What're the recurring problems in your relationship??

[Charlie Boy II]

Me and my girl had a huge spat on the weekend. We laid out everything on the line - what about our relationship really gave us the shits.

Her problems with me:
- I often come off as disinterested when she's talking to me
- It's always her doing what I want to do, her going out with me and my friends etc.
- She doesn't feel like a big priority in my life. Like I just fit her into the gaps, sort of thing.
- I can be rude at times. Mainly my sense of humour,which can be a bit biting.

My problems with her:
- I pay for everything. I work six days a week, she goes to uni and has no job. She acts like it's my job to support her lifestyle. I'm sick of her mooching off me.
- She has no license and very little appreciation for the amount of driving I do usually in peak city traffic to pick her up, drop her home again.
- She can get too self-absorbed in her own problems.

It looked like a break-up fight, but afterwards we got everything out of our systems neither of us were the slightest bit angry. She even wanted to shout me dinner!

So I was wondering whether other people have similar problems.... what are the main things that ****s you off about your partner and vice versa?

[clynn]

That he is not verbally very affectionate. He does nice things for me. And we talk a lot on the phone.

But he isn't even the slightest bit mushy. And once in a while I would like a little bit of mush. Otherwise I'm wondering....hmmmmm?????

[Charlie Boy II]

Yes but what about you shits him?

Also wtf is "mush"?

[vashti]

My husband thinks I am too unromantic. I think he should have married someone less independent because he really likes the "damsel in distress" arrangement.

In the end, I think all people have a certain amount of "crap" associated with them. It is just a matter of whose crap you can stand the most.

[clynn]

Yes but what about you shits him?

Anything about ME that shits him is HIS fault, not mine. Because I'm perfect and if he doesn't know it, he is foolish!

Also wtf is "mush"?

Like saying sweet things, giving compliments, sharing the occasional fond remembrance.


Oh, and ANOTHER thing.....his feet STINK.

[Glyph]

Don't really have one at present, technically, but as for my ex:

He didn't like that I was as distant as I was. I don't need to be implanted up someone's ass 24/7, and in fact, I hate that. I like keeping my own life, my own friends, etc. He also didn't like how blunt I can be. When we'd get into arguments, I'd pull no punches. Even when we weren't in arguments, I still pulled no punches.

I didn't like: his constant playing games and having friends over (all of whom messed my house up constantly); his insecurity about everything I said that wasn't high praise about him; the way his parents ALWAYS took care of everything for him so that when it came time for him to solve a problem, he was completely lost; the way he handled money (terribly).

I suppose it's apparent why we're "ex".

[NeoSeminole]

can't say. I haven't found anyone worth entering a relationship with.

[Gigabitch]

My problems:
1) He's very compartmentalized- doesn't switch gears easily if he's in "production mode", whereas I like to take a two-minute make-out break occasionally.
2) I get annoyed by his cat. She has terrible manners (because she wasn't trained well) and she's at death's door, so it's all about feeling sorry for her and denying her nothing. I want to put her furry ass in the oven.

His problems:
1) I don't doubt that he's tired of my drama with my ex-husband regarding child custody and whether or not I'm going to get stuck here in NM, but he's too kind to say so.
2) I bug him when he's busy (see My Problems, #1)

[Gribble]

Frequently talking on the phone. I hate it.
Spending extensive time together. I want to do my own thing now and then, and sometimes she isn't invited.
Intimacy. No thanks. I don't need nor want any of that mushy crap.
Obligations. I don't like owing anything to anyone, and I don't want anyone owing anything to me. That seems to be what relationships are all about. Owing.
Sleeping together. This goes both ways. I am an extremely light sleeper. Even the sound of breathing is enough to disturb me. The slightest movement or touch jolts me out of sleep. Once I wake up I have an extremely difficult time falling back asleep.
When I do sleep I tend to flail wildly, laugh, scream, talk, and occasionally leap out of bed in a state of bewildered terror. Tends to disturb whoever's in bed with me.

[clynn]

But you don't have/want a girlfriend, right Gribble?

[vashti]

When I do sleep I tend to flail wildly, laugh, scream, talk, and occasionally leap out of bed in a state of bewildered terror. Tends to disturb whoever's in bed with me.

It wouldn't if she just whacked you in the head really hard with a steel toed boot.

[tooxshort]

cultural differences ...

just today, I told her that I gave out invitations for our wedding ...

She asked me if I filled out the RSVP card thing and I said,"I don't need them to RSVP, I'm sure I can keep track of the people flying all the way across the globe for our wedding."

She tells me it's their ticket to get into the wedding reception ...

I get all annoyed because I'm studying for my last final (graduation tomorrow!) and say,"Since when does an RSVP card turn into a wedding ticket?"

Then she just gets pissed and now I'm studying all irked the **** out ...

[Converse]

Girlfriend flipping out at me some times because I "Go off and flirt with guys" apprently. I don't at all, I just have a lot of guy friends. She has trust issue's and I'm the one who should have trust issue's lol! I'm laid back and don't get pissed alot of the time. This only happens after a few drinks...

She's not coming to the rock fest with us so I can do what I want (I can anyway but at least I wont feel on a leesh, or like a little bitch). Apart from all that I do love her! She's awesome just annoying when drunk.

[Tiay]

my problems:

• I can be rude without realising it ( very)
• I say the blatantly obvious (i'm working on it though)
• My mind runs away with me
• I put too much pressure on him


his problem:
• endless indecisiveness;
> Yes, you can book the ticket - I book the ticket – ...or maybe not after all – more drama – I can't wait for you to come!
> I'm going out tonight – no, I decided not to go, i'm too tired – oh, btw, last night, I went out after all.
> I'm going to find an apartment – no, I decided I wont – hey, btw, I signed the lease on my new apartment..
> Yes, you coming to the city for the summer sounds great you can stay with me – I apply to the student work programme thing, go to the US embassy, I pay lots of money, get insurance, get flights, and then – WAIT, no, you can't!

Aaaaa! he does this with a lot of things, and with major decisions, he even re-decides more than twice. Whenever he can, he keeps all the options open so that he can do plenty of changing his mind between them- and it is not just that he isn't sure about me, it seems to apply to everything. This is the SAME pattern that got me on LF in the first place. In the end it always turns out alright.. but it is really annoying.

I really can't think of any other problems, though. besides that, he's awesome to me