Hello everyone,
First of all thank you for reading... I'm writing because I could use some advice... I've been in a relationship for about 2 years and I am having doubts about my own feelings... I'll try to be as concise and clear as possible...
I met my actual bf at work... At that time I was just getting out from a very difficult relationship and didn't want to have a bf at all... But we kept being friends, he was very patient with me and after several months we started our relationship.
It has been a great relationship, we have been very happy. He is the ideal man for me in many ways, I love his feelings and admire him a lot. We always have a great time together and I love spending time with him. He trusts me completely and I do trust him back. As with any relationship, we've had our ups and downs, but we have been able to sort things out... We have already talked about getting married and each of us has started saving money and all of that.
However there are two things I am confused about: I've never had sex and I haven't had sex with him... I feel bad because I think I haven't been able to open up to him at that level, he has been very patient with me but I don't know what's wrong with me... Truth is, I'm scared and hence I just don't feel like doing it.
The other thing I'm confused about is my feelings... My work involves a lot of traveling and I have a friend I feel attracted to... Something like that has never happened to me while being with my actual bf. It all started when my friend helped me during seriously rough times while I was away and a more close friendship developed. Some months later my friend confessed he was in love with me. I told him I was not available. However, feelings started to develop and sometimes I find myself thinking about and missing my friend, and that makes me feel so bad and so ashamed I have never cheated on my bf and do not intend to do so... I think the thing with my friend is infatuation and I do wanna fight for what I have with my bf. But I wish I could know why am I feeling like this.
I do love my bf, but perhaps our relationship has cooled down to a friendship... I want to make things work but I am afraid to tell him what's happening to me, because he would be very hurt and even if I asked him for some time to clear my mind, I think I would lose him forever...
I would like to know, has something like this ever happened to you? If so, what did you do?
Any advice will be greatly appreciated