Good days and bad days...

[Mathias]

Little bit of an update.

She still hasn't sent back my stuff. She said she "hadn't gotten around to it". Basically, sent a rather nice e-mail back (really...I wasn't mean), saying that it was ridiculous, and that I thought we could be friends eventually, but not with everything that's happened now. I think that's the best step for me--it was nearly abusive toward the end emotionally.

Now, today, I run into her best friend...I smile and wave, and she scoffs at me. How the hell did I spend four years and not realize that this whole thing was screwed up?

Ugh. Maybe I just won't date, ever. Much easier that way.

[Gigabitch]

Ugh. Maybe I just won't date, ever. Much easier that way.

Yeah, you say that now. Wait until spring, with all of the flowers and the little bunnies and people making out everywhere. You're going to get torqued up, just like everybody else.

[Gigabitch]

I believe the evidence is to be clearly observed, as he begins to rub up against the furniture and start dating the nearest thing in a skirt.

[Junket]

Ugh. Maybe I just won't date, ever. Much easier that way.

Ah, that it is.

But to get involved in human drama in inevitable.

Haven't you ever seen I Heart Huckabees?

[Mathias]

Yeah.

It's funny, I know I'm going through the seven steps of grieving. Shock and disbelief have happened, mainly initially. Denial happened for a short period of time. I don't know if bargaining happened. Maybe it did, and I just didn't realize it. Guilt definitely happened, as I wondered what I did wrong. Anger was pretty ugly, but at least I didn't take it out on anyone. Depression happened as well...mainly with waking up each morning.

When do I get to acceptance? I feel like I'm almost there, even already, but something's preventing me from getting there. If anything, I'm stuck in between anger and depression right now.

[vashti]

When do I get to acceptance? I feel like I'm almost there, even already, but something's preventing me from getting there. If anything, I'm stuck in between anger and depression right now.

That part is different for everyone, but the more engaged you are with your life, the sooner it seems to happen.

[Mathias]

That part is different for everyone, but the more engaged you are with your life, the sooner it seems to happen.

Yeah. I'm doing my best.

And, you guys have been terrific, and that really helps. I've heard the normal time is half the relationship. I'm NOT spending two years grieving. **** that.

[vashti]

Yeah, that sounds like it might be long for a male.... I guess time will tell.

[Mathias]

Yeah, that sounds like it might be long for a male.... I guess time will tell.

I don't know. I think the pain will go away a lot sooner than that. The trust factor will take a while. The problem is, we were headed toward marriage, and literally, one day that all disappeared suddenly, with no real reason. I'd feel better if she found another guy or something, but she didn't. The only reason is that she moved away for 8 months--but we had been through a year LD before.

Ugh. That's my biggest problem with this whole thing. We'll see what happens, I guess.

[Junket]

No rush dude, I'm all for extreme prejudiced behaviors towards females and complete denial that you want/need their company.

However, the key is to admit you're in denial.

This way your ego won't take such a large hit when you finally come around again.

I've been doin' it a while, can ya tell?

[Mathias]

Hah.

Actually, today was interesting. I'm sitting in the coffee shop, doing my work, when a rather cute girl starts talking to me. "Grading papers?" she says. I say yeah, and we get into an HOUR LONG conversation. Wow, cool...maybe I can go on a casual date, and at least stick myself back in the pool for a night.

About 55 minutes into the conversation (no exaggeration), she finally mentions her boyfriend. Seriously?

Poo on women. Actually, it was a lot of fun to talk to her, and I enjoyed it--but still. Throw me a frickin' bone here.

[vashti]

@==@ <--- bone

Are you a teacher?

[Gigabitch]

Poo on women. Actually, it was a lot of fun to talk to her, and I enjoyed it--but still. Throw me a frickin' bone here.

Pervert. That's just wrong.

[Mathias]

@==@ <--- bone

Are you a teacher?

Grad student...so I'm a teaching assistant for a class.

[Junket]

About 55 minutes into the conversation (no exaggeration), she finally mentions her boyfriend. Seriously?

Girls are so dense.