Need Suggestion, I liked this girl !!!

[DestUnkwn]

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I liked this forum it is easy to navigate and it seems to be a good place to put your heart's content out.

Anyway lets get to business. First of all, I have to say I'm definitely not a player when it comes to dating. I only have 2 girlfriend in the past. But yeah, I met my ex-girlfriend through a mutual friend and the other one from our class in high school. However, I'm single now and just started University. And I just saw this girl at Uni and I think I have fallen for her. However, she is a complete stranger to me that happens to be on the same lecture and none of my friends know her or her friends so if I were to get to know her, I would have to make the move first.

Anyway, I was considering to approach her after lecture to get to know her. And I'm planning to pretend that I was dared by my friend to ask for her name and of course take it from there. Do you think my method is lame ?? Or the good old fashioned eye contact and a smile is better ?? Coz to be honest, I dont have a lot of experience picking up stranger in a club/pub.

Any suggestion guys, what would you do if you were in my shoes ?? Sorry if my question is silly/stupid. Thanks all for the help.

[ewomack]

I don't know if saying you talked to her "on a dare" is a good idea... that can get taken in negative ways... she also might not appreciate being the object of a bet. But it depends on the person. For an out of the blue introduction you may want to avoid that since you don't want to take a chance on insulting her.

Since you're in the same class you can offer to study together in a public place or if she asks a question in class approach her like you're following up. It would be better if you actually were, but we all do what we can. Meeting people from across a room is difficult.

[DestUnkwn]

Thx for the advice ewomack. However, the situation is not in a class room (Sorry if I didnt make it clear in my first post). It is actually in a lecture theater. So there would be no interaction whatsoever from the students. We just sit there and hear our lecturer talk and its a big lecture as well, we have a lecture theater filled with 200 people at a time.

[Gigabitch]

Sit right down next to her and smile. Confidence is the world's best cologne.

[DestUnkwn]

Sit right down next to her and smile. Confidence is the world's best cologne.

Thx Gigabitch for the advice.

However, since it is a learning environment and not a pub/club, wouldn't she had all her guard up if a total stranger just sit and try to pick her up which any girl would have read my intention almost instantly in that environment?

[Gigabitch]

No. It's a classroom. People are supposed to sit near each other! It's a wonderful opportunity to meet her. It would be really inconvenient if you didn't have a class with her, but you do. Aren't you lucky?

[DestUnkwn]

No. It's a classroom. People are supposed to sit near each other! It's a wonderful opportunity to meet her. It would be really inconvenient if you didn't have a class with her, but you do. Aren't you lucky?

Sorry if I didnt make it clear in my initial post, but this is not a classroom, it is a lecture theater. So it is not place where we learn interactively by discussion in a tutorial group. But this is simply where we go where we listen to our lecturer talks and most people are complete stranger to each other in a lecture theater. So it is not a classroom situation.

[Gigabitch]

Yes, I know. You're still supposed to sit next to somebody, right? Why not her?

[DestUnkwn]

You've got a point there. Perhaps I think too much. Thanks guys

[Gigabitch]

FYI, my college boyfriend didn't talk to me for an entire semester because he thought he didn't have a chance.

Jackass.

We ended up falling madly in love. This could be you.

[trixie]

There's nothing like honesty and confidence. When I was in school I had a guy sit next to me in lecture one day. I'd seen him around but we hadn't been introduced. He made a little small talk before class and then after class he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I think you are the most beautiful woman I've seen in a long time. Would you consider letting me take you out to dinner this weekend?" **swoon**

He told me later how nervous he really was underneath, but it really didn't show. GO FOR IT! The worst she can say is "no, thank you."

[shithappens]

FYI, my college boyfriend didn't talk to me for an entire semester because he thought he didn't have a chance.

Jackass.

We ended up falling madly in love. This could be you.

Sounds wonderful.

There's nothing like honesty and confidence. When I was in school I had a guy sit next to me in lecture one day. I'd seen him around but we hadn't been introduced. He made a little small talk before class and then after class he looked me straight in the eye and said, "I think you are the most beautiful woman I've seen in a long time. Would you consider letting me take you out to dinner this weekend?" **swoon**

He told me later how nervous he really was underneath, but it really didn't show. GO FOR IT! The worst she can say is "no, thank you."

no i think ur last statement is actaully. VERY WRONG. To the gal who said that yes, it's jus no thank you. But the guy who planned it up, gained all the courage and tried his best hears and answer like that from the one he love, even the hardest and strongest men will be shaken to the ground.. they jus dun show it there on the spot of course.

It's not easy being a guy trust me. I'm a guy

[trixie]

Hey Shithappens,

I'm not suggesting that being turned down is easy - yeah rejection sucks, but you can't let that stop you.. You can't know unless you try.

There's something guys should do after being turned down: QTIP or Quit Taking It Personally. There could be 457890123 reasons she turned you down that don't have anything to do with you. She's in a relationship, she's not ready to date at this time.. or she's afraid of men or she had a traumatic experience, she just wants to concentrate on her studies, she's GAY, whatever... If you make each rejection about you, you'll let yourself and your self esteem be crushed into the ground. If she turns you down, it just means she's not the right person for you.

On that note, I wish more women knew how to be gracious about being asked out.

I never, ever ask a guy out. Call me old fashioned but I still think it's his job to do the initial chasing.

If a man asked me out or asks for my phone number, I am always, always, always flattered. No matter who he is or what he looks like. I am also very polite and sincere because I do know it takes courage. I wish more women got that.

I always politely say, "Thank you, I'm really flattered. You have great taste, but I'm not available" or something like similar.

Gentlemen, QTIP will get you far.

I also wanted to add - one of the ways I've been asked out (at a restaurant, at a grocery store, at a concert once..) is for a guy to make a little small talk and then give me his card and specifically say he's like to take me out sometime. This is perfect if it's a situation where a woman might not want to give out her number to a total stranger. I know there are places on the web that offer free business cards.

I'm tricky -- If I'd date him or am intrigued I'll call when I don't think he's going to pick up so I can leave my number. He's got to do the asking out part. :-)

Bob Smith
Professional Student (or something wittier I can't think of right now)
802.555.1212

[DestUnkwn]

yeah shithappens, I understand what you said. Been there before (rejection) when I was younger. It sucked. But overtime now I have to agree with trixie. You've got nothing to lose by asking her. In fact, I think its better to live knowing if theres any future or not with the girl you liked than floating in the middle of the sea searching for an answer.

Anyway thx guys for the helps once again, I guess this will take a lot of courage for me, but this is it, I really want to get this out of my mind. And I guess so that I won't be too disappointed if I get rejected, I should expect to receive "NO" from her. It would really help psychologically I guess.