It's such a perfect situation so why aren't we together?

[Congeniality]

Hey guys,

I'll give you a bit of info on what's happening with me and then please can you advise me as to what to do...I'm going insane.

2 1/2 years ago, I met this guy on the first day of Uni and we became best friends instantly. For the first year of univeristy we were inseparable. I am gay and he is bisexual so naturally everyone thought we were together even though we were not. I had strong feelings towards him and I told him this about 4 months after having met. He's not good at talking about his feelings so we never really discussed 'it.' Anyway, we moved into a house together for the 2nd year of Uni and one night we ended up sleeping together. It was great and everything was fine the following morning. This then continued to happen throughout the year and everytime we said it shouldn't happen again, it did. And it wasn't just sex, it was very romantic. Showers together etc...

Anyway, I am totally in love with him at the moment. We are compatible on every level. We work so well together as people, we are compatible sexually, we are going in the same direction in our lives...so why does he not want to be with me? I know he can say I don't want to risk losing the friendship, but this is so totally worth the risk!

In fact, I think the only way to get over him, is to cut him out of my life completely?

Do you think I should do this?
Is this the only way to get over someone?

I'm at a total loss...
Please help.

Cheers.
Congeniality.

[vashti]

Honestly, you started off by saying you are gay, and then decided to be straight. That does not instill a lot of confidence in one's ability to maintain a heterosexual relationship, and it makes you sound like you have some unresolved issues.

That, or he may just not like you as much as you like him.

[Congeniality]

I'm sorry, where did I say that I had gone straight.

I do not understand your post???

We are both guys...so it would not be a heterosexual relationship...

[Congeniality]

And if he doesn't like me as much as I like him, why sleep with me like that?

He knows I have feelings for him but yet willingly sleeps with me.

I know I'm being foolish by sleeping with him but I find it so hard to say no.

Cheers.
Congeniality

[vashti]

Ahh... I thought you were a girl, probably because of your screen name. Sorry.

In that case, I would say that he probably isn't as in to you as you are to him. Maybe he is leaning more towards being straight, who knows?

You ask why he sleeps with you; well, I am sure you are not unaware that people like to have sex, even without a relationship, especially males. Just ask any straight girl over the age of 17.

[Junket]

Hey! It's a gay guy! w00t!

[Congeniality]

So what's the best advice to get over him???

I've though about it for ages and the only clear way I can see is to cut him out of my life until I'm ready. It sounds drastic but it seems like it's the only way.

Thanks for your advice so far...

Congeniality

[misombra]

lots of guys will have sex with you knowing you have feelings for them and they don't. i've learned this the hard way.

the best thing is to stay away from him.

[Gigabitch]

Find a new living situation. Is he openly bisexual, or only "I'm only gay if you are"? If he's not ready to be with you, the only thing you're going to get is hurt.

[Congeniality]

He's openly bisexual and confident with his sexuality. All of our friends know he is. The only thing is that I am more experienced and open about my sexuality than he is. This is mainly because I am an extrovert person where as he is an introverted one.

On the plus, I am moving to Spain for a year in the next 2 weeks and he is staying at Uni so we won't see each other.

It's funny. It sounds pathetic when you write all of this down but I think about him everyday. The plans for the future are with him in mind as I thought we were going somewhere. It's been 2 years now, so I think it's time to take action and leave him behind.

???

Thanks Gigabitch, please keep it coming...

[Gigabitch]

Well, it sounds liike you're leaving him behind regardless...

Things will be very different when youre apart. You can miss him completely and not worry too much about he consequences. Your life will be so much more than it is. Don't worry. You'll be okay.