Nice Guys vs. Jerks

[misombra]

i just love how the guys are having to defend themselves now.

you're arguing against yourself with every word you type, so i beg you, keep going...

[jurupa]

I bet you are a virgin.

And your point is? Even if I am, its my choice. I am going to be who I am and not what other people want be to be like. But it is nice of you to change the topic to me. If there anything else you want to know about me? Since you decided to avoid answering my question which was directed to you on your statement that girls do not like cocky guys. Heres the question again for you:

Vashti you say that girls do not like cocky guys, then why do girls fall for "bad boys" who are basically cocky all the time?

i just love how the guys are having to defend themselves now.

you're arguing against yourself with every word you type, so i beg you, keep going...

Uh how? Vashti has yet to answer my question. I answered hers, and have made vaild arguements which have only been met with weak one liners from the other side. Yes I am defending my position as that is what you do in an agruement.

[misombra]

hahaha.

you just made a huge generalization and then told us we have weak arguments.

[jurupa]

hahaha.

you just made a huge generalization and then told us we have weak arguments.

Yes I did made one, so let me rephase my huge generalization for you.

"Most girls fall for "bad boys" that are cocky most of the time"

Is that better now?

The reason I am saying that your agruements have been weak is that you respone with one liners. Heck I answered vashti's question directed to me in full and she has yet to respone to mine. Instead she bets that I am a virgin. How the heck this counters my arguement I don't know, but I am wating her respone tho. Then you, misombra, say that us guys are loosing the arguement. How?

I am aware that both sexes have generalizations, but they won't be there if there was not a cetain amount of truth to them to support the generlization.

[misombra]

Yes I did made one, so let me rephase my huge generalization for you.

"Most girls fall for "bad boys" that are cocky most of the time"

Is that better now?

The reason I am saying that your agruements have been weak is that you respone with one liners. Heck I answered vashti's question directed to me in full and she has yet to respone to mine. Instead she bets that I am a virgin. How the heck this counters my arguement I don't know, but I am wating her respone tho. Then you, misombra, say that us guys are loosing the arguement. How?

I am aware that both sexes have generalizations, but they won't be there if there was not a cetain amount of truth to them to support the generlization.

..by ignoring all of the other posts we've made already answering your questions and explaining ourselves.

go back and read the thread and then come talk to me.

[jurupa]

..by ignoring all of the other posts we've made already answering your questions and explaining ourselves.

go back and read the thread and then come talk to me.

I did read the post that where already made. The main arguement to me it seemd was cockyness being funny or not. The secondary one was girls liking or not liking cocky guys. This what I got out of reading 10 or so pages of posts. I read it again and see if my question was truely answered already, which I doubt.

[VashTN]

And I guess you're obviously forgetting the one about guys falling for or wanting "bitchy" girls. That was the counterargument posted by someone, which we all reasoned is just not true.

I'll tell you though. After I started acting a little bit more cocky with a funny intention, this girl I like really started to notice me. In fact, girls in general in my high school now are starting to notice me alot more and actually start conversations with me. I don't know how to explain it, it's one of those things that you have to see to believe, but there is a major difference and it really shows.

I didn't change anything about myself. Same face, body, cloths, everything but the way I speak, what I say, how I say it, when I say it, and because of that, i've been able to be more confident and more relaxed around really hot girls now.

Call it what you will, but the facts are that when I was nice and spilled my heart out for some girl I liked, told her how I felt about her, asked her if we could be more than friends, even asked her to a have coffee with her, I was handed "rejection". Rejection hurts alot, and i've seen alot of guys grow with it in my class, and though the years, go into their own little shell. But I was able to break out of that, without changing a thing about myself.

Was I doing bad things? No. Was I dressing like a gangster, thug, pimp? No. Was I acting like the sh*t and putting others down? No. Did I get plastic surgery or work-out to improve the way I look? No.

The only thing that changed about me, was that I was now being a little bit cocky, but in a funny way. As I got better and better at it, it seemed like girls couldn't resist. It was almost like I was taking out the Kryptonite everytime I would open up my mouth.

All the girls here can make excuses and deny it, or even try to change the subject so they don't have to face the truth, but the facts speak for themselves. Most girls are attracted to cocky guys. If you are a girl that is not, then you are a minority, but for the most part, this holds true. I'm not trying to say that girls love purely cocky-showoff guys. No! They love however, guys that are a little cocky, a little manly, but overall, really funny, all at the same time.

I think it's safe to say that the argument is now closed and over.

[jurupa]

Well I read the whole thread again, and pulled out some things people said in this thread. My question was answered in some ways not not in others. I think the reason for this is from the following quote:

like most things, i think it goes both ways.

just as girls may prefer "cocky" guys, guys seem to also prefer "bitchy" girls, no matter how much they say they don't.

I agree that most things go both ways. But what doesn't go both ways is the defintions. You say when a girl is being cocky she is being bitchy, but when I say a girl is being cocky I mean something else. This part of the reason why I asked the question. The other part was that various girls said that they do not like cocky guys. But then a lot of people said that nice guys finished last and its the jerks that get the one night stands. Heres a quote saying this:

Henry I totally disagree...totally

It's jerks with the RIGHT qualities that win girls........Nice guys with the same qualities will win just as many, if not more!

