I want more sex than he does...!

[sachi]

I thought it was mostly the other way around with couples. When we first dated, we saw each other every day or every other day and we ****ed almost every day. It was wonderful. We've both started school and so I'm at his house maybe only once or twice a week.

Since it's not so often, I want to make love to him every time we meet. For one stretch we didn't have sex for 12 days... if was horrible. But he doesn't often come on to me. In fact, even in public when we kiss goodbye, it's always me who initiates it. It's not like I'm unattractive; I'm actually blessed with a pronounced hour-glass figure. Also, as soon as we're kissing, I can get him into the mood in a second (judging by the turning of the tender kisses into more ravenous kisses).

But I try to show my discretion; I feel easy if I'm constantly throwing myself at him. Do any of you have this problem?

[Cybog]

Are you fat? What are your REAL stats...height...weight....tit size...etc.

I'm actually blessed with a pronounced hour-glass figure.

Does this mean you have a big ass? Be honesty with us here. Maybe the physical attraction isn't there.

Maybe it's more than physical. Maybe he just doesn't want to risk you getting pregnant and being stuck in a relationship with you forever that sucks. Are you guys fighting / arguing / not getting along anymore recently than usual?

Do you guys see each other on these once or twice a week stretches and not have sex during those nights either?

You could suggest he come over just for a quickie...see how that goes. Don't do anything BUT have sex and then let him leave. Sometimes there is too much emphasis on the event that people just don't feel like doing it. Do you make him cuddle, spoon, or lay there bored like an idiot for half an hour after sex?

He could be stressed with school and just not in the mood. Sometimes this happens, depending on the workload.

He could be bored with the way the sex is happening. I have been with broads that were about as exciting as a wooden post. Do you do "stuff" for him other than missionary with the lights off?

He could be seeing someone else and doesn't want to be with you anymore.

Who knows....I can think of plenty of reasons....you have to be more honest about your relationship and see where you guys stand. Have you flat out said something to him about it? Asked him what he wants/needs? That's the first step in my mind. Why waste your time/life wondering what the **** is going on all the time?

[Venacava]

Maybe it has to do with the fact that his Mother is dying, who knows. Or maybe he's got other things on his mind, suprisingly not everything is about sex.
Just a thought.

[vashti]

He may just have a lower sex drive than you do. Once the guys hit around the age of 25, many of them begin to experience a decline in sex drive while women's ex drive is on the rise. That, coupled with venacava's reply...

[sachi]

Cybog - I used to be fat, so that's probably the reason I'm curvy. I lost 25 lb.s recently.

Height: 5'6.5"
Weight: 130 lb.s
Bra size: 34C/D
Measurements: 38/26/38

Here's a little proof:


He is more tired after sex than I am so he usually lays on his back and I cuddle up next to him and we may lay like that for 1-10 minutes.

I'm going to ask him about it. I'm just apprehensive talking about sex sometimes...

[vashti]

Sachi, just out of curiosity, why did you choose to respond to the one possibility that was clearly wrong and ignore the rest?

[Cybog]

Hmm, I don't think you are unattractive. I would definitely hit it.

I don't think I have ever met a guy at the age of 26 who wanted less sex than he did when he was 22. Science and so-called statistics seem to think that every man's sex drive declines at that age, and yet I haven't met a guy yet whose does.

I'm almost 29 and I want it everyday, 2-3 times at least. MORE than I did when I was 17-19 or so. The only difference is that back then I would stick my dick in anything that had a vagina. Now, my tastes are a little more "matured".

I'm going to ask him about it. I'm just apprehensive talking about sex sometimes...

Maybe this is the problem. Maybe he doesn't know what to say....you don't know what to say...and thus, nothing is being said or improved. Sex is more than just laying there on your back while the other person does all the work. I always tell the ladies that if you want me to improve and not waste my time, you damn sure better be telling me what I am doing wrong. How else is it supposed to get any better?

Sachi, just out of curiosity, why did you choose to respond to the one possibility that was clearly wrong and ignore the rest?

