How to help my friend?

[remini]

I really can't find anyway to help my friend. We were supposed to do a lot of things together, but all of a sudden she just disappeared. She has disappeared from the earth for very long time, and I didn't know why, until I recieved her email reply recently...

She said that she has got too much going on in her life to deal with, so
she kind of just want to solve her own problems first, and she also asked me not to ask her about what happened to her. However, she did tell me that she was suffering for depression symdrome, such as hearing her heavy heartbeats and unable to breathe, and she was terrified by that!

Now I am really worrying about her. I sent her some long e-mails to
suggest her the ways to deal with it, and she said she would like to try.
However, she just disappears again. She doesn't tell me about her situation,
and she never tells me what really happens to her, so I really don't know
how to help her.

I sent her an e-mail again for every week. I has sent her some articles to read, and I've invited her to join the school party on this weekend, but I never got any of her response I am really confused now. If she can tell me that she is suffering now, why doesn't she refuse to let me help her? and why can't she tell me what happen to her? and why she has to avoid to see me when she is down? Don't we want to get along with our good friends when we are upset? and in this kind of situation, how can I help her? You know, I just can't sit here and see my friend suffering, so I really need to do something...

Can you reslove the mystery? If we all can't find out what is going on,
what is the best way to support her, or at least cheer her up? or at least get her response again???
:?:

[joseph]

The only source of contact is through email. The only we thing we can do is wait for her reply. I don't think we could do anything to resolve this. If you got her phone number or anything else, we could do something to find her.

[remini]

Thank you for the suggestion! I have her phone number, but I can never reach her through it since she disappeared. I know where she lives. She is also on my icq list.

Actually I've found the contact information of her roommates and friends from the school directory, but I am hesitate to contact them, because I think it is better to talk with her directly.

[joseph]

In situation where thing get critical, you should think twice what you should do. Contacting her friends will probably link you to another conclusion what 's she is up to nowadays... and what is being bothering her that she never tell you...

[remini]

Thank you so much for the suggestion. I think you are right! I am going to contact her roommate now, because no matter what the consequence will be, it is the only way to solve the dilemma and help her. If anything happens, I will post here!!!

[joseph]

Good luck, pal.

[remini]

I have recieved her roommate's reply, but it only makes the situation more confused! Her roommate said that she has moved out and graduated from the school! I didn't know that at all! I am surprised, because my friend told me that she would graduate next year, and she even said that she would see me at the school! Also, her roommate said that it is hard for her to contact with her as well. So, I really feel very confused. I don't know if her roommate is trying to hide something, or she knows not much as well.

I don't know if my friend still suffer very much now, or maybe she just wants to be alone for a while. Last Friday I've invited her to the party of our department on this Saturday, but she hasn't replied. I don't know if I should send her an e-mail again today, or maybe I should just be silent to her for a while... I mean in the party she can know many people in the graduate level, and that will make her more clearly about her career goal, which is indeed of help to solve party of what she is worrying now. I really don't know...

[Killerbabe]

OK, that's just my opinion but I think her roommate might know more than she told you. People don't graduate just like that. If she did, then probably she DOES have some really weird problems. maybe she's in a clinic or a hospital. Maybe she just doesn't want anyone to know anything about it.
Something you can do: e-mail her. Don't ask her questions, just tell her how much you're missing her and how much her roommate misses her. Tell her how much everyone loves her and is worried about her. Be extremely kind, and avoid a worried tone. If she really is suffering from a depression, that will be the best way to contact her. If you find out where she lives you can also send some flowers or candy. That would really cheer her up, which is step #1 to overcoming depression.

[remini]

Thank you so much for the advice! I will try it, and I will post here if I get newer information about her!