we where on a break!!!

[maquekatso]

here is the story
We started 3,5 month ago and it was a very serious relationship, long distance though.We used to meet almost every week or two until August when she said she could't arange to see me.After August she will go to a military school so next time i see her will be on October.
So she suggested we took a break and continue our relationship when it is possible.....(what?)
She said that until then i am free!
I did't have a problem with this except that she stoped calling and talking to me.She says it will be better if we talked less.(i told her i dissagree).
i didn't like that so i kept calling her until i saw nothing was going on and i was a little angry with her not calling so i tried to forget her and i started seeing another girl...(i guess that this wasn't a good move..)
what do u suggest i do now?

ps:this "other girl" thing was just for summer and is over now.The regural girl doesn't know anything.

[Ellynn]

Honestly to me what your girl is saying sounds realistic. Long distance relationships are hard. I mean she is going to be away for quite awhile and its only fair to keep your relationship open. Now, it seems you are feeling guilty for seeing someone else, but you shouldn't be. I mean she is avoiding your calls etc. So I would take this as a hint to keep your options open like she suggested in the first place. But, I would be honest to the other women you are seeing about your situation.
If you do end up seeing someone you want to start a relationship with, i would cut things off with the military girl.

Long distance things rarely work out. Its just a fact.

[vashti]

Yes, Ellynn is right.

[clark_kent9663]

I would suggest you cool off for a while. Do not get into another relationship. Otherwise, you'll have a rebound relationship. It's a relationship based on the "need to have one", rather than "want to have one". The difference? One of them is based on love towards your previous relationship which will end up you looking for something that's not there. Coz even if you're with someone else, you'll be thinking of the previous one. Let it die down the natural death and focus your energy into something productive. Career, for one.

[maquekatso]

Should i keep calling her? Or wait for her to call when and if she is ready at October? What if she calls me at october and i have already been and slept with 3 more girls?....
I mean we had a very serious relationship until august.There was 100% love between us and in one day time she stoped talking to me.When i ask her about her feelings she says she still loves me.
so why doesn't she call? If we continued having regular communication i wouldn't even think of sleeping with another girl.

[Gigabitch]

That "taking a break" thing is pure BS. Basically, it's: I don't want to date you, but you can't really date anyone else because I didn't really break up with you.

It's like some kind of test, and it's unfair. LDR's are hard enoigh without that. Why is it entirely up to her what happens between you?

[maquekatso]

because i love her and want to continue our relationship.
If i let her now i dont think we will be able to pick it up in two months.
I think that her solution of "taking a break"was't such a good idea....
I mean you all saw what happened with Ross and Rachel!!!(just kiding)

[Gigabitch]

Actually, that was a good example of how differently men & women view the same situation. What I want to know is, has she started seeing somebody else? You're not allowed to ask, are you?

[derm]

That "taking a break" thing is pure BS. Basically, it's: I don't want to date you, but you can't really date anyone else because I didn't really break up with you.

It's like some kind of test, and it's unfair. LDR's are hard enoigh without that. Why is it entirely up to her what happens between you?

I agree totally GB......It's a nice way of saying, It's over for good but I don't want to hurt your feelings. Also a get back togethor clause, just if I do decide we should get back togethor somewhere down the line

[maquekatso]

i dont think she is even thinking of seing someone else.She suggested the break because we wouldn't be able to see each other anyway for two months.
I called her a minute ago and she said that it is easier for her not to talk alot these two months.But i told her that it is easier for her but very bad for our relationship!!!.(i mean i have already gone with two girls because i was angry with her not callling me(i haven't told her that though)).

[Ellynn]

i dont think she is even thinking of seing someone else.She suggested the break because we wouldn't be able to see each other anyway for two months.
I called her a minute ago and she said that it is easier for her not to talk alot these two months.But i told her that it is easier for her but very bad for our relationship!!!.(i mean i have already gone with two girls because i was angry with her not callling me(i haven't told her that though)).

But, you don't know for a fact if she is seeing someone else or not. She is open to that option and she has every right to, just like you. Probably best to keep that all on the downlow what you do in your time apart, considering you both are open to seeing other people and both agreed to it! What I don't understand is how you claim to love this girl but you cannot wait two months until you see her again. I mean do you crave sex and attention that much? Why is it that you find it necessary to jump in the sack with these other people during this two month break? You said she left in Aug, and its still Aug. So, not a lot of time has passed and its quite a ways till Oct. You already have two women under your belt huh?

But, honestly, it sounds to me like she isn't having any long term expectations with your relationship. Very realistic of her. Long distance things don't usually work. Obviously you can't handle it and are already hooking up with other people etc. If she told you not to, would you still? Thats what Im wondering....

I'm not blaming you for not being cool with the whole long distance thing, but you need to let her know this. If I were in that situation, I would end things with her and if you two reconnect in the future, so be it. But in the meantime, you should be with someone who you are able to see on a day to day basis or at the very least a weekly basis. Why tie yourseld down to someone who may or may not want to be with you after al is said and done? She at least is smart enough to know not to tie herself to you and make promises.

[maquekatso]

Thanks for the advice friends...i'll let u know if there is something new.

[Venacava]

Taking a break for two months? That's not even very long, so I don't think it's a break that she wants. You two need to be honest with eachother.

[maquekatso]

hey friends i think we have officialy broken up now.
....life goes on(HEY! i'm only 18!no worries!)