I have personally been with 3 women who put on too much weight or stopped dressing nice or "stopped trying" altogether, which ultimately was the end of our sex life and relationship. You can call me shallow or feed me some bullshit line about "It's what’s on the inside" or whatever, but ultimately when we get into a relationship and you decide you want to get fat on me, that's not what I signed on for. When you decide to stop dressing nice or doing your hair or makeup WHEN YOU DID IN THE FIRST PLACE, that's false advertisement.

Women seem to think that once they hook a man, they can get fat, get ugly, stop caring, and just offer to lay there to keep us around. And of course, too many men are pussies to put a stop to it, therefore empowering broads everywhere to continue this sort of behavior. No thanks.

There is ultimately nothing for a guy in a serious relationship, that he can't get when he is single and dating. So ultimately, sex is a driving factor behind the relationship. If you are no longer attractive to the man, what is in it for him that he can't get as a single dating man?

[Gigabitch]

Sachi, does he smoke a lot of pot?

[TyRuK]

All pot did was make me a sex fanatic!

[sachi]

I'm sorry for not responding to the rest of you, it wasn't intentional at all.

Cybog - I'm the opposite. When we met (May) I was 150-155 and just recently I hit 130. Strangely enough I lost most of the weight because I stopped caring about what I was eating. The last few pounds were because I wanted to lose weight for a TV role that I did.

But you could be right about the sex. I don't know how to mix it up though. Most of the time I'm on top, but we sometimes do missionary. One time he spooned me and we did it that way which was extremely exciting, with his breath on my ear and all that. Doggy is a little tricky because he is almost a foot taller than me. I don't actually orgasm (he comes too fast, and I take forever to come, so I don't bother trying) but I don't think that's a big problem. Generally sex is very enjoyable!! =D

Back to your post; I really do agree that sex and attraction are a bit part of relationships. But just because my boyfriend finds my curvy body attractive, doesn't mean that other guys will. Some guys have an affinity for A-size breasts for example. Others may prefer a lean and lanky build. Isn't it lovely that women come in all shapes and sizes?

Gigabitch - Haha funny you mention pot; he was the one who introduced me to it. But really he only smokes once/week maybe.

Venacava - Yeah I realized that even though he doesn't always talk about his mom, she really is on his mind a lot. We were at a party last week and got drunk and he just broke down crying...

Vashti - My boyfriend is only 22.



In general, there ARE a lot of things going on: his mom dying, the stress of school, and I just thought of another thing... he just got off his anti-depressants (he's not depressed, it's a long story) but they could have caused major disturbances in his emotional level and libido I think. Thanks for your guys' help in sorting this out!

[vashti]

Maybe he liked you better at a higher weight.

[King Zarathu]

Yeah dude some guys like fat chicks.

[Cybog]

But you could be right about the sex. I don't know how to mix it up though. Most of the time I'm on top, but we sometimes do missionary. One time he spooned me and we did it that way which was extremely exciting, with his breath on my ear and all that. Doggy is a little tricky because he is almost a foot taller than me.

You sound like a wet noodle in the sack.

Do you guys watch porno? Or are you hung up on yourself and don't "let him" look at that stuff? If you did, you could gather a world of ideas for other ways for you to have sex. Most of the chicks in pornos are tiny girls with bigger guys anyhow, so most of the positions they show should still work, even if he is a little taller than you. Maybe its time you start spicing things up a little.

No matter how great the steak is, if a man eats the same boring steak every night, he will eventually want to try something else.

I doubt it has to do with your weight. It's not like you were 200 lbs and you are now a size 3. 20 pounds at your size isn't so noticable that it would change his image of you. Most chubby-chaser dudes go for the bigger girls, and 150 at 5'7" aint that big. And your rack hasn't changed much in size either, so it's not like you were a DD and now you are a B or something.

Without knowing the dude and knowing more about him its hard to say. But if you want something done about it you should spend more time with him talking and trying new things than writing about it to us.

[Venacava]

His Mum is probably on his mind 24/7! She's dying for crying out loud. Problems like that should put problems like this into perspective. Try talking to him.

[vashti]

His Mum is probably on his mind 24/7! She's dying for crying out loud. Problems like that should put problems like this into perspective. Try talking to him.

I absolutely agree. This problem - given the circumstances surrounding his life - is trivial.