, which included Heather, returned home. i gave her the glass rose and said 'see you at school'. a week went by and i started to sit with her at the lunch table and talk with her, and i fell deeper and deeper in love with her. i asked her out on a date, and she said sure, but it was not a 'happy' sure. so we went out. the next day she said that she didnt like me and was srry if she had mislead me into thinking she did. i was crushed, but i still had hope that i might win her over. everyday i would still see her at lunch, i always complemented her in anyway possible, and for once i actually ment these compliments. she told me to stop with the complements because they made her feel guilty. i thought that guilt was a feeling when u have done something wrong, a mistake, possibly in not liking me when maybe she did deep down, so i still had hope. i heard that she was going to be in a performance called 'footloose'. i found out when it was playing during the weekend and went to see it, even though i had already seen the 'during school hours performance.' it was a great peformance mainly because she was in it. i brought her 12 roses, because remember, this is her favorite flower. she said thankyou, but didnt give me a hug or anything, just said thankyou and left. i heard that she missed the cast party for the footloose performance, so i made her a 'party in box', it was lame, but i wanted her to cheer up. after school each day i would find her and walk her to her bus, even if it meant that i would miss mine. she eventually started avoiding me, and would leave directly from her class to the bus, and not stop by her locker. she was also an artist, and her works won a few awards at the art award ceremony. i went to this ceremony, but i wasn't in art, so i got quite alot of odd looks from people. i didnt see her until she got up for her awards, i clapped and watched her eyes pass right over me, as if i wasnt even there. after the ceremony, i tried to find her to give a congradulations, but couldnt. her friends told me that she left right away, so i didnt have time to find her. i ended up staying very late waiting for my parents to come pick me up. as i waited, i found her works. one was a drawing of a saxaphone, the other was a picture of some people that i didnt know. they were very great works, and she deserved the awards. On Heather's birthday, i got her sparkly ear rings and a bracelet that spelled out her name. she said thank you, and never wore my gifts. Heather was in a group that raised money for cancer patients, it was called 'relay for life', you may have heard of it. at our school, there were different teams that were part of relay for life. Heather was part of a group called Fighting Frijoles. I joined. she would avoid my eyes as our team had meetings during lunch. then we had the relay for life 'walk' where all the teams would walk starting at 6:00 pm and ending at 9:00 pm unless you were going to spend the night. i went to this 'walk'. i found Heather walking with her friend Tory and Mary. i joined them. We walked in a straight horizontal line, Heather always being on the side that i was not. some of my friends were playing lacrosse, i asked them if i could use 2 sticks for a while. they said sure. i taught tory and Heather how to catch and throw a lacrosse ball with the sticks. while they were having fun with that, i started playing with my friends, though constantly looking back at Heather to see if she needed help. one of my friends, Dean, was swinging his stick around his head, it slipped out of his hands and clubbed me in the head. I dont remember who was the first to ask if i was alright, but i do remember that after 10 minutes or so, it seemed like Heather had forgot it ever happened. Mary, Heather's friend, had to go home around i think 8:00. Tory was going to leave as well, but Heather convinced Tory to stay a little longer. it was because Heather didnt want to be alone with me. at 9:00, Heather and Tory left. As they walked away, i said 'Bye Hermia' which was Heather's nickname, and 'Bye Holly' which was Tory's nickname. I heard a 'Bye Demetrius' which was my nickname, but it only came from Tory, not from Heather. My parents didnt come to pick me up for a while. I asked a cop for a ride home, but he said he couldnt. A nice senior named Caroline noticed me standing by a tree. Caroline and her boyfriend drove me home. One day Heather told me that she didnt think anything would ever come of us, no matter what i did. i became very sad, and attempted to kill myself (do understand that i got help and am fine now and far from suicide). School came to an end with the exam week and the getting of our yearbooks. all of Heather's friends signed my yearbook, but she did not. on the last day, everyone said goodbye, i to my friends and Heather's friends, and they to me. Heather avoided me and never said goodbye. I talked to Heather at the begining of the summer. I told her that i was going on vacation for 2 weeks and that she told me that she was going to a camp for 2 weeks. she seemed very nice and friendly. she was almost alluding hope, yes alluding as in hinting toward. she went to the beach a couple of days before i left, so i had to leave her a messege saying goodbye. over vacation, my insomnia returned, and i do admit that i am an insomniac. i started thinking about things for these hours i was awake at night. i began to think about god. i began to pray. i prayed that Heather would give me another chance, and for god to tell me how to get Heather to love me. maybe it was a lack of hope that brought god, maybe when there is nothing left and the pain is too much, i had to find an escape and i force myself to believe in this thing that was totaly unproven. whatever the reason, i began to believe in god. i started praying, not for forgiveness of my sins, i couldnt even think about my sins, i was overwhelmed with thoughts of Heather. I loved her so much, and i prayed that god would teach me how to get her to love me back. i was a believer of god, with hope. when i returned, Heather had left me a messege saying goodbye, and that she hoped i had fun on vacation. she returned from her camp, and we talked more than usual. she was very friendly, and i thought she may have started to like me. i asked her how camp was and she said very fun, i also asked about when she went to the beach before i left for vacation, she said that was fun aswell. we started talking many times a day. then today, i found out Heather likes a boy named Jeff, who she met at the beach before i left for vacation. Heather started asking me questions about if i had seen this jeff at my summer lacrosse league and where was this league. I had not seen jeff play lacrosse before so i told her that i hadnt seen him. Jealousy is the worst pain of all. having her accept someone else other than me.
What should i do? How can i win Heather over? plz, i need good advice, from girls, and guys. i love Heather more than anything. I dont want to lose her to someone who doesnt have love toward her but lust. he plays video games instead of spending time with his girlfriend. he isnt a good guy. so plz help me out. I need to win Heather over.

