What to do?

[kitsch405]

I've had a friend that I've met at school here about 8 months. When I met her, I was immediately attracted to her and felt a good connection. I had a girlfriend at the time, however, so I took it as just a friendly bond. I'm pretty reserved, of course, but she would always insist that I come with her around to little gatherings and parties, and we'd always have very good, intimate conversations. I was never sure if she was just being friendly or if she was pursuing something with me, and I'm still not completely sure, but when I finally broke up with the girlfriend I had, she immediately advanced on me, blatantly hitting on me and even asked me to kiss her once in a heated moment.

As much as I hated to, I refused, for two reasons. For one, I had just broken up with my girlfriend of two years just days before, and also because I knew she was seeing something casually at the time, and I was suspicious of her intentions. I should have handled the situation a little better and gave a clear explanation, but I think she took the rejection as just that, rejection. She then proceeded to continue into a relationship with the person she was seeing casually. I regretted the whole thing, but I just couldn't deal with it at the time.

Somehow, through having mutual friends, we warmed up to each other again, but in a friendly way. There is still this feeling of attraction, or tension there I think. She broke up with the guy about a month ago, and I've been getting little cues (although I did while they were dating too). Things such as her being very touchy with me, whenever I sleep at her apartment she always ends up sleeping with me. She goes out on dates on occasion, but seems to feel awkward discussing them with me. When we are alone, she's noticably shy (although I am as well).

These are reasons that I feel she might still be interested, but I also fear that she senses that I have these feelings for her, and that is the reason she acts strangely with me, out of being weirded out or something but still wanting to be friends. I'm not sure. I know she wanted to hook up at least way back, but I'm not sure if that remains or if she just sees me as this brotherly, friend character now who should not be trying to "make a move".

I just don't know how to approach the situation, I care about her very much now, especially since I've gotten to know her better. I'm not about to "confess" my feelings to her, because she's not the kind of person who responds to that, she's sort of strange about people in that sense (I know because its happened to her before with a few other people). I might just bite the bullet and ask her out, as much as it might feel innappropriate and possibly result in our friendship being screwed up a bit, I don't think resorting to being friends with someone you have deeper feelings for is a good thing for either person.

Does this sound like a good idea? Any advise on what to do?

[senatorbob10]

Ok, you're approaching this all wrong. Here's your game plan:

1) Approach her at a social event and proceed in making out with her among the throngs of people. That way, your relationship will be publicly announced without the hassle of rumors and back-slashing.

2) After a few days, and hopefully a few adventures in the bedroom, you'll probably be ready to marry this gal...if you still have that firy connection established. Make sure you select a clean, romantic restaurant, engage in the classic one-knee proposal pose, and pop the question.

3) Flee to Las Vegas and quickly take your vows at a walk-in marraige chapel. The cermony will be quick and inexpensive, plus your honeymoon will be right there waiting for you in glorious Vegas!

4) After about another week, your wife will hopefully have had a few children. Now its time to start thinking about the future (oh brother).

5) Tah-dah! How to go from zero to hero in 2 weeks!

[kitsch405]

Zing! What are you implying exactly?

[Gigabitch]

kitsch, I think you should hold off. It sounds like you're not the same kind of available right now. Single does not necessarily mean available.

You sound like the boyfriend type and she sounds like the hookup type, at least for right now. Maybe you're colder than you seem, but to me you seem like you could get pretty hurt in this situatiuon.

She's already shown you how she behaves when she's got a boyfriend. You really want to be that guy? I don't want you to be that guy, and come back here in three months with an "Is She Cheating on Me?" thread.

She's clearly offering some fun. Take it or leave it, but don't mistake it for anything else.