What do you think?

[RavenFlame]

Hey, I'm a 20 year old guy, with a bit of a problem it would seem. I going to tell my 'story', and I'd really liked to see what people make of me, seeing as you'll have an unbiased view. Thanks for your time.

About 4 years ago I was really infacuated with a mate's girlfriend, I didn't act upon this, but after a period of a few weeks when she'd been repeatedly upset, she asked to speak to me in private. We met up and she told me that she didn't love her boyfriend anymore and that she loved me, I said I felt that same way.

She'd then said she find the right time to break things off with her boyfriend so that we could be together. I said I'd wait. That never happened, for several months we met up a couple of times, we talked, exchanged hugs, held hands, and once kinda snuggled when we went camping with friends (her boyfriend wasn't there).

As it went on it became obvious that she fallen out of love with me and was going to stay with her boyfriend, I made her finish us and I was distraught.

A few months later, she broke up with her boyfriend anyway, and I then admitted to him what had happened, we are still friends somehow.
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Two years ago, I had a two year relationship with a girl and just before the beginning of our second year she admitted that she'd cheated on me, she'd kissed and 'felt up' someone when she was drunk, I stayed with her. But half way through our second year, I met a girl who was in the same position as me, she'd been cheated on by her boyfriend and was still with him, we both weren't really happy in our current relationships and started meeting up, much in the same way as the previous story, hands were held, there were a couple of pecks on the cheek. I ended up feeling too guilty, and called the meetings off, of which I then admitted to my girlfriend (we broke up amicably months later). I also apologised to the other girls boyfriend for meeting up with her.
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I spent the last year completely trying to win the heart of someone, doing all manner of things for her, and being there to listen about her troublesome family life, I really wanted her but she didn't want me. I then went out with a close girl friend that I cared alot about, but didn't feel the way she did for me, as soon as I did, this other girl started giving me attention, I ended up spliting up with my girlfriend after a month because it wasn't fair on her and I knew I still liked the other girl. Although as soon as I broke up with my girlfriend, the girl I liked lost all interest.

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What do you think?

[vashti]

What do we think about what?

It sounds like you are a typical young male, confused about relationships.

Is that what you are asking?

BTW - it is bad to move in on your friend's girl.

[RavenFlame]

I mean what do you think about me, am I a bad person for all this?

[vashti]

Do YOU think you are bad?

I mean, for the most part, you are talking about the actions of a teenage kid. Teenage kids are known to do dumb things.

The question is: are you maturing? Are you learning anything? Do you try to avoid hurting people?

BTW - you should be really careful about mixing friendship and dating unless you are serious.

[RavenFlame]

I've apologised to the people involved and gone through the remorse before, but a friend kinda laid into me about a month ago me about my role in the first story, and I've just been feeling utterly gutted since. I've started to really reconsider myself as the villian, although I maintain that I got screwed over too in some cases.

I suppose I'm just having trouble dealing with guilt, but I'm not sure if all the guilt is justified, whether I really am that big of an ass, of whether I'm blowing it out of proportion.

[Gigabitch]

Look forward, not back. If your friend continues to hold on to it, let him, but it's over. It was over a long time ago.

[RavenFlame]

I am learning, I know what I have done wrong.

I do to try to avoid hurting people, I think I have gotten my fair share of hurt out of these experiences just as much as unintentionally giving it though.

In terms of maturing, I know that I don't want to repeat past mistakes, I'm steering clear of any chance of a relationship at the moment until I know that I'm properly invested in someone.

[vashti]

It sounds like you are on the right path, then. If you've apologized and regret your mistakes, there really isn't much more you can do about it. You should remind your friend that your were 16 (just a kid!), and that you wouldn't make the same choice now that you did then.

[RavenFlame]

Thanks for listening guys, you've been a great help.