My Life.

[Sooky]

Sorry, but I'm laughing too hard at the soapbox you're standing on.

You're missing our point entirely. You're so set in the fact that you MUST be right, that you won't look at what THREE people are telling you.

Quit being a ****ing chump. You're not helping the situation ANY by keeping contact with her in any way, *especially* with the whiny, boyish drivel you've been sending.

Forgiveness should be in your OWN mind. We're trying to help, but you're too busy playing the goddamn victim to listen. She's not worth an ounce of your breath, and every time you do this, you dig yourself in a bigger hole.

How are we giving you this advice? We've ALL been there! I was a whiny, driveling high schooler too. I grew up. We're trying to help you get there, but you can only do that if you want to.

Right now, you're just stuck in neutral.

Ok, Mathias, I apologise to you, though it seems you've also missed my point. Its not your advice I have a problem with, its your methods (well the methods of certain people, who will remain nameless). Your advice here is very good and I admit I'd have to agree that cutting off all contact and trying to move on in a positive way is best. In my own break-up this has turned out to be the best way forward.

In fact Zach himself gave me that very advice soon after I posted about my break up blues and it was by far the best advice I received.

" I hope you find the strength to pull through this and learn something you will use later on in your life. Be strong now more than ever and Always look foward! Like my fortune cookie told me the other day: "Instead of dwelling on the past, move foward constructively." Indeed."

And why did I heed such awesome advice, because it wasn't preachy and it wasn't just someone calling me a "****ing pussy" as Zarathu so tactfully words it. By the way thats spectacular advice Zarathu. What method did you use to come up with those great words of wisdom?

I apologise Mathias, your advice is sound, and I think its clear to all who the jerk is around here. Just a thought people, if you want to laugh at someone’s misfortune then thats your own sick pleasure, but do you really have to rub it in their face. That my friends, is my definition of bullying. Tell me I'm wrong.

And if you do tell me I'm wrong, I hope you're words speak of an opposite feeling that has not yet surfaced from your subconscious mind and that there is some decency lurking down there.

Keep working on that maturity thing people, maybe one day you'll get there. I on the other hand am happy to remain in the land of immaturity and simply be your guide on your path to enlightenment.

[Prodigal]

I do believe the whole letter thing was wrong Zach. This is not in any way your fault. You shouldn't be apologizing or trying to make things better for you because you didn't **** anything up. That's her problem. If she wants to do something about it, then that's her choice to make. But honestly, she is not worth your time, your thoughts, your angst. I think you're better than her, and it's a matter of detaching yourself. Somebody better will come along. Come to terms with the situation and move on. Enjoy other aspects of your life... have fun with hobbies.. something. She's not worth it, and definitely not worth that letter. She should have given you something like that, and I think if you did receive something like that from her that you should have shoved it in her face.

To repeat myself: SHE IS NOT WORTH IT.

I do agree with Mathias and Zarathu, despite their nonsympathetic stance that they take.. that is because they don't like that approach that you are taking. You may be seeing it as very hostile or non-helpful.. they're giving you the 'tough love' approach. But they are right in what they are trying to advise you to do: you gotta move on from this and NOT look back.

[Sooky]

I totally agree Prodigal. I'm glad to see there's still people out there that can put together some well thought out advice without resorting to petty name-calling and childish drawings.

She isn't worth you time Zach. Just like some of the jerkier people on here are not really worth my time.... (I confess I'm bored and this is the best distraction I have. Its just some people on this board make such tempting targets. =P)

Anyway, I agree with Prodigal. And trust me I know how hard it can be to move on, and it must be even harder for you as you all live so close and everything. But you can do it! Please try and believe that. You can get past this!

Fight back against emotions! They are the enemy at this point! Use all the distractions at your command to fight against them!

Remember - Never Give Up Never Surrender!

[Zach]

So do I write another one saying Im not sorry or just forget everything and let them think they won?

I dont know.

[Mathias]

Ok, Mathias, I apologise to you, though it seems you've also missed my point. Its not your advice I have a problem with, its your methods (well the methods of certain people, who will remain nameless). Your advice here is very good and I admit I'd have to agree that cutting off all contact and trying to move on in a positive way is best. In my own break-up this has turned out to be the best way forward.

