That is just so awful man, I am truly shaken to read this.
Her spirit/memory will be with you for a long time, as I'm sure you know. Though I cannot possibly imagine the heartache you are feeling right now, my naive philosophy tells me that this woman would want nothing but the absolute best life possible for you. Take it slow. Take it easy. Get rest. Get exercise. Be with friends. Talk to us here. Eat great! Again, it may seem silly to you but I feel that the world wants to heal you of this and that you will come out very strong and wisened from it in the long run. But it will take time.
I am sorry I cannot offer anything more than a bunch of bullshit, but we're here for you. Really.