Motives for guys and gals

[Mr. E]

I'm not really sure where to put this, but I need to get these thoughts down and I'd love to get feedback on them.

Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about what differs between the thought processes of the two genders. A recent situation got me thinking about the whole "just friends" thing that every guy has dealt with.

A girl found me via facebook (more or less a myspace for college students). We talk online, meet in person, hang out a few times. It wasn't long after our second time getting together before I started receiving more phone calls/txt messages/IMs from her. To me, this was a sign that she was interested in me. However, after expressing my interest by kissing her and not getting the reaction I'd expected, I became confused.

Assuming that females are sane, there are obvious differences in how they process thoughts compared to how guys do. From my understanding, the example situation would equate to a girl finding and persuing someone via the internet for friendship. Fair enough, but one question.... Why?!

So often, we hear of girls telling a guy she just wants to be friends (hell, it's a cliche now). The fact that example_female actually went looking rather than through natural interaction, this is what got me thinking. My thoughts: "Why do girls want guy friends?" and "Why don't guys feel the need for female friends?"

So here's what I've come up with. I'm not trying to sound like an ass and I'm open to suggestions, critiques, etc.

Girls want friends who are guys because: Guys can lift things, offer protection, and fix things.

Guys are guys, so they are equipped to perform these tasks by themselves. In the event that they aren't capable, they'll enlist the help of guy friends.

Is this what it amounts to? It'd explain quite a bit. I'm a guy and I think like a guy for the most part, so I may be missing something as a result.

Thanks,
Mr. E

[Junket]

Probably.

Most gurls are dumB and wouldn't admit such a thing though.

[NeoSeminole]

girls are illogical.

[HopelssRomantic]

Probably.

Most gurls are dumB.

excuse me?

i think you are over analyzing. every girl is different. they have been through different things..and they think different from eachother.

a girl saying "i just wanna be friends" is bascially saying that they arent interested..but they dont wanna lose contact..calling it a cliche is kinda harsh...cuz what do guys want us to say? we ACTUALLY care about feelings ect. and dont wanna hurt guy's feelings as much as we dont wanna be hurt by guys.

main point. you think too much. take it one girl at a time. is there a specific question you wanna know about this one girl?

plus. i dont approve of generalizing.

[King Zarathu]

Most gurls are dumB

excuse me?

i think you are over analyzing. every girl is different. they have been through different things..and they think different from eachother.

No, Frasbee was dead on, except he should've replaced "most" with "all."

[HopelssRomantic]

No, Frasbee was dead on, except he should've replaced "most" with "all."

go eat rocks.

[King Zarathu]

go eat rocks.

You can eat my rocks. Tool.

[Mr. E]

Haha. Ok guys and gals, I think I got the answer I was looking for. It's just the sad truth. I just wish girls would recognize this. You always hear "Guys are only looking for sex." Well, if we're capable of taking care of everything else on our own, then, yeah, sex is one of those things we need a partner for.

Admittedly, I have female friends, but I didn't go looking for them.

[Venacava]

I don't have guy friends because they can lift things, I actually do the same work as a lot of my GUY friends, it has nothing to do with strength. A lot of guys do want girl friends actually. Most of my friends are guys.
I think the problem is that a lot of guys get confused about boy/girl friendship and SOMETIMES when a girl is "nice" towards a guy, they think she wants more. A lot of my friends have been confused about this, but now that I've been friends with them for a long time, they understand I just get along with guys better.

Why don't you just ask her? You can't make a conclusion about this girl and then make a generalisation about all girls.

[NeoSeminole]

Venacava says:

"I just get along with guys better."

You're not the only girl. I've heard many others say this as well. Makes you wonder...

[Venacava]

Makes you wonder? In a sarcastic way, orrrrr what?

[TDurden]

personally i like having female friends. when i meet a girl it isn't always about a relationship or sex. the fact is there some things i can talk to girls about that i can't with guys and vice versa. i don't think girls befriend guys only for their potential usefullness, though i won't deny that some probably do.

[vashti]

a girl saying "i just wanna be friends" is bascially saying that they arent interested..but they dont wanna lose contact..calling it a cliche is kinda harsh...cuz what do guys want us to say? we ACTUALLY care about feelings ect. and dont wanna hurt guy's feelings as much as we dont wanna be hurt by guys.

Agreed. Even my 13 year old girl is having to deal w/ this. Sometimes though, you just can't be nice, because a boy is so dumb, he can't accept it.

"Guys can lift things, offer protection, and fix things."

Haha! That was pretty funny! Anyway, as for me, the quality I like about males is that they are pretty much all on the surface. Women are so much more complex, and frankly sometimes bitchy, and I don't often have patience to deal with the drama.

When I was in my 20s, I was a lot like Venacava in that I preferred male company. I am finding though, that once women hit their 30's, I tend to like them better, and prefer their company over males.

[Tiay]

I like having male friends.. though really.. it doesn't matter so much about the gender as much as the person. What I mean is, what i'm looking for in a friend isn't male or female, it's just someone who'll listen to me, share ideas and stories and generally be a good friend.

edit: my closest friends at college are female though.
and yes, some guys do come in handy for physical labour, it'd be waay too much hassle to intentionally, falsely befriend someone for that. maybe some girls would, I suppose.

[jurupa]

Anyway, as for me, the quality I like about males is that they are pretty much all on the surface. Women are so much more complex, ...

Women are more complex how? Are you more refering to the things females do in general compare to men? Like creating a social ladder much longer and complex than the ones males create? Things like this? I am just asking becuase I think guys can be complex, but most probably in different ways.

But I agree with what Tiay said. What is wrong with having a female friend if you like having them as a friend? But it depends on person to person tho.