hold on to your ignorance by way of inexperience. never love. don't even think about it. stay single for ever. it may be very good to have true love, but the price you pay is inconcievable. you will hurt for the rest of your life. i had my first with a girl when i was 14, we did everything together and did it everywhere. on mountaintops over looking beautiful sun sets, under the board walk at seaside heights, in the ocean by tropical island , I remember us walking along the beach and I lifted two large stones on a bolder onto a bolder and said to vickie lets come back in ten years and see if they are still together. it hurts even now as i think of her. how i wish i could hold her, fall asleep in perfect contientment with my head snuggled against her chest. we were in serperable for so long. she just wanted to see what else is out there before we settled down. I know that we could never be to gether again and i almost cant deal with it. when we try to be friends it never works out...ie hang out at a clubs, mutual friends or even a family oriented event; we find ourselfs looking at eachother and we start thinking of were can we run off to where no one will see us. that smile, that face, those soft tender lips, i could ever resist, nor would i try., when we look at eachother we smile, and something just clicks i dont know. we have messed up several of eachothers realtionships because of this. we even go through spells when we dont talk to eachother because of it. but one of us sees or emails and the whole cycle restarts. you might ask me what do i think i want? i want every memory of her erased from my mind. and i want to smell the sent of her hair in my pillow after she leaves. I want to stop pretending i'm with her when i'm with someone else. i want to stop having dreams at night of her like were marries and so happy and wakin up alone calling out her name. i want to not be crying while writing this. i want her to read this and understand that i love her. and i know that who ever i am with; i am alone with out her. I will love you, untill my dying day we broke up after 6 years. it's now about 10yrs later
-Gary