Is this a problem?

[ibme]

Or am I making it one?


I have been going out with a girl for months, we are getting on great.

We were introduced through someone we were both friends with. However I seen this friend for about a month, including sex. Things werent going to work out so we stayed friends and she introduced me to her friend.

We both still speak to the friend occasionally, my gf more than me. A couple of times I have seen the friend on her own, nothing has ever happened since we seen each other originally.

My gf doesnt know that we seen each other. She has never asked and ive never told her about it. Its annoying me though. Its like a secret im keeping from her. I dont know if she would be bothered or not - what happened in the past was in the past. But then its weird we still see each other at the moment even just as friends.

What if she suddenly decides to tell her about the past? She will ask why I didnt tell her. Would she dump me?

So should I tell her or just forget about it and leave it?

[anachronistic]

A fool asks what he/she didn't want to know.

Avoid the topic, and if she asks, or starts telling you about her own past, change the subject asap.

[Gigabitch]

The past is the past, but what you're doing is seeing her occasionally behind your girlfriend's back NOW.

Do you see the difference?

Then = okay
Now = NOT okay.

Stop it right now.

[anachronistic]

The past is the past, but what you're doing is seeing her occasionally behind your girlfriend's back NOW.

Do you see the difference?

Then = okay
Now = NOT okay.

Stop it right now.

Did I misread something about the original post? Is this guy doing shit behind his woman's back right now? Or is this all in the past?

[Gigabitch]

Kinda hard to tell with the shoddy English, here, but I think this means he still sees her alone sometimes:

A couple of times I have seen the friend on her own, nothing has ever happened since we seen each other originally.

My gf doesnt know that we seen each other.

What if she suddenly decides to tell her about the past? She will ask why I didnt tell her. Would she dump me?

I believe the girlfriend would conclude that since the OP kept the dirty secret about the past, he's very likely to be keeping a dirty secret about the present as well. She won't believe that nothing has happened.

[ibme]

Gigabitch - you missunderstand!!!

I meant meet up for coffee, play tennis etc... My gf has always known!!!

You are right though Gigabitch, if she knew we had seen each other in the past would she trust us meeting in the future, even if it was harmless?

[Gigabitch]

Gigabitch - you missunderstand!!!

No, I don't. I don't think you're still sleeping with her.

You are right though Gigabitch, if she knew we had seen each other naked, naked, naked in the past would she trust us meeting in the future, even if it was harmless?

There, I fixed your post.

IMO, she will never, never be able to get past the fact that you kept your sexual history with this girl a secret. I certainly wouldn't.

Example: my boyfriend has a very close female friend that he slept with a couple of times in the past, years ago. I have NO problem with that whatsoever, because I know about it. If I didn't know about it, and it suddenly came out, I would feel betrayed and suspicious, wondering why he would have kept such a thing secret, and I would conclude that his relationship with her was more than "just friends".