Of course you have a right to be upset. Youve talked to her about it but shes got to do something. Let her know you dont appreciate what hes doing and it is having an effect on your relationship. You dont have lay ulitmatums down with her YET-youve got to give her a chance to stop it. He will ALWAYS be in the picture because of the baby-but he doesnt have to be your relationship-Id let her know again how important she is to you and youre understanding of their relationship due to the baby-but if you guys want to continue this relationship there has got to be some boundaries set...
Its not your place to tell him-but Id stress to her that it makes you uneasy him calling all hours of the night and you dont feel its right seeing shes involved with you. Somewhere you have to be firm but look to be the good guy here-try a positive approach with her...
everything happens for a reason...beginning to wonder why.