[Tiay]

oh wow, couldn't you have split that into paragraphs, at least?

well.. I'm sorry to say, the diagnosis is not so good; You developed a crush on a (popular?) girl at school (how old are you?) which you think is love. Then she said she didn't like you and she even apologized for leading you on. Then you started following her around and being super obsessive and stalkerish!

Also, I don't mean to devalue your feelings by saying it is a 'crush', a crush is an infatuation, which is the first stage of love. There is no doubt it affected you very deeply.

She shouldn't have led you on, true, but you should've backed off when she said she didn't like you. Yes, it's true, sometimes shy girls are afraid to tell a guy she likes them;; but when a girl says "I don't like you" and then starts avoiding you, it definitely means SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU.

You've already pursued her and all she did was avoid you. I'm sorry, but there is just nothing there for you. She has a free will of her own, you can't just 'make' her like you.

on a separate note, I'm an atheist. In my early teens I lamely tried praying, and I was like "god, if you exist, please make so and so happen, and if it does, I will believe in you", but then I figured, well, that could just be chance.. I really ought to make a proper challenge for god.. like.. turn my bedroom walls green and upgrade the RAM in my computer, etc. Then I realized how silly that was on soooo many levels and stopped it

[evilsocks]

ya, guess your right, damn. you asked how old i was, but age shouldnt matter, whether your 10 or 80, it still hurts. thnx for helping.

[Gigabitch]

Welcome, evilsocks (GREAT handle!) to the world of love. You have now endured the initial hazing. You are marked for life, and you will never be the same.

Long story short, you can't get her to love you. Can not.

Learn the lesson and next time, better luck.

[Tiay]

age shouldnt matter, whether your 10 or 80, it still hurts

actually, I think this is a really good point. Age isn't even any good at predicting maturity in all cases.

[Junket]

How do you guys even bother with those posts?

It's a big jumbled mess of letters.

I simply don't have the patience for that lack of curteousy.

[Tiay]

How do you guys even bother with those posts?

I wonder that about vashti and giga and all the regulars sometimes. It's odd, how we help complete strangers, even argue heatedly about what some person we don't even know should do, etc. It makes me feel good about myself to possibly help somebody- in the end, a lot (or maybe even ALL) of what we do holds a reward for ourselves, even if it is what would be called a 'selfless' thing to do.

edit; also, evilsocks post was actually grammatically correct and well spelled, which is a lot more than can be said for a lot of other posters. It didn't require re-reading the same bits repeatedly to understand the wrong spelling. Sometimes I wonder if people are writing those posts on their cell phones..

[bugmenot]

short answer - she will either love you or she won't, and i'm afraid it sounds like the latter, but although it sounds cliche and you probably dont believe me, there WILL be other, better girls

[Junket]

I wonder that about vashti and giga and all the regulars sometimes. It's odd, how we help complete strangers, even argue heatedly about what some person we don't even know should do, etc. It makes me feel good about myself to possibly help somebody- in the end, a lot (or maybe even ALL) of what we do holds a reward for ourselves, even if it is what would be called a 'selfless' thing to do.

edit; also, evilsocks post was actually grammatically correct and well spelled, which is a lot more than can be said for a lot of other posters. It didn't require re-reading the same bits repeatedly to understand the wrong spelling. Sometimes I wonder if people are writing those posts on their cell phones..

I suppose it's better you guys do because I sure as hell can't.

People could easily sum up their issues into a few sentences.

[Gigabitch]

Sometimes you've just got to let it out.

You know, Word Vomit. I'm sure he feels better down to his evil socks.

[vashti]

People could easily sum up their issues into a few sentences.

I agree 100%. I tend to think that posts like this are meant more as a vent than an actual request for advice, and as such, I usually skip over them.

[blacksun]

Organization is key, i cant read that without considerable effort and as such i wont.