In fact Zach himself gave me that very advice soon after I posted about my break up blues and it was by far the best advice I received.

" I hope you find the strength to pull through this and learn something you will use later on in your life. Be strong now more than ever and Always look foward! Like my fortune cookie told me the other day: "Instead of dwelling on the past, move foward constructively." Indeed."

And why did I heed such awesome advice, because it wasn't preachy and it wasn't just someone calling me a "****ing pussy" as Zarathu so tactfully words it. By the way thats spectacular advice Zarathu. What method did you use to come up with those great words of wisdom?

I apologise Mathias, your advice is sound, and I think its clear to all who the jerk is around here. Just a thought people, if you want to laugh at someone’s misfortune then thats your own sick pleasure, but do you really have to rub it in their face. That my friends, is my definition of bullying. Tell me I'm wrong.

And if you do tell me I'm wrong, I hope you're words speak of an opposite feeling that has not yet surfaced from your subconscious mind and that there is some decency lurking down there.

Keep working on that maturity thing people, maybe one day you'll get there. I on the other hand am happy to remain in the land of immaturity and simply be your guide on your path to enlightenment.

You do realize there's NO way Zach would listen to us if we were "nice" about it, right?

We've tried that approach. Didn't work.

So, if I need to look like a dick to help the guy, I have no problem with that.

[Sooky]

So do I write another one saying Im not sorry or just forget everything and let them think they won?
I dont know.

I'd strongly recommend that you DON'T contact them again. It'll only prolong your torment Zach. I agree with Vasti its better to cut all contact with them and try your best froget about them and move on.

Sooky: I think although their style may sound harsh, this is sometimes the way males teach each other to be males.

Ok I get that. I really do. I lived with all male housemates at Uni so I know thats how a lot of guys communicate, by exchanging insults and making fun of each other. I think its great how relaxed some guys can be and how they can insult each other constantly and be totally resistant to it. But not all guys are the same, not by any means. Especially when they’re already under intense emotional strain. Why kick someone when they're down? I don’t get it?

Not all girls are the same either. Some are complete lamewads like me that have nothing better to do than to keep typing a load of pointless, meaningless waffle on message boards and some have sense enough not to. I just don't get this sexism that people seem to apply to everything. And maybe I'm a complete weirdo, but thats just how I see things. Sorry.

Anyway, I apologise for my incessant rambling. I'll do my utmost to turn it down a shade. I really should get down to work anyway, but you know what its like when you're working at home, any excuse to avoid work and doss about. =P

Good luck with the advice giving guys. You're the experts. (Zero sarcasm intended. Honest!)

[Kiechi]

I'd strongly recommend that you DON'T contact them again. It'll only prolong your torment Zach. I agree with Vasti its better to cut all contact with them and try your best froget about them and move on.




Ok I get that. I really do. I lived with all male housemates at Uni so I know thats how a lot of guys communicate, by exchanging insults and making fun of each other. I think its great how relaxed some guys can be and how they can insult each other constantly and be totally resistant to it. But not all guys are the same, not by any means. Especially when they’re already under intense emotional strain. Why kick someone when they're down? I don’t get it?

Not all girls are the same either. Some are complete lamewads like me that have nothing better to do than to keep typing a load of pointless, meaningless waffle on message boards and some have sense enough not to. I just don't get this sexism that people seem to apply to everything. And maybe I'm a complete weirdo, but thats just how I see things. Sorry.

Anyway, I apologise for my incessant rambling. I'll do my utmost to turn it down a shade. I really should get down to work anyway, but you know what its like when you're working at home, any excuse to avoid work and doss about. =P

Good luck with the advice giving guys. You're the experts. (Zero sarcasm intended. Honest!)

Don't make me slap you, you crumpet eating fairy.

[Sooky]

Crumpets, fairies.... Ew!!! Yuck!

[Kiechi]

Crumpets, fairies.... Ew!!! Yuck!

Don't play stupid!

[Prodigal]

So do I write another one saying Im not sorry or just forget everything and let them think they won?

