Ok so theres this girl Ive known for 3 or so years.
When we met, we had no interest in eachother as more than friends.
After a year or so, she would hint that she liked and eventually loved me.
I was not ready for a relationship at the time, i was still...finding myself i guess. She later told me that I had broke her heart. But after that she had to move away.. sometime about 1 year ago, and at that point we lost communication.
About 3 months ago, she called me and we would talk for hours at a time...
She started calling me her husband, and she would talk about our plans of marriage... so i figured she liked me...But after 2 weeks of talking, I was desperate for her. I would constantly carry my cell phone, waiting for her call, even if we had just hung up minutes before. I constantly had her on my mind. I took things slow, and eventually i told her i liked her. She said it was cute and teased me about it. It hurt but w/e. The next day, she got a boyfriend.
At this point I was extremely confused. I hoped it was just another fling or something. But eventually i told her that I loved her. Like more than anything in the world and all that. She promptly replied that I couldnt like her more than a friend, because she was in love... with her bf...
So i backed off.
Weeks went by and she invited me to come visit her house 3 hours away.
I didnt hesitate, of course I went.
At first it was semi akward, but in no time she and I were flirting like crazy. Playing little play fight games with our hands, and hugging for 10 minutes at a time. I was in heaven.
I instantly fell for her again. On the drive home i was completely love struck, and I was happy for the first time in weeks.
She called me the next day. I thought she liked me back or something... but in mid conversation she started talking about how great her boyfriend was and all that stuff. I didnt even know what to think at this point...
Currently I am confused, disoriented, depressed, and my heart is burning.
What the hell am i supposed to do?
I dont want to be in love with her if she isnt going to love me back... but she keeps leading me on and shes really messing with my head.
Im trying to keep myself away from her so I can be less.... pathetic about this whole situation, but I dont want to love anybody else. I dont want to forget about her.
Im so confused and idk whats going on.
btw this is my first LOVE can you tell?
any help would be nice