Nice guys will still be with them 6 months later, jerks will just get the one night stand.
I'm soooo tired of hearing that line, that probably originated in some movie somewhere.

REALLY!

This brings me to my next quote:

The reason "nice guys finish last" is because they are perceived as being spineless and weak, which is not attractive on ANYONE, male or female. The quality you call "being a jerk" is NOT the thing that women like. They like CONFIDENCE.

This one is almost a Catch 22. Girls go for confidence, and yet they go for jerks or the "bad boys" who are cocky which is viewed by most guys as being confident. I agree having no spine and being weak are not attractive. But it almost seems that girls and guys that go for the bitchy girls, confuse confidence with cockyness/bitchyness. This the only answer I could come up with on this one.

On to the next one, aint this fun and arn't you glad you ask me to read thru the thread again! lol

I don't think anyone is being dishonest. You have neglected to take into consideration the fact that Venacava is (I believe) in her early 20s, and Giga and I are in our mid thirties. What might have interested us at 20 becomes old and boring after repeated exposure. I think my patience for "lines" wore out when I was around 25.

I do think age is a factor in how both male and females define cockyness/bitchyness and confidence. I am 22, will my thinking and defintions change when I am in my 30's maybe. It depends on a lot of factors.

Bullshit. I used to tell my parents the same thing, but I was wrong, just as you are now, neo. And yes, misombra is correct in saying that Frasbee and I agree in essence.

This one was made in reply on how dating and what have you has change over the years. It actually has and quite a bit. I have had many talks with my mom and other moms (Don't ask) about dating and socializing, and from what I been able to tell them and what they have seen they have said things have change and in some areas for the worse. I can provide examples of such chages, if asked for. I don't want to make a huge list with an already big post.

[jurupa]

And I guess you're obviously forgetting the one about guys falling for or wanting "bitchy" girls. That was the counterargument posted by someone, which we all reasoned is just not true.

I thought it was double sided. Which is why I didn't respond to it really.

I'll tell you though. After I started acting a little bit more cocky with a funny intention, this girl I like really started to notice me. In fact, girls in general in my high school now are starting to notice me alot more and actually start conversations with me. I don't know how to explain it, it's one of those things that you have to see to believe, but there is a major difference and it really shows.

I didn't change anything about myself. Same face, body, cloths, everything but the way I speak, what I say, how I say it, when I say it, and because of that, i've been able to be more confident and more relaxed around really hot girls now.

Call it what you will, but the facts are that when I was nice and spilled my heart out for some girl I liked, told her how I felt about her, asked her if we could be more than friends, even asked her to a have coffee with her, I was handed "rejection". Rejection hurts alot, and i've seen alot of guys grow with it in my class, and though the years, go into their own little shell. But I was able to break out of that, without changing a thing about myself.

Was I doing bad things? No. Was I dressing like a gangster, thug, pimp? No. Was I acting like the sh*t and putting others down? No. Did I get plastic surgery or work-out to improve the way I look? No.

The only thing that changed about me, was that I was now being a little bit cocky, but in a funny way. As I got better and better at it, it seemed like girls couldn't resist. It was almost like I was taking out the Kryptonite everytime I would open up my mouth.

All the girls here can make excuses and deny it, or even try to change the subject so they don't have to face the truth, but the facts speak for themselves. Most girls are attracted to cocky guys. If you are a girl that is not, then you are a minority, but for the most part, this holds true. I'm not trying to say that girls love purely cocky-showoff guys. No! They love however, guys that are a little cocky, a little manly, but overall, really funny, all at the same time.

Like I said in my last post, I think a lot of what is going on is even tho there a soild defintion for the word cocky, how either sex views/defines the word is pretty much totally different.

I think it's safe to say that the argument is now closed and over.

Unless people want to get philosophical about it lol.

[vashti]

I think a lot of what is going on is even tho there a soild defintion for the word cocky, how either sex views/defines the word is pretty much totally different..

Yay! He finally gets it!!

[jurupa]

You could have said that ya know. I already knew this, but I do forget things you know.

[TyRuK]

Nice guys only finish last if they or the woman don't know what they want. Then she will stay with the jerk or go with the jerk.

[david616098]

Hi
Depends on who you ask some girls consider me to be a jerk but really i think i am a nice person its just that there are some things that just tend to get complicated when they are not meant to be. The reason why women tend to like jerks well i think its confidence women tend to like guys who are sure about themselves and a lot of nice guys tend to be self doubting .
So i guess just be a bit more confident and hey you will meet a really nice girl then you will have nice guy and nice girl combination .

[Venacava]

I don't think nice guys are self doubting. I am about to go out with a guy who is possibly the nicest person I have ever met and believe me, he is more than confident. You don't have to be confident to be a jerk either.

[misombra]

being a jerk is the biggest display of insecurity and self-hate there is.