I dont know.

No... don't expend any more effort. The more time and energy you expend in this, the more they HAVE won. Screw them. If they try to give you attention back somehow, deny it. This isn't about winning and losing. It's about you getting on with your life. You're 'losing' as long as you stay attached to this.

[Taranee]

Zach, first of all don’t take this personally! I’m not mad at you Zach I’m mad at the DIRT! I'm talking about the same dirt who have turned their backs on you. Or should I say they both kicked you out with the rest of the garbage. So… WHY ON EARTH do you keep on contacting them. What are you trying to achieve? This is what you should have done in the first place:

She dumped you and kicked you while you were down. KICK HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!!!
He kicked you while you were down. KICK HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!!

So now you’re hurt. Yes, I know you will have to face them at school. But come on it’s not like you are married to them or have to raise children with them for the rest of your life.

NO. 1, you should have kicked them out of your life. How do you do that? IGNORE them as if they have an incurable disease. ACT like they do NOT exist.
NO. 2, of course you can forgive them. But like Mathias said “Forgiveness should be in your OWN mind.” You don’t have to announce it to THEM. Do you think they CARE after the way they treated you? I would treat them like they deserve to be treated: like SH*T.
NO. 3, listen to Mathias and Zara.

These 2 are lower than the dust. Look at what they have done to you. And yet you treat them like they’re your parents or royalty or something: “Mommy, why do you gave daddy your candy? It’s wrong mommy. MOMMY IT’S WRONG!!! *crying* WAAAAAH. Look what mommy did... She's wrong... She... Waaaaaah”. Just keep on contacting them Zach: They are fully enjoying your drama performances while you're making a complete fool of yourself.

[Sooky]

Don't play stupid!

No your right. I did pitch the wrong comment there. The right comment to -

Don't make me slap you, you crumpet eating fairy.

Would be- "Thats one of the gayest ****ing things I've ever heard!"

[Zach]

Thank you all for the advice. Even if it was rude and uncalled for, its still advice.
Yeah I am a "pussy" by our societies standards and I don't give a ****. I am cutting contact completely now. No matter what. I have to. Im done. Thank you all for the advice I really appreciate it.

Now, I do you people all think I should lay off the whole relationship idea of just stay single for a long time? I don't know if there are any moral girls around where I live anyways. Hmm.

[Mathias]

Yeah I am a "pussy" by our societies standards and I don't give a ****.

You should.

Improve yourself, dude. Find a way to do it, and get to it. I'm not saying you're broken, but I think you're stuck in neutral, like I said earlier. You don't make an effort to make *yourself* better, you're not going to get better than how you were treated in this situation.

[Mathias]

Zach, first of all don’t take this personally! I’m not mad at you Zach I’m mad at the DIRT! I'm talking about the same dirt who have turned their backs on you. Or should I say they both kicked you out with the rest of the garbage. So… WHY ON EARTH do you keep on contacting them. What are you trying to achieve? This is what you should have done in the first place:

She dumped you and kicked you while you were down. KICK HER OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!!!
He kicked you while you were down. KICK HIM OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!!

So now you’re hurt. Yes, I know you will have to face them at school. But come on it’s not like you are married to them or have to raise children with them for the rest of your life.

NO. 1, you should have kicked them out of your life. How do you do that? IGNORE them as if they have an incurable disease. ACT like they do NOT exist.
NO. 2, of course you can forgive them. But like Mathias said “Forgiveness should be in your OWN mind.” You don’t have to announce it to THEM. Do you think they CARE after the way they treated you? I would treat them like they deserve to be treated: like SH*T.
NO. 3, listen to Mathias and Zara.

These 2 are lower than the dust. Look at what they have done to you. And yet you treat them like they’re your parents or royalty or something: “Mommy, why do you gave daddy your candy? It’s wrong mommy. MOMMY IT’S WRONG!!! *crying* WAAAAAH. Look what mommy did... She's wrong... She... Waaaaaah”. Just keep on contacting them Zach: They are fully enjoying your drama performances while you're making a complete fool of yourself.

Wow. Fantastic.