Marriage.. do guys think its a joke?

[Shambo2]

So my boyfriend was drinking and confessed his desire to be with me for the rest of his life. He busted out how he knew almost right away after he had met me, that he knew he wanted to spend of his life with me. We have been seeing each other for the past 8 months, and our relationship is really odd. (Here's a little backround...we met through his mother... we both work full time, I also have a part time job.. both on sports leagues..he's going to school full time.. he's 24, and Im 20, so that means he can go to the bars without me...but we just dont have enough time in the day to see each other all the time, let alone talk everyday... but Im ok with that, because I know that there is nothing that I can do about it at this point...) I know that I care about him very deeply.. to the extent of no other...and I could see myself marrying him...Why? I dont know, but I think thats the best part honestly...

Back to the story...I know that he doesnt see other girls, and what not... but busting out that he wanted to marry me? I made the mistake of getting kind of excited about it because he was all for it...he had already told his parents, called his friends.. the whole 9 yards... i asked him how long he has been thinking about this, and he had said (like I mentioned earlier) that he knew almost instantly that he wanted to be with me and that he cant see himself with anyone else because of all that we have been through with each other in these past few months... he told me that when he goes out with his buddies, all he does is think that "All I want to do is go home and call you.. and who do I call? You... exactly.." He also claimed that he knew whole heartedly that it was exactly what he wanted.... so we talked about it, and how it would have to be a long engagement, I mean come on, we have only been seeing each other for 8 months, personally thats not enough time for me....but maybe it is? I dont know.... I even mentioned that if we got married, I would want him to sign a pre-nup.. and he said that he would do anything if that means that he would be married to me... aww so sweet huh!? yeah i know....

Soooo I ended up staying the night, and i had previous plans, so I woke him up, told him I was leaving and then left him there sleeping... his mother wakes him up and goes "I suppose that there should be a congratulations in order"... and he goes.. "No".... so he goes and calls his friends back and told them to disregaurd any phone calls made to them from the night before...

... I didnt talk to him all day... I had to hear that from his mother...so how does that make me feel? Like a POS... is this just a joke to him? Do people who are drinking say what is on their mind or just lie? (personally I know that I am not capable of lying... sober or drinking)... so I dont know how to take this...it was probably just the beer talking... but how do I know that hes not feeling below the surface and hes just scared because women have hurt him in the past....

How do I deal with this situation? It is grounds upon breaking up with him because he is screwing with my heart? Is it even a relationship considering we only see each other a max of twice a week? I need some help and direction in this matter... but heres the kicker.. Im willing to wait/take things slow with him... and Im not ready to give up on him like others have done in the past... he doesnt hurt me, this is the first situation that him and I have been in where he has "hurt" my feelings... I dont know..

HELP ME PLEASE?!!

[Junket]

Maybe he put some thought into it after the fact and is starting to second guess himself.

Doesn't sound like you were too keen in getting married anyway, so I think you got a lucky break.

[vashti]

Why on earth would you believe anything someone says when they are drinking? I think you jumped the gun. That's okay, though, because 8 months is too soon anyway.

[misombra]

yeah but he told all his family and friends and all that. he's crazy. i think he's the one jumping the gun...

[vashti]

I bet he lied about telling his friends and family (unless he also did that when he was drunk).

Anyway, yeah... he's crazy.

[Zach]

8 Months is way to short. I think you should talk to him again and tell him everything your thinking. Make sure he knows your not even close to ready for marriage. I wouldn't end the relationship over this though, and maybe lay off the alcohol. (for him of course)

[Gigabitch]

Did he or did he not tell all of his family and friends that he wanted to marry you before he was drunk? Did you give him the impression that your relationship was nobody's business but yours? maybe he told his mom, "No" because you felt uncomfortable about the whole thing.

(I would like to insert here that I concur with everyone who's said that 20 is too young to settle down)

Anyway, have you ever been seriously drunk? You know, sometimes you wake up a little unclear about what happened while you were 'faced. Generally, though, people tend to be more truthful when they're drunk, not less.

I don't see anything he's done that would lead me to conclude that he was messing with you. That's your own injured pride or insecurity or something.

[koolwhip]

first of all, life is like a pen, you can write something with it, but never erase it.

second of all, he was drinking, and although you might think that only a few shots wouldn't help influence choices, it will... a whole lot.

third, if he has already contacted his parents and everything, than he really loves you and theres no doubt about it you should go marry him.



though, If YOU feel something wrong in your relationship, dont be afraid to tell him, guys take it as an insult to not say something, or not tell the truth about something.

[The Great OV!!!]

It's all rushed. You people are rushing it, hell, even this post seemed rushed to me.

[Masterofmind69]

Eight months is way too short and you're too young to get married at 20 or even engaged. I say two to three years at least. I think a good age is around 26 to 28 especially these days so many people getting divorced. If you have any doubts at all don't simple plain and easy. You don't have to see someone everyday to be with them let alone a few times a week. It's how you spend the time with them. If he pressures you then let him know and if he keeps it up I would start walking away. People rush into something usually because there is something wrong trust me on that.