Not sure what to do!

[GoodTimes]

I am living a tricky moment and would really appreciate your opinions.

Basically, I have developed feelings for a work colleague. I am in control of my emotions. However, I am interested in taking this forward. But I realise the work situation adds extra complications.

We didn't meet in person until last autumn (despite working in the same vicinity for a good few years), but various things have changed and now we seem to be in touch every day.

After we had finally met, a few things happened which gave me the idea that she could be interested in me.

Then I found out she has been single for nearly a year. She's not enjoying it either and has been quite upset apparently. So I naturally put two and two together.

She's naturally very friendly around everyone, but I've been looking for things that she's said or done which could constitute as positive signals.

In her Christmas card to me she wrote a really nice message and thanked me for my 'excellent' work. She does compliment me a lot actually. Just last week she gave me a couple of chocolate biscuit bars while I worked on a routine task for her. I'd never known anyone do that before! It was so nice of her.

She has always emailed a lot since we met. I wanted to wish her well for Christmas, so decided to email about something just before she went off on holiday, and it turned out she had planned to do exactly the same! Coincidence or was she thinking the same as me?

Then first day back after the holidays I was going to email something to say Happy New Year. Then the phone rang and it was her. Just little things like this felt quite encouraging.

I also feel our meetings are quite highly charged. For example, I tend to blush sometimes - and I've noticed she is the same.

And when we speak to each other, she occasionally comes out with some bizarre comments. Does this mean she could be nervous? I go quite shy but she seems the opposite.

Sorry to ramble. I'm just trying to build a picture. What do you make of these things?

I really like her. She's such a nice girl. I'd love to ask her out - but obviously I wouldn't be writing this unless I had a few concerns.

I'm just conscious of making things awkward, especially now we see more of each other. We don't share the same office but it would still be pretty weird if she didn't feel the same.

Also she is older than me so maybe I've just misinterpreted her friendliness and she doesn't see me in the same way at all. I like to think positively but am I being naïve?

But at the same time I am not a coward and am aware that I could stupidly miss out on a beautiful, caring, kind, and very special girl.

I'm very interested in your opinions. Should I hold back and see how things go, at the risk of her finding someone else? Should I take the plunge and tell her how I feel? Maybe I could email and suggest we go out sometime? I'm just not sure.

Thank you!!

[Paranthropus]

How much older is she than you, also sometimes when you have feelings for someone you tend make trivial gestures into meaningful ones.

"She's naturally very friendly around everyone" Don't mistaken her friendliness for feelings towards you. Your case is almost the same as mine.....very weird. Those comment above seem kind of neutral, I think you should play it cool for now.

[Paranthropus]

I just realized I posted in the female section my apologies lol

[michaelmorgan]

Goodtimes...
I like your mature approach to the whole situation.
Try to connect with her as much as possible on things unrelated to your work. Try to share some hobbies for example...I'll give you TWO IDEAS FULLY APPLIABLE:
Try to catch her towards the end of the work hours..when she is supposed to be more relaxed.
Enter her office with a routine stuff...if few people are around you, it's even better. Pass her whatever report you brought, exchange the bla bla whatever, then let a few seconds of silence while you look straight into her eyes and start smiling..."Hey, Lisa...I just remembered something and I had to ask you..I saw you cook great chocolate bars and you write cool Christmas cards..not to mention we seem to call each other at the same time...I was wondering..besides the chocolate bars...what else are you passionate about? OR What do you do to unwind and relax after such a hard day at work... OR "I was watching ABC movie last night (find a romance movie, like Sleepless in Seattle or whatever) and I was wondering..all my female friends cried when they saw Titanic..did you cry too? Why?

The idea is to be friendly and playful and connect with her on everything and anything but work issues.
Now let me share with you just a little dynamite bomb of connection...check out her jewelry, notice if she has some rings on her fingers...tell her "Hey..I love this ring..it fits your energy perfectly...you know, an ex lover told me a mystical explanation about why we wear our wedding rings on that particular finger...it seems that from all our fingers, the ring finger is the only one that has a blood line that connects directly with the heart...and when I as a man and you as a woman come to marry and wear this kind of ring, it says to the world that we fully offered our heart to someone special..anyway, it's nice to discover such knowledge...our ancestors were so smart..."..then you can leave her office, or stay more if the conversation goes on....OF COURSE, the most important part here is that you touch her ring when you compliment her on it, and why not, unintentionally leave your fingers on her ring while you tell the entire story You have just deployed the power of touch, the perfume of a fantasy and the image of a guy so different than what she met before.

Eventually she waits for you to ask her out..you have to be the man here, remember?
So try connecting with her as much as possible, friendly and naturally, see how she responds, position your body gradually closer to her when you see her, see if she pulls back....see her "signals" like brushing her hair, blushing..

Until you do not do this steps, the only difference between the fax machine and her is that she smiles to you. Both of them are friendly and help you at the job, but you need much more of a smile and some card before you go out there in the unknown and...make the move!

Let me know if you need anything else.

[TDurden]

You're going to need to say how old you and this girl are if you want any accurate feedback.

Also, is she a superior? Are you peers?

Would a relationship with a co-worker be frowned upon by the higher-ups?

The thing is that work relationships can get very messy, for so many reasons. It's hard to give any specific advice seeing as you gave very little specifics besides her behavior. That said, I would avoid trying to pursue dating this girl unless you're positive she feels the same and you're sure it wouldn't jeopordize your work.

[vashti]

I don't think it is a good idea to sleep with coworkers.

[GoodTimes]

Thank you all very much for your help.

One thing lead to another this week and we're going to go out sometime.

It's funny, it wasn't planned, just happened. I gave her my number, she returned the favour, and said I was welcome to call her anytime.

She seems really keen which is brilliant. Maybe my instincts were right on this one?

[Gigabitch]

....and you still haven't told us whether she's your superior or how much older she is.

Does it take that long to type it out? Come on!