i want him back

[lizzie802]

i recently went on a week long trip with a friend to FL. while we were down there, i made out with a guy who was staying at the beach house with us. if i had to justify why i did it i would say it was because my boyfriend (of over a year and 3 months) had been pretty much ignoring me. soon after returning home, my bf and i broke up. he now tells me it was becuase he needed to find out if he still loved me and he figured out that he did, but after i told him about the guy in FL (who i dont have contact with), he completely flipped out at now doesnt even want to talk to me. i still love him, and he said he still loved me. i know that it was wrong for me to do it, but how can he condemn me when right after we broke up, he made out with an ex girlfriend? and how can i get him back for good?

[TAVS]

Here's why. You made out with another guy before you broke up. Me made out with a girl after you broke up. See the difference. I wouldn't take you back. Anyway, there is clearly something wrong with your relationship and you both clearly want to play the field.

[Late_vamp]

your a slut and he's a bastard , now deal with it . serves you right hahaha

edit : i read last reply and hes not a bastard . your still wrong tho .

[vashti]

It doesn't sound like either of you are old enough for a serious relationship. I say this because you try to blame him for your indiscretions, and because he didn't give himself a reasonable amount of time before getting with another girl. Why don't you just try dating casually for a while? Life doesn't end if you don't have a steady boyfriend...

[Ellynn]

First of all, just because your bf is ignoring you doesn't make it right to go and make out with some other guy. If you were that unhappy at the time you should have waited, taked things thru or ended things before moving on to something else. Obviously he did. Now, its your loss. You need to move on and deal with it.

Like Vashti said, Its not the end of the world if your not in a serious relationship.

Date around. Sounds to me like you don't want to be tied down right now. I mean now just think, at least you can go and make out with some random guy and its ok. Just make sure he isn't in a relationship himself.

[Sami09]

you hurt him by kissing some other guy it doesnt mean in time he dont forgive you . All you did was kiss right. Maybe in time you will get back together if he is really stubborn he meant not be able to forgive you.

[lizzie802]

thanks to everyone but late_vamp. i really appreciate your comments. but for your info late_vamp, i didnt have sex with him, he didnt feel me up, we just kissed, so dont call me a slut and dont you dare call him a bastard. no matter what he thinks of me, he's still a wonderful person, maybe just a little bit hypocritical, but arent we all?

[Late_vamp]

thanks to everyone but late_vamp. i really appreciate your comments. but for your info late_vamp, i didnt have sex with him, he didnt feel me up, we just kissed, so dont call me a slut and dont you dare call him a bastard. no matter what he thinks of me, he's still a wonderful person, maybe just a little bit hypocritical, but arent we all?

LMAO ok .................. im just telling you whats he's thinking , if you want to hear a bunch of "ohh sweety , i feel your pain " BS from other people fine by me , but im telling you the way he see's it , that wasnt right and in his eyes yes you are a slut .

[Gigabitch]

Look, the real problem was that your bf was ignoring you. That speaks of problems above and beyond playing tonsil-hockey with others.

Why do you want him back again?

[lizzie802]

i want him back because i love him. he was the first person i had sex with and eveything, but, thats not why im so attached to him. ive spent almost every single day with him for over the past year (today would have been 1 year 4 months), ive told him everything about me that i knew, and he helped me learn more about myself. but part of that learning about myself, included learning that he was part of me. we made promises that i dont want to break. he told me that he would love me forever, and as soon as possible we were supposed to move in together. he's everything i ever imagined i wanted. and now, even though he seems to be trying his hardest to make me hate him, to make me stop loving him, i still do love him, and i still want him back, and ill do anything to achieve that, because he really is the only thing i want

[King Zarathu]

Sex is part of the reason you're extremely attached to him. Another thing:

It doesn't sound like either of you are old enough for a serious relationship.

OK that's great vashti, except next time, replace what I put in bold with "n".

Been there, done that.. It's not worth it.

hwo can i git him bck 4 gud lololol

Cut your little revenge bullshit out because it only tells me that you need to grow up.

im just telling you whats he's thinking

I'm curious to know... how do you know what this man is thinking? I need to learn how to do that...

Why do you want him back again?

Oh noez! Come on... Don't tell me you haven't heard this ****ing story OVER and OVER and OVER again on these forums! Humans want what they obviously find hard/challenging/impossible to get, and she's giving into those natural instincts (that do not help you at all, mind you!) because of reasons I'd be an asshole for saying (she's young and immature).

so dont call me a slut and dont you dare call him a bastard

Umm... What the ****? If you're trying to "lol git him bck 4 gud n stuf" why can't somebody else say what they're thinking? You can always take or not take somebody's thoughts, comments, or advice. Remember, this is the internet, so as far as everybody else is concerned, you can show us an example of Nature's debugging system and bring me a coffee. You're a slut and your ex is a bastard. Sue me.

you hurt him by kissing some other guy it doesnt mean in time he dont forgive you . All you did was kiss right. Maybe in time you will get back together if he is really stubborn he meant not be able to forgive you.

I wouldn't even bother. Relationships at their age never really go anywhere special, with the rare exception of marriage and all of that....



Yeah, I'm a terrible human being.

[Gigabitch]

Somebody had to say it.

[lizzie802]

i only have one ? for Zarathu...how do you know how old i am? i could be 57 for all you know

[Tiay]

Good stuff so far
..But sometimes I think we should maybe just answer the damn question also; how do you get somebody back after hurting them - regardless of this particular situation.
In general, apologising profusely and meaning it, and/or some kind of extravagant gesture, the details of which sadly only you can really know since you know the person.

that is a pretty simple concept, so unless you are one of those people who believes that there is one magical yet effortless thing you can do to win them back, I don't know what you're asking us exactly. I think it's good that you told him, I suppose there must be a temptation to simply never speak of it.

You say he loves you, as if to say 'If he loved me surely he would get back with me!', but think about it; he may well love you, but ALSO not be able to forgive you- those two feelings are not mutually exclusive.
It sounds to me like your relationship had problems before your kissing thing. When you felt he was ignoring you, did you tell him this clearly? the point i'm making is, you can't justify your actions by saying your relationship was faulty, if you didn't even try to fix that relationship first.

[Gigabitch]

IMO, solve the problem that started it all. Namely, your relationship was not good and you were willing to do something mean and destructive to get his attention.

Do you know how many ways there are to get someone's attention that don't involve cheating on him? And yes, I think that at your level of development (this is not necessarily a slam), making out is cheating.

Why did you do that? Why do you say he's trying to make you hate him when you started it? And who do you think you are, talking about promises you never want to break? You've ruined your credibility.