What was his motive?

[Secondhand Love]

I know, I haven't introduced myself yet. But I plan to do that next, don't fret. I have this problem, and I will try to explain it as simply as I can.




I have been friends with this guy since about 6th grade, and now we're both in our freshman year of high school. I've always been the one to stand back instead of approaching or making a move on a guy I like. My friends all the time would comment on how I flirted with "Jack". They said we should just stop playing around and date. So while we were out on Christmas break I called him up and asked if he would like to go see a movie. We did, and nothing happened. By this I mean nothing; we barely even talked to each other. On the way home I asked him if he ever considered trying to be more than friends with me. He didn't even answer. When he was dropped off he barely even muttered a farewell.

Yeah, it kind of hurt me. We didn't talk for a few weeks, we avoided each other. Then somehow we started talking again and went back to our usual ways. At the beginning of Februaury we were texting and he asked why I hadn't been at school. I told him why and asked if he had missed me (just joking around.) He responded back and said yes. So somehow he asked me out, and there you go. We started dating. So the next day at school it felt reat walking aaround with him finally as my boyfriend. I had wanted this to happen for about a year. "Jack" was really nice, just like I had expected him to be. My friends weren't shocked when they seen us holding hands and stuff, they knew it would happen eventually.

The next day was a snow day. He sent me a text early that morning that said "Let's forget the past few days." I wasn't thinking straight since I was still half-asleep. I asked him what he meant and went back to bed. I got up around noon and he stll hadn't replied. I figured he was out in the snow or something. I got dressed and went outside with some friends to go sledding and stuff. I completely forgot all about it until that night when I checked my phone and he still had not replied. The next day at school was when I found out he had actually meant 'it's over.' So, yeah, I was pretty torn up. The guy I liked had dumped me over a text. How lame. But he wouldn't tell anyone why.

So I had tried to put this behind me, but it was really hard. Why, I don't know. We aren't even talking to each other now. We're basically enemies. He finally talked to someone about it (who was put undercover by one of my best friends.) He said he wanted to just be friends with me, he didn't want to ruin our friendship. Well, his plan didn't work out so well now did it? I've made two efforts (which in my case is two efforts too many) to try to talk to him. But he won't listen. I can't stand not being friends with him. I'm so bipolar about the whole thing. I want to slap him for making me cry, yet I want to try my best to be friends again.

I want to know if his 'reason' was the truth, or if anyone thinks he's lying. Should I make one last effort to try and smooth things over or just leave him behind? I will really appreciate the help, so any opinions are welcome. Just please don't be too cruel about it.

Thanks

[Gigabitch]

Ouch! You are so sensitive, I would recommend steering clear of him for a while. He's clearly a little rough with your feelings.

Someday, you can go back and get closure, but for now I think you should protect yourself and just stay away from him.

[YourBestFriend]

Well, you knew you were risking losing your friend by trying to turn him into your boyfriend, didn't you?
(I do not mean to sound harsh or anything, just pragmatic)

You should give him one more try by trying to talk to him.

If that fails, just give him some time, and keep off

[Secondhand Love]

Thanks a lot for the advise! I understand what you mean YourBestFriend, I was risking our friendship when we started dating. But I never thought he would act like this.

And Gigabitch, I am very sensitive. Even the slightlest things can bring me to tears.

I might try to talk to him tomorrow, but how should I go about it? We have a class together, but that's about the only time I see him during the day. I couldn't make myself delete his number from my phone, so I still have it too. Would it be better to approach him or call him?

[Gigabitch]

Which would be less likely to result in you bursting into tears? That can be pretty mortifying.

IMO, your friendship is beyond repair anyway. You can't unsay the things you've said.

Please remember if he acts like a jackass that he's just confirming what you already know. This is not the big surprise betrayal. maybe that will help you keep a hold of yourself.

[clynn]

Sometimes there just aren't reasons.

Except the reason that "boys are dumb"

I like that one.

[Prodigal]

Maybe you should let him come to you. If you've tried twice already and it hasn't worked, I think it is reasonable to say that the ball is on his side of the court to keep the friendship together. Or maybe if you try one more time, let him know that you're not going to try anymore. Maybe he is not ready to come back as friends yet... he may need some more time. I think you may, too.

[YourBestFriend]

Remember, be strong.

Whatever way you are going to approach him, don't let the tears burst, as you will look desperate and weak, giving him a chance to hurt you...

We don't want that, do we?

[speaktoafriend]

If you haven't alread said antying to him. Don't, you have done your part as you said two efforts too many. It's his turn to be atleast be a friend and acknowledge your existence if not give it time and if need be let it go. Save your self from more pain.