No more dates?

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Alright, final update. I ended up just talking to her tonight, I couldn't hold it in anymore. So I ended up just telling her right out because I needed to get it out and it went great. We aren't getting together or anyhting, but we're closer than ever. She told me so much I didn't know. She completely opened up to me and told just how important I am to her and how much she loves me. She also said something that made my night, nay my lifetime. She said that maybe sometime down the road there might be something that could develop, but right now she knows she isn't committed enough to make me as happy as I deserve. I just want to tell you all thanks for so much, I'm the luckiest man on Earth to have such an angel in my life and I'll fill you in on any further happenings. Until then I hope I can help you all to be as happy as I am right now.

[Illusional]

this is the reacting that i was hoping you'd recieve. somtiemes things can go your way and other times, they fall apart. you were lucky in that she was feeling the same and i'm happy for you. raverboy

[Killerbabe]

So happy for you. Words can't express. At least someone's truly happy here. ))

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Yeah, I am incredibly lucky. But somehow I knew that even if she wasn't at all interested in me that way, things wouldn't go rotten. We've been through too much and been too close and we're both mature to let so much positive emotion ruin something. I'm pretty much indescribably happy and I feel like I can do anything. My dreams and aspiritions mean little compared to the ultimate goal I have already achieved. I've found someone in which I can place my heart and soul. I am complete.

[Killerbabe]

*Killerbabe deeply moved and impressed*

[Zekk_T_Strife]

It was just the closest way I could describe my feelings. I'll never be able to express them all, but that's just essentially what's my driving force right now. I've been so happy lately that I forgot to eat for the past two days :? . Being so entirely content I forgot that I need to.

[Illusional]

now that you're brought everything out, doesn't it feel so much better? raverboy

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Omg yes, it feels astoundingly better. Now all I have to do to be unimaginably happy is look at her picture which I have sitting next to my computer monitor. She's just the greatest thing thats ever happened to me and now I see what I've been striving for all these years, and its more than worth it.

[Killerbabe]

So you guys already dating?

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Sadly no, but I'm totally cool with that. We talked about it and she wants to wait a while. Now if I would have heard that without a good reason I would've been hurt, but she had a good reason. See, the boyfriends shes had in the past have all been your everyday dime-a-dozen jerks. She's cheated on most of them because of that. She knows that if her and I were to start something that it would have the potential to be something extremely special, the chance to be the true love we're both looking for. But at the moment she isn't happy with herself. There's something about herself that she isn't pleased with and really needs to find herself. She feels that if we were to start something before she settles her inner issues that she would most definately hurt me. I'm glad that she at least is looking ahead and making sure that we would both be mutually happy in a relationship endeavor. I might ask her if she wants to just try maybe one or two simple dates to see how comfy she feels, but I'm not going to pressure her into moving into anything until she's entirely ready. I'll keep you all posted on what happens though.

[Illusional]

i think that she's telling you that she doesn't want to start something to solid because she knows there is a chance that she will hurt you. she's used to guys treating her back and cheating on them doesn't seem to be very difficult with her. maybe getting out of this stage will take a while for her. my thoughts... raverboy

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Yeah, you're probly right, and me wanting something more so badly isn't helping. I talked to her some tonight and she told me that she's pretty much come to expect getting treated like crap by guys. So I think that she's also afraid that having a guy actually care for her like I would she might not know how to respond. I asked her if she would wanna try to go out on a couple dates and at first she got pretty unsure. Then I told her that this wouldn't be exclusive so she wouldn't have to make any kind of commitment just yet, but that it was just a couple casual dates. She's thinking about it but whatever she decides I hope she is able to find a way in which I can make her happier. That's all I truly care about.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

This is the final update I'll be making on this thread. I talked with Karli and my ex Katie the other night and figured out a lot of stuff. See, I felt bad because Karli didn't know what she wanted with me and she doubted her ability to be happy and didn't want me to feel like I failed her. I felt awful but then I talked to Katie about it and with her helping me I was able to figure out a lot of stuff. Ok, first off I would like to say that I love Karli to death, I would do anything and everything for her. Only now I know that I am not IN love with her. I sat back and examined exactly what that entailed and I realized that Karli doesn't always treat me the best. She often makes me sad instead of happy. But I think one of the things that attracts me so much to her is that she's someone who actually needs my help. And I really do love seeing her happy more than anything. So I'm gonna let her know what I found out and make sure she knows that I'm gonna try to be that amazing friend I have been to her but I won't make things awkward or pushy by bringing up being together because I'm really not interested now that I realize I might not be what she needs as a boyfriend and she may not be what I need as a girlfriend. Only time will tell but at the current moment I'm content being single and I don't think that'll change for a while.