Men and women and heartbreak

[surfnsand]

How do men and women act and feel they break up with a partner, and how can each side understand the other?

Not all people are the same but in general:

When a man breaks up he is saying that the passion is gone.
OR
You are driving me crazy and I don't think it's fixable.


When a woman breaks up she is saying i have dreams and you are getting in the way of them.
OR
You are driving me crazy and I don't think it's fixable.

So, why do we fight to win eachother back when the facts are there?
Well, sometimes it's a bit ambiguous...often to soften the blow...or there is still love which makes the pain and guilt of a separation tougher.

I'd say there are few relationships that are worth coming back and fighting for - but we do fight and kill ourselves!
unless a person that HAS HAD YOUR BACK, and YOU HAD THEIRS - and someone want a few months off to see if they have it in them to go for the long haul
it's probably not worth the anguish we innevitably give it.

The rest we must just run and wait til we cool down and can think clearly while hormones settle back down...

So, what do you think MEN and WOMEN want and feel during a break-up and how would you/or have you gotten them back?

[Gigabitch]

I want to feel like it's not my fault. I'm historically a big beater-of-dead-horses because of this. I will wring out the last drop of potential from a relationship and leave it's dead husk lying in the road with a neon sign that says "Not My Fault" over it.

[Charlie Boy]

I like to feel like I've "won" the relationship. That I have sampled her genetic material and found it doesn't match up to my genetic material so it's time for me to move on up and find something better and for her to go down the DNA escalators. That's what I like.

[surfnsand]

funny. and somehow...true...

[Gribble]

I feel incredibly guilty at first. Then the guilt gives way to anger. At that point if I'm not careful I can easily say something horrible to her. And then I forget.

[surfnsand]

So, often saying something "horrible" is last stage before moving on for you? i've heard anger is action and all that...i don't get angry very often though...

[clynn]

It depends on whether you're the dumper or the dumpee..........