>>1) YOU have to get the bills changed. It is your responsibility to do this. You do not leave your name on bills that you used to share with your ex. Period. To expect a man you've just walked out on to take care of such a thing is unreasonable, and makes women everywhere look stupid.<<
Indeed. And I had every intention in the world of doing this, however I felt the same deep pity and caring for Ath that everyone here has felt. When I brought up cutting everything off his reaction was to please not take away his cable and electricity. He had no way of getting these things into his own name without paying quite a bit of money that he did not have. I am not heartless (although perhaps I would benefit a bit more if I were) and after much thought decided that to leave him with nothing at all would be horrid. I left him all the furniture, I left him his utilities. I did not want him to suffer. I am more than well aware of my responsibilities, and had there been a way to get these items changed over without a detrimental effect to Ath I would certainly had done it. Had I had the money, I would even have paid for it myself.
>>2) You can't change men. Well, when they're babies, you can change their diapers, but after that, forget it. In my experience, they may change when you leave them, but they will not change if you stay. Why the **** should they? <<
Agreed. This was never in question.
>>3) Make a clean break or commit to staying and working it out. Anything else is unfair.<<
Also agreed. Unfortunately I have a heart and that got in the way of my common sense. When you spend the amount of time together that Ath and I have a deep bond develops and to leave him but also leave him in the hole financially seemed more cruel than I could bear. I would never, ever have imagined that he would intentionally attempt to screw me over. I am still holding on to the hope that all of this is mere oversight on his part. I only came to these boards because I knew this is how I could reach him. I am truly and honestly sorry that I had to do it this way.