Shy Girl

[JF1978]

Hi again.

I just had by second date with this girl (Jessica) and I am total crazy about her. I think she likes me too but she is totally shy when we meet. When we talk on the phone, the shyness disappears.

She wants to go slow because I just got out of a 3 year long term relationship (1 month ago). She isn't "sure how she feels" about that. My ex-girlfriend has a kid. I have been part of his life for the last 3 years. I don't want to just disappear from his life. She also does know how she feels about that.

I completley understand where she is coming from. I want to find the words to tell her to "Let her guard down" and that "I won't hurt her." She has been through alot of "hurt" over the last two years.

I want her to know how special she is to me but I am afriad I will scare her off. Even though we have only had two dates we have sent about 10 emails to each other and spent hours on the phone.

What should I say to her?

Is it wrong to send an email telling her: how much I like spending time with her, how special she is to me, I understand her concerns, and I need to know how you feel about me. I know my situation isn't ideal but I know I want to make this work.


JF1978

[Gigabitch]

IMO, that's just the right thing to do.

[JF1978]

I brought her a single rose for our first date on Monday. Today when I picked her up I saw the rose in a vace on the table. I got to tell ya, that was a great feeling.

[King Zarathu]

Go for it dude! Reading these stories make me feel warm, because I'm reminded that not all guys are complete assholes.... (Yeah, I'm a guy.)

[misombra]

show your love my dear.

[JF1978]

Well, I talked to her...

Things didn't go the way I hoped. She doesn't think she is ready for a relationship. She is just too busy with her masters degree and work and her other activities.

She can't handle that I just got out of a relationship. I was kinda pathetic talking to her on the phone. She know what she wants and I wanted to change her mind. I of course couldn't.

She says she has never had luck having friendships with guys. I was trying for anything on the phone.

She says she needs to work on herself too (get therapy). I think (pretty sure) she was physically (maybe sexually) attacked in some way in the last 2 years. I want to make her life easier not add more stress, which is what I am doing. She says she is under alot of stress already.

In one of my more pathetic monents on the phone, I told her I loved her. I quickly took it back, saying I don't love you and don't really know you yet but I really like you.

I ended the phone call telling her how much I liked her and how special she was.

It is amazing how much and quickly you can care about someone.

After begging, she say i could email her and she would reply. I think I will write her. I would like to wait a day or so but I am not sure I will. I want to apology to her. I don't want this email to be me trying to convince her to give me a chance. The only chance I have, is to respect her decision and see what time does. Maybe something that I write will click with her and she will realize that I different than all the other guys. I know in my mind it won't my my heart still hopes.

Anyone know where I can get some goriilla tranquilzer?

[Gigabitch]

Oh, damn. I'm fresh out of gorilla tranquilizer.

Well, you really let it all out, didn't you? Blurter!

Give it a couple of days and see if she calls you. It was a really intense conversation, and I'm sure she's gone over it a number of times in her head.

After a few days, e-mail her and for God's sake, control